Thursday, December 1, 2022

Day 286: Writer

Today is the first day (well last night, really) that I've seen my identity as "Writer."

And it made me laugh with joy! And disbelief. And then more joy.

I was reading an article about dictation apps (to which I begrudgingly acknowledge that my boss was right about how great they are - after he went on and on about one for MONTHS, last year 😑). 

The article was written by an author. Duh.
A 4x New York Times bestselling author. 
I don't care if he got paid to write it - he knows the material he's writing about. So when I read about things that I can relate to when I write, it was like a light went on.
"Hey, this writer is writing about things that happen to me . . . Does this mean - I'M a writer?!?"

Strangely enough, I didn't (and still don't fully) see myself that way. 

I saw myself as someone who writes her blog posts. 

I saw myself as someone who enjoys writing.

But never as someone with the label of "Writer." 

Why?

Because - I just learned - I had the requirement of 'outside validation of my skills by others' attached to being a "Writer." 
And I was afraid I couldn't get said validation.
So, rather than face the possibility of failure, why even try? 

This is a fear that's become glaringly obvious in my writing a blog that I don't really share with people. Thus, not claiming the label.

Well, not anymore!!

😳 What?!. . . But sharing is scary!! 
[Make sure you (re)read that in the whiniest, Tom Haverford, voice possible.]

Sharing IS scary.
But taking action is scarier.
And I am finding myself in a place that calls for that now.
I had my time to rest and recharge. And now is time to get into action.

But, boy oh boy, is the resistance strong!
Scared Hazey is STRONG!
 
What does this impending action look like?
I'm not quite sure.
Ok, that's not true - I'm pretending I don't know. Something also known as stalling. And the exact something my coach called me out on this week - and it's a good thing she did.

Cue transition into new phase of life!

While I am still gathering up bravery as I cling to the edge of the action pool, I know my dive is not far away.
 
Doing new things will always be scary.
But I'm learning that moving towards them can become easier when we claim our own labels and define ourselves. 

We are the only ones who will ever walk in our shoes, so lets write up an adventure that makes the journey meaningful.

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