Sunday, July 10, 2011

$60 and a kiss

A few days ago I took my sewing machine into a repair shop to take care of some inconvenient technical issues. It was a small locally owned business run by an oldish Assyrian man and his brother.

Upon meeting the man I had spoken with on the phone, Benny, I was quite surprised to find such a nice, funny, old man. We talked quite a while when I dropped off my piece of machinery, discussing everything from what bobbins look like from machines from the 1800s to how the Singer brand got it's name. We even explored how Benny has so many ideas for different inventions ("i'm an inventor, you are too"). I, apparently, had the privilege of hearing two of these said inventions and somehow ended up consenting to being Benny's business partner -"we'll go in 50/50."
'Yeah, ok'
- was my response, not really thinking he was serious. After a brief Assyrian vocab lesson and randomly talking to his brother on his cell phone when he called I said goodbye and planned to return in two days time to pick up my repaired sewing machine.

The following day I received a call from Benny telling me the repairs were finished and I could come pick my machine up any time. Luckily for me I had the use of a car the next morning, eliminating my need to haul what felt like a box of bricks around on the bus for a second time.

I got to the shop around 11 and what did I find? A locked door. what? So I gave Benny a call -"I came to pick up my machine but there's no one here." I was assured he would be there in the next hour so I went about my day and looped back a bit later.

Now this is where things get kind of weird - as if him asking if I wanted to talk to his brother on his cell phone when I first met him wasn't weird enough. I go back into the shop and test out my machine to make sure it's working properly and inquire about payment. Cash only? That sucks, so I ran across the street to Spinny's Market to use the ATM. Once I got back I handed Benny the $60 he charged me and I hear "Oh, actually it's sixty dollars and a half." So I think he means $65 and start digging in my purse for my wallet.
"Did you hear what I said?" he asks me.
'Yeah, $60 and a half'
"No, I said $60 and a hug."
OOOHHHHHH, now I get it. Me, being the incredibly smart person I am reply
'Oh! Ok sure.' - no big deal right?

I prepared to leave and thanked him a few times for the repairs. As i was turning to leave Benny says "Wait, what about my hug?"
'Oh right' - and I walk around the desk to give him a hug. It isn't until mid embrace that I realize what a bad idea that really was. It became blatantly clear when I tried pulling away and he didn't give any indication of letting go any time soon. Then i feel scratchy whiskers on my skin - he kissed my neck!! Twice!!!! I pulled away as fast as humanly possible, weirded out but not wanting to be rude. "I like you, you're a very nice girl," he tells me "you'll remember that kiss on the neck won't you?"
'(insert uncomfortable laugh here) yeah, I will.'
"Before you leave I have a gift for you" - uh oh, what in the world is that supposed to mean? To my relief he pulls out a pair of thread snippers and I am finally able to get out of the shop and the whole awkward situation.

I've realized from this that at times I am entirely too nice. But hey, it makes for a pretty good story and I did get free thread snips . . .

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Poodles + dreadlocks = AMAZING

I saw my first Rastafarian Poodle the other day on my walk to the lakefront to watch the fireworks. Picture, if you will, a black poodle with the classic hair cut associated with the breed. However, instead of a poof of curls sitting atop the pooch's head there was a patch of dreads. Long, thin, doggie dreads that blew in the wind like Fabio's luscious locks during a photo shoot. Talk about majestic!

Earlier in the day I went to the "beach" with my roomies with the goal of evening out an unsightly chest tan line. While venturing thigh high into the undoubtedly germ infested dirty water I, from out of nowhere, feel something hit me in the back. I immediately run my hand over the assaulted surface only to collect a handful of wet sand. Someone had thrown a glob of wet sand at me!! I quickly spin around and instantly zero in on the culprits, a group of 5 elementary school aged children. "Ooohhhhhhhhhhh" I let out in a menacing tone. 10 little eyes grew larger. I was very tempted to reach down and fling my own sand blob straight back at them, but I didn't know who to aim for. That and I didn't want to have to deal with any angry parents later on.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

This humidity will be the death of me . . . until of course the temperature drops. Did i mention convenient store workers love us?!?

ON a hot, hot day in July . . .
Sa smells her knee, then her armpit . . .
So- Smell anything?
Sa- . . . I don't smell anything
[So smells her armpits]
So- . . . maybe a little . . .
Sa- me too

Today we received the "Beautiful Twin Girl Discount," consisting of free Smarties candies and a reduced price on a quart of milk. SCORE!!! First-discounted milk, next-winning lottery tickets!!! Oh yeah . . .