Day 313: Anticipating

I've never been super fond of playing hostess.

I think a big reason for this is a self-imposed pressure to make sure that everything is "perfect" and to anticipate every need of my guests.

Sound remotely familiar or relatable?

If it does, then you've likely experienced how exhausting it is.

Hosting is exhausting.

Or so I thought.

Really, it's anticipating the needs of others that is exhausting.

It's running on assumptions that is exhausting.

It's attempting to always be 'on' that is exhausting.

These things prevent me from being fully present in the moment.

They prevent me from fully enjoying, taking in, and embracing the experience I am having.

They take me out of the now and put me into a hypothetical future, planning and playing out a variety of scenarios all created in my mind.

And when my focus is on the future, or more appropriately - a specific future I've currated, I am pulled out and disengaged from what is actually happening around me.

Thus, stress and energy drain ensue.

But maybe there isn't a need to anticipate all of the possible needs of others...

Maybe there isn't a need to try to be perfect...

Because in reality, neither of these things are actually possible.

Perfection doesn't exist.

Mindreading (to my knowledge) doesn't exist.

Last time I checked, the times I remember the most are the times I fully engaged with others.

The best stories I have are from the times when unexpected outcomes or needs were discovered and tackled together, not in the isolation of my mind.

Perhaps allowing myself to learn in the moment rather than expecting myself to know everything ahead of time is the real key to being present and fully engaged.

Perhaps allowing myself to be human and embracing the imperfections that come with it is the key to hosting.

And perhaps this new approach to hosting is the key to experiencing life.

Life isn't the scenarios we create in our minds.

 

Live it, don't anticipate it.