Day 281: Mindset: Dating vs Promotion

I've been writing about dating a lot, it feels like, over the past few months.
But that's because I've been learning so much from it!!

Like, in other areas of life . . . outside of dating.

The most prominent learning to date (no pun intended) - is in creating my own coaching business.

I had a session with my coach, Audrey, in which we used the learning I've gained from shifting my beliefs and approach to dating and applied it to my business. More specifically, promoting my coaching services and attracting my ideal client.

I have some pretty deep limiting beliefs that are getting in the way of me feeling comfortable and at ease when it comes to self-promotion. But crazily enough, the steps to work through them seem to be same as I have learned to take in dating.

It starts with the mindset.

Since mindset plays a huge role in just getting out of the gate, it can be helpful to identify one in which you already feel confident and comfortable. 

Once you have that mindset in mind, describe it. 

I explained to Audrey, "with the mindset I have about dating - it's not a need, it's a bonus. I have a clearer idea of how I feel and want to show up in life. And this helps me to navigate new connections - measuring if they amplify or detract from how I want to feel."

So, identifying how you want to feel and having a set of criteria you can use to measure that feeling, in order to direct your next steps.

After that we briefly explored the question, What am I seeking to gain?
Or as Audrey rephrased it, What would light the fire in you?
Or as I'm thinking about it now, What makes me come alive?

For me, it's passion.
Doing anything I'm passionate about lights my fire and makes me come alive. And the thing I'm most passionate about is coaching. But more specifically, it's:
- personal development
- exploration of self
- making the world better for oneself and others

To be completely honest, I don't light up at the name of 'coaching,' but it encapsulates the pieces that do set me ablaze, so it will do for now.

Next, I was asked who came to mind when I thought about my ideal client.
I hesitated to answer, not trusting what just popped into my head.
It was my younger self, past Sarah.  

This isn't an uncommon thing. Humans, by and large, want to do something connected to their own lived experience.

Despite this, my hesitation continued. 'Is it ok for my ideal client to be myself?'
Hazey had made her entrance.

But not soon enough, as we were already to the next step of breaking down the imagined person into key characteristics.

Characteristics of past Sarah:
- people pleaser
- finding it hard to say 'no'
- not knowing what she wants
- not feeling fulfilled
- thinks others need to be put before herself
- doesn't know how to say 'yes' to herself

We were reaching the end of our session by this point and I now had,
1) a more helpful mindset
2) criteria for how I want to feel: passionate (but also inspired and energized)
3) criteria on what I'm looking for (client-wise): [above]

I was then tasked with the assignment of describing past Sarah and giving her story - which I am procrastinating on by writing this blog post.
. . . But, at least it got me thinking about it!!

It's only a [short] matter of time before -
"Hey, World! This is me and this is what I'm looking for!"