Day 194: Dating Definitions

What's your definition of dating?

I didn't realize until this week how important this question is. Not only to answer for yourself, but to learn about your potential suitors and matches.

On a recent first date 'intent' was discussed. "What are you looking for?"
'Something long-term' was the answer on both sides.
Then I made a comment about 'hook-up culture' and was immediately met with disagreement at the very idea existing.
My date's strong sentiments were that hook-up culture isn't a thing and if people want to have sex when they first meet that shouldn't matter.

Fair. Your body, your choice [in ALL of the ways]. The aspect missing from his argument, however, was intent. 

This is where one's definition of dating is very important.

Prior to the pandemic, I hadn't given my own definition much conscious thought. Then, I happened upon an article that worded it perfectly:

Dating is just that. You're gathering data to see if the person you're connecting with is someone worth your time, energy and eventual devotion.

For me, the intent of dating is getting to know a person so that I may carry out the above definition.

This is in stark contrast to my definition of 'hook-up culture,' in which the intent is not to get to know another person or make strong connections. But rather, to gain self-worth from an outside source within a short timeline.

There's no shame in either game, but I think it's important to get clear on which you're playing.

Taking time to identify your own definition of dating is important.
In the words of Dr. Sarah Katula:

That’s why we date. It’s an opportunity for us to grow as individuals, and if we’re lucky, find a partner.