Day 146: Life Events

I recently attended a good friend's bachelorette party. It took place in Nashville, a town known for being a bachelorette destination.

I wasn't too familiar with the city, as I'd never been there before. Which makes sense because I'm not a big country music fan. But for this special party I figured it would be a good time. And so did the bride.

We later discovered however, that some life events come with built in expectations. Expectations that need to be examined prior to the event in order to avoid disappointment. 

 

This was one such occasion.

Too bad we made it to this realization after the fact.

What were the unexplored expectations?

- That bachelorette parties are a wild time. 

- That they're filled with a lot of drinking and shrieking and attention-grabbing. 

- That they facilitate mingling and excitement. That they're the best party ever.

Or something along those lines . . . 

Our celebration didn't really look like that. 

The bride confessed to me her disappointment.

"It's just not what I was expecting. I was wanting to talk to people and mingle with other brides, cheering them on. I wanted to go somewhere and dance. And I tried really hard to like the music, but I just can't get into it..."

It appeared our celebration caught a case of the "shoulds." Trying to live up to the criteria our society paints of what a celebration of such a life event 'should' look like. 

Expectations of this kind don't take into consideration any unique identifiers such as, say, personality, tastes and preferences, influencers of enjoyment and comfort. You know, the things that make us all different.

 

So what type of expectations don't lead to disappointment? None, really. But more realistically, the expectations we set for ourselves in terms of how we experience things.  

Rather the resting the weight of satisfaction or enjoyment on external factors outside of our control (ex- strangers, music venues, etc), we can reel it in a bit to focus on the things that actually make experiences pleasant - our perception and interpretation of them.

When we shift the focus from external to internal, (how we view situations and are present in the moment) it becomes much easier to enjoy ourselves and create memories we want to remember.