Day 70: Screw your Golden Ticket, I want rare diamonds!

What once sent pandemonium rippling around the globe has upped the ante! 

Arthur Slugworth, Willy Wonka's arch rival, has just announced a sweet surprise of his own: 

The world's 5 rarest diamonds have been hidden inside jawbreakers!

Once the news broke, chaos exploded in every city.

In candy shops, adults were seen overtaking the stores and using their loot as weapons. Numerous incidents were reported of socks filled with jawbreakers - breaking more than just jaws.

Elsewhere, factories have repurposed their child labor in what should have been the stuff kids dream of - eating candy. But it quickly turned into a nightmare, as secret footage reveals:

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Factory forewoman (who will undoubtedly be played by Elizabeth Banks once this piece of history makes it to the silver screen) looks out over a large warehouse crammed full of small children.

Child laborer 1: " . . . . my tongue . . .it's bleeding!"

Forewoman: LICK FASTER!!

Child Laborer 2: ". . . my teeth hurt!"

Forewoman: You don't need teeth! Lick!!

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This seemingly innocent marketing tactic is steadily proving to have crossed the line somewhere along the way. 

With no way to know when or where the world's 5 rarest diamonds will be found, the world is beginning to plan for the worst. 

And with the ugly face of greed in broad sight, this is one test we hope humanity can pass.