Day 58: Happy Birthday, Serena!

Today is my sister, Serena,'s birthday. She is thir-- a year older today!

On her wishlist, I saw included this item: your favorite memory of us together.

This isn't necessarily my favorite memory of us together, but it is a prominent memory and a very important moment in my life. It happened in a sentence and the impact rocked me with just three small words. 

It also, conveniently, continues with the topic of my last post. 

************************************

Flashback to about 5 years ago. We were on the phone with each other and I was telling her about the new job I had recently started. It was in a career field that I had newly learned about and was very interested in. It was supposed to be a great experience and yet . . . I was only two months in and was finding it challenging in ways I'd never before experienced in my young adult life. 

Up until that point I was used to things coming relatively easy to me. I was a high performer and always delivered good work. But for some reason, in this position, nothing seemed to be clicking into place. I was smart, competent, resourceful and hard working - why the heck was I struggling SO MUCH?

The more I told Serena about what I was experiencing the clearer it became to me - I didn't like my job. 

Like, I REALLY didn't like my job. Not in a - this topic is boring or I'm not being challenged - kind of way, but in a - this job is making me feel miserable and doubt my abilities as a human - kind of way. I was very unhappy working there. And I was scared to admit that, especially to myself.

I got through my complaining and paused. In an increasingly elevated tone, I whimpered, "...I don't think I like my job."

My body was tense, my breathing was labored, and I was trying so hard not to cry. I was in such emotional distress. 

And then I heard her response: "Well, Sarah, you can quit. You don't have to work there."

I immediately felt a wave of relief wash over me - and tears stream down my face. It was as if, with those three simple words 'you can quit', the weight of guilt, shame, and judgement I had shackled to myself had been unlocked. I could feel my body get lighter.

My suffering had been acknowledged and validated. And more importantly, I had been shown that my happiness (and feeling of self-worth) is more important than any job, timeline, or other socially decided parameter.

As someone who has a very hard time working in any job that doesn't directly call for the living out of my own personal values, this was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. (And in case you were curious what happened with my job - I quit the following week.)

************************************

So, here's to one of the greatest gals I know! To Weenie Wayne, Marco, and Dippy, too - Happy Birthday!!!

Thanks for always being in my corner and having my back, not only as a sister and friend, but as one of my biggest supporters, cheerleaders, and promoters.