"Man, those kids loved me!" - as stated by my sister when recounting her recent friend visit to New York. "I think it's because I actually engaged with them."
Indeed, I also think that is the reason she was such a hit with her friends' kids; to whom, until this past weekend, she was a stranger.
How'd it work? Well, she took the time to:
- Ask questions - not just the surface kind, but the deeper questions that keep the conversation and sharing going
- LISTEN - this is arguably the most important step. She listened to what they were actually saying - with the goal of understanding and learning about them, rather than predicting the content outcome, thinking she knows better or the correct answers (or that her time or sharing was more important)
- Buy-in to what was being shared - when kids tell her stuff, they are telling about their current view and experience of their lives so far. She knows they are young, inexperienced, and still learning, so she's willing to roll with what they share and see where it takes them. No judgement, no expectations
This kid magnet phenomenon - or recipe, rather - got me thinking . . .
Why aren't these same principles applied more often to adults?
It's so easy to be stingy with our time, think we know more than others, and make judgements about experiences or views different than our own.
What if we gave that blueprint a break?
How would our relationships change?
How would we change?
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