Monday, October 31, 2022

Day 255: Model Pet Relationship

My friend is letting me test out her cat take a test drive as a cat owner by allowing one of her cats to stay with me for a few days. 

Fascinatingly, my 4-legged friend has sparked some new connections that I didn't have before about relationships.

For instance - all relationships, ideally, should be like that of a pet owner and pet. Not in the sense of possessiveness or ownership, but in the sense of non-judgment and unconditional love.

Think about it, if your pet does something wrong you wouldn't hold a two-week grudge about it. You probably wouldn't even hold a silent treatment grudge about it - at least for longer than a few minutes, anyway.

And yet, in relationships with other humans, we often hold onto disappointments and hurts, using them as a way of protecting ourselves from the possibility of future disappointments and hurts.

But with pets, we don't expect them to disappoint or hurt us.
We expect them to be kind and loving towards us.
And when they do disappoint, perhaps by doing something they're not supposed to, we don't hold onto the fear that they will do it again in the future. 
We know that pets are living creatures and that accidents happen. 
We also know that from accidents learning can always happen - along with training for better behavior down the road.

But somehow, this mindset doesn't often apply to human to human relationships. 
And it doesn't make any sense!
Especially when looked at from this angle.

Some might argue that animals don't have free will as humans do, nor do they [generally] have bad intentions towards their humans. Therefore, comparing relationships with pets to relationships with other humans is like comparing apples to oranges.
Totally different.

But what if it wasn't?

I mean, if you really think about it, a big reason pets owners enjoy relationships with their pets is because they share limitless love and behave well. 
The owners put in the time and effort to 'train' their pets.
The owners put in the time and effort to 'raise' their pets.
The owners put in the time and effort to 'build a relationship' with their pets.

To Train = To Raise = To Build a Relationship

It doesn't matter what word you use or what type of relationship you apply it to - it's all the same thing.

What would change if we all approached relationships as if we were getting to know a new pet? Expecting the best, learning from the worst, and loving what is from moment to moment.

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