It's my default answer to any question about my preferences in music or media. But I wasn't very clear on the details of why.
Wednesday, November 30, 2022
Day 285: BHAG
It's my default answer to any question about my preferences in music or media. But I wasn't very clear on the details of why.
Tuesday, November 29, 2022
Day 284: Sadness = missing details
Sadness* is too vague for me.
As someone who requires a lot of details in
order to more fully understand something, sadness is my least favorite
emotion.
Monday, November 28, 2022
Day 283: Friend Types
Or more specifically, how you categorize what the people you know mean to you?
These are the people . . . I know.
I know who they are and they know/remember me.
Maybe I've known them for a long time, maybe it's only been a short while.
Generally, these are the people who are identified by how I know them [i.e. classmate, coworker, person on the bus] rather than who they are to me.
Friends
Sunday, November 27, 2022
Day 282: Overshare
Saturday, November 26, 2022
Day 281: Mindset: Dating vs Promotion
I've been writing about dating a lot, it feels like, over the past few months.
But that's because I've been learning so much from it!!
Like, in other areas of life . . . outside of dating.
The most prominent learning to date (no pun intended) - is in creating my own coaching business.
I had a session with my coach, Audrey, in which we used the learning I've gained from shifting my beliefs and approach to dating and applied it to my business. More specifically, promoting my coaching services and attracting my ideal client.
I have some pretty deep limiting beliefs that are getting in the way of me feeling comfortable and at ease when it comes to self-promotion. But crazily enough, the steps to work through them seem to be same as I have learned to take in dating.
It starts with the mindset.
Since mindset plays a huge role in just getting out of the gate, it can be helpful to identify one in which you already feel confident and comfortable.
Once you have that mindset in mind, describe it.
I explained to Audrey, "with the mindset I have about dating - it's not a need, it's a bonus. I have a clearer idea of how I feel and want to show up in life. And this helps me to navigate new connections - measuring if they amplify or detract from how I want to feel."
So, identifying how you want to feel and having a set of criteria you can use to measure that feeling, in order to direct your next steps.
After that we briefly explored the question, What am I seeking to gain?
Or as Audrey rephrased it, What would light the fire in you?
Or as I'm thinking about it now, What makes me come alive?
For me, it's passion.
Doing anything I'm passionate about lights my fire and makes me come alive. And the thing I'm most passionate about is coaching. But more specifically, it's:
- personal development
- exploration of self
- making the world better for oneself and others
To be completely honest, I don't light up at the name of 'coaching,' but it encapsulates the pieces that do set me ablaze, so it will do for now.
Next, I was asked who came to mind when I thought about my ideal client.
I hesitated to answer, not trusting what just popped into my head.
It was my younger self, past Sarah.
This isn't an uncommon thing. Humans, by and large, want to do something connected to their own lived experience.
Despite this, my hesitation continued. 'Is it ok for my ideal client to be myself?'
Hazey had made her entrance.
But not soon enough, as we were already to the next step of breaking down the imagined person into key characteristics.
Characteristics of past Sarah:
- people pleaser
- finding it hard to say 'no'
- not knowing what she wants
- not feeling fulfilled
- thinks others need to be put before herself
- doesn't know how to say 'yes' to herself
We were reaching the end of our session by this point and I now had,
1) a more helpful mindset
2) criteria for how I want to feel: passionate (but also inspired and energized)
3) criteria on what I'm looking for (client-wise): [above]
I was then tasked with the assignment of describing past Sarah and giving her story - which I am procrastinating on by writing this blog post.
. . . But, at least it got me thinking about it!!
It's only a [short] matter of time before -
"Hey, World! This is me and this is what I'm looking for!"
Friday, November 25, 2022
Day 280: Take Get Wish Want
Now that Thanksgiving is over and we've turned the page on gratitude, it's a great time to put a spotlight on something else.
Expectations.
I was reflecting on some things - as I do, because I love having myself a good think - and the theme of 'expectations' kept popping up.
Expectations touch every facet of life and will have the same formula no matter the topic. For me, the topic of focus during my Turkey Day Morning Think was relationships and how I approach them.
Or more specifically, how I approach dating.
For a long time, I sought out what I thought I wanted.
No, scratch that - I didn't seek anything out. I let things come to me because I didn't know what I wanted (or that I had the autonomy to choose, for that matter).
But what I could get was never what I wanted.
And despite not knowing exactly what that was, I did have a vague idea of what it wasn't. Armed with this realization, I would continue on wishing for things to be different and the situation to magically become what I actually wanted.
In my previous dating experiences, low self-esteem and social conditioning played a HUGE role in my behavior and situational tolerance.
Expectations of things we would do, expectations of how we connect, even expectations of how I'd feel about myself.
Thursday, November 24, 2022
Day 279: Remember to be Thankful for . . .
Wednesday, November 23, 2022
Day 278: Allowed to Flow, All Systems Go
Some might also call this being 'in the zone' or in one's 'element.'
It's a learned way.
The reason being, restriction is cultivated by judgement. Fueled by assigning labels and value to things that are, in reality, completely neutral.
. . . Well, now you have another option to work with! You're welcome 😜.
Because if you think about it, the absence of space, time, and movement is a recipe for . . . constipation.
Tuesday, November 22, 2022
Day 277: (-judging) + art + perspective = wow!
I judge things. A lot.
But I don't feel bad about it. I think it's just a part of life.
I read a quote the other day that gets at this idea quite well:
All truly wise thoughts have been thought already, thousands of times; but to make them truly ours, we must think them over again honestly, until they take firm root in our personal experience.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
It's easy to judge until we have experiences that allow us to understand things on a personal level.
For it is when we really understand something that we are able to see all of the pieces that make it up, rather than just the outer shell.
I recognized some of my own judgements this weekend in a series of rapid fire, small events.
The first, my desire for a Saturday morning wake and bake.
There's nothing wrong with the act itself, but the judgement I placed on it was where things started to get murky.
Why?
Because as a coach, I fully believe that allowing ourselves to do the things we want will almost always yield better results than that of restricting or deprioritizing ourselves.
But on this Saturday, my judging brain was quick to act after recognizing my desire to get high and relax first thing in the morning.
I then experienced an internal tug-of-war between wanting to practice what I preach and wanting to 'be responsible.'
Which was really just code for judging myself and not trusting that
1) I knew what I really needed in that moment and
2) that I would still do all of the things I wanted to throughout the day, just perhaps in a slightly different order than normal.
Once that was settled, I stopped judging and allowed myself to do what I wanted -and something magical happened.
Well, magical to me.
I got on a thought path that unraveled a very detailed, surprisingly well laid-out idea for an experiential event in which my love of art and coaching could be easily intertwined.
"Oh my gosh! This is so cool!!!!"
As I wrote and wrote and wrote, until the ideas stopped flowing from my pen, I started to recognize something. Another of my regular pitfalls was mysteriously missing in the moment:
'Needing to know all of the steps before the first is ever taken.'
This is a topic I coach on and think about a lot.
On a conscious level, I know there is ZERO way a person can know every single step they will take in order to achieve a goal before they even start. We rarely have ALL of the skills needed before undertaking a new venture. That's why we learn as we go - even if we don't realize it.
Yet, despite knowing this, I often hesitate and wave off big ideas I have due to 'not knowing how.'
But the thing is - HOW is actually the last piece if the puzzle. I'd even go so far as to say it's more of a byproduct.
Byproduct of what?
The WHAT and the WHY.
It was through my self-prioritization not long before that I was able to reveal a big HOW.
My Saturday morning WHAT was: art interpretation.
Spurred by catching sight of 'the gallery' and reflecting on the different interpretations I'd pulled from the same image over the course of time.
My Saturday morning WHY was: perspective.
Each interpretation of my art came from a different perspective - caused by changes in time, understanding, and circumstance. Coaching is ALL about perspective and developing the ability to consciously choose one's own perspective.
"...what if there was a way to educate about that through art?"
And then it hit me!
My HOW!!!
Using works of art, replicated in 7 different ways, to reflect common perspectives held in each of the 7 core energy levels!
My brain basically exploded.
I have struggled for two years now with my own understanding of the core energy levels. And to explain them to others in a way that feels natural, fun, and engaging to me?!
Oof, my mind goes blank.
But not anymore!
And it's all because I embraced my wants and stopped judging.
Monday, November 21, 2022
Day 276: Happy Birthday, Kelsey!
What would high school have been like without:
- the Red Hot Chili Peppers CD stuck in your car?
- unending practice backing out of my parent's driveway?
- trips to Lincoln City to eat DQ blizzards in the parking lot?
Boring - that's what!
And what would life have been like without you, Kelsey?
Sad. And boring.
I'm so glad you were born and that we've been friends for so long.
Happy birthday!!!
In an attempt to refresh the fond and perhaps embarrassing moments we've shared together, here's a little birthday story for you. Told from the perspective of our main man -
Enjoy
**********************************
I've been different things to different people.
Most famously, 'a street rat' by palace guards and 'Prince Ali' by all who took in Genie's fanfare.
But my most important role is the least known - Kelsey's Ride or Die.
You may not know this, but I was a fixture of her many adventures during high school with her friends. There's a chance I may have lived in her car . . . . but it was by choice! Boy, did I love that red Ford Focus . . .
But you know what I love more than that car?
Kelsey Jordan
Why?
Um - have you met her?!
Please.
How could anyone NOT love her?!
Take the shrine she set up for her brother before having her annual New Year's Eve sleep over.
- what's that? It wasn't actually a shrine, but rather closely positioned candles and photos . . . of just her brother?
. . . oh.
Well, anyone could make that mistake. And, hey - I blame her friends. They were the ones that came up with the idea that it was a shrine! Those jerks . . .
I've never seen anyone handle a nacho fiasco quite like Kelsey.
Always keeping her cool.
Even when Sarah spilled the pan of nachos all over the open door of the hot oven as she attempted to put them in.
"Pick it up!! Hurry!!!" was the collectively yelled advice.
It's as if they thought the cheese was going to melt on the hot oven door or something.
I wouldn't know.
I'm not allowed to go near ovens, being plastic and all.
Kelsey is also an active supporter of senior citizen - ahem - community center events.
She is all about community!
Which is probably why she and her friends would frequent the senior "community" center for Wednesday night bingo.
That is until they started winning . . . and the old people kicked them out, claiming underage gambling.
But for some reason when they lost it was ok to be there . . .
My boo never lets anything keep her down! She just keeps strutting her stuff and walking it off.
Kind of like the time she and her friends were hanging out at the Higdon's house.
This woman has the confidence of a Goddess!
She walked right past all-minus-one of the Higdon men as she returned to the kitchen after using the bathroom, only to be informed that her dress was tucked into her underwear and she'd flashed half of her friend's family.
I'll say it again: CON-FI-DENCE
Seriously! This woman is the epitome of what it means to walk to the beat of your own drum.
And if that means walking around with your dress tucked into your underwear, more power to you!
Funny anecdotes aside, I've seen firsthand the kind and beautiful soul Kelsey is.
Her friends light up when she's around and never leave her presence without at least one good laugh.
She is supportive and loving, with just the right amount of sass and dark humor. As she and SoSa agree, 'if I'm mean to you that means I like you. It's if I'm always nice that you should be concerned!'
Here's to Kelsey! May this next trip around the sun be her best yet as she just gets better, wiser, and happier with time.
I will love you forever and am so proud of you!!!
Oh, and Sarah wanted me to say that she is, too.
Sunday, November 20, 2022
Day 275: New best compliment
Saturday, November 19, 2022
Day 274: Robins
I went for a chilly walk this morning around North Pond and I saw a Robin.
. . And then another one.
I turned to look at the edge of the pond and I saw a whole bunch more!
"I've never seen so many robins in one spot before!!"
The most robins I've ever seen at once is 2 - maybe 3. Tops.
My mind was blown.
So I looked it up and learned that, while in spring and summer robins tend to stick in pairs, in winter they live in nomadic flocks. And the flock size can grow as large as hundreds - or even thousands!!
I can't even imagine . . .
Friday, November 18, 2022
Day 273: Restriction
Sometimes we outgrow where we are.
Sometimes it's a job.
Sometimes it's friends.
Sometimes it's a lifestyle.
But for every human, there will come a time when what we are doing no longer works so well for us. A time when, given the choice to stay the same or try something new, to remain 'as is' would lead to restriction and cramping.
Take this tree, for example.
It has been growing between these apartment buildings for who knows how long. And all the while, it's range of growth has been impeded by literal walls that are surrounding it.
Obviously, trees can't just walk to a different location that would be more conducive to growth.
But we can.
And that's a scary reality.
Because, for a lot of us, that means moving into a reality that we are no longer familiar with.
That means doing things we haven't done before.
That means building new muscles and skills along the way, causing us to become very aware of pains and struggles that weren't previously on the radar.
That means choosing to live (and learn), rather than just exist.
I debated writing, "sometimes we outgrow who we are."
But, I don't think I actually believe that.
I think we all have core traits and characteristics that are foundational to us.
These are the things that stick with us no matter what our age or experience.
I don't think we outgrow these, ever - they are what make us, 'us.'
However, I do think that, depending on one's situation, experience, company, and/or mindset, 'who we [really] are' can become overgrown, hidden, and tangled up.
And when this happens, it can become very challenging to extract the 'us' from the 'what' and 'where' we are surrounded by.
We all have the ability to choose how we experience life.
We all have the ability to choose - even if we don't like any of our choices.
We also all have the ability to say 'no' and decline the things that come our way.
It took me a long time to come to understand this. And I'm still working on it.
For me, experiencing life in a way that is beneficial (rather than forceful or restrictive) started with allowing myself to consider this:
What would feel good to me [in this situation]?
Regardless of the actions that come next, just considering this question makes a difference.
It signals to the mind that there is an alternative path forward from what we are used to and all of the 'shoulds' and 'supposed tos' that flood our thoughts.
It signals that there is a path away from restriction.
Thursday, November 17, 2022
Day 272: A different kind of romance
"I'm really enjoying our date - it's so romantic."
Date in a chicken wing graveyard.
. . . The feeling's not mutual . . .
You ever have an experience where one component managed to throw the whole thing off?
Perhaps you're having a nice time or you're excited thinking about whatever 'it' is, but then something unexpected happens and you can't seem to enjoy yourself?
I think that's what happened to the grumpy Gus on the right. But definitely not to the lovely lady on the left - she's smitten!
Maybe if we asked her, she'd share that her secret is having an intention for what she wants to experience. Not so much being wowed by her environment or external factors, but rather focusing internally. Focusing on how she wants to connect and engage with others and her overall experience, which leaves her open and curious towards whatever comes her way. Rather than quick to judge when things don't fit the image of her expectations.
Hmm, there's a chance she may be on to something! I mean, if that technique can make a graveyard romantic, just imagine how it could transform routine experiences!
Wednesday, November 16, 2022
Day 271: Nearing the end
As I think about the end of the year, I think about this blog - and my writing challenge.
I challenged myself to write a post a day, every day for a year - starting on January 25th, 2022.
Mid-October, I thought to myself, "I know I've missed quite a few days, but I really hope I can make it to Day 300 by the end of the year. If I can only be two months off with writing, I'll be pretty happy about it."
And that would be with an end date of January 1st. But my challenge lasts through January 24th . . .
I debated whether to end that last thought with trailing punctuation or an exclamation point.
I'm glad that I'll have time to come even closer towards my goal of writing 365 days in a row - or close to it. But at the same time, it'll be nice not to feel compelled to write. Or to hear the misguided whisper of Hazey,
"you have to write or else you'll miss your post today and fail your whole challenge!"
Dude, Hazey - I get that you're trying to help me reach my goal and protect me from failure (all the while trying to cover up your fear of failure with extreme force), but - cool it!
Let's try a different approach.
Perhaps something along the lines of:
Reaching the goal we set for ourselves is really important to me! I want to better understand the coaching principles and techniques we've learned as we experience them in our own life. I want to practice sharing as we improve our writing skills.
Aw, gee, Hazey, why didn't you say it like that in the first place?!
We're on track to pass Day 300 by the end of the year. I think Hazey's going to be really excited when we reach 2023.
So if you missed it - this post is all about taking time to re-evaluate your goals and efforts. To check back in on:
- why you started them
- why they are important to you
- what you have already gained by the effort put in (regardless of the ultimate outcome)
It's all too easy to overlook the importance of goals.
Not in their achievement or completion, but in the lessons and growth gained along the way.
Tuesday, November 15, 2022
Day 270: Purgatory FastPass
Monday, November 14, 2022
Day 269: Religious Teachings
Sunday, November 13, 2022
Day 268: Priority Rank
Not only in the sense of understanding why the priority or want is important to the individual, but also in being honest about the assumptions and interpretations they are making about others.
Maybe you share your priorities and the other person still doesn't seem to support them. That's ok. They actually don't need to. Because they are your priorities. The only person needing to put them first is you.
Saturday, November 12, 2022
Day 267: The Social Mind
Friday, November 11, 2022
Day 266: Hooded Water Magician
North Pond!
https://www.metroparks.net/blog/birds-birds-everywhere-in-your-metro-parks/ |
I couldn't help but chuckle as a big smile spread across my face - and stayed there for the entirety of my walk.
Thursday, November 10, 2022
Day 265: Accept Compliments
On Day 37, I suggested we give meaningful compliments.
On Day 265, I am suggesting we openly accept compliments. Accept them and carry them with us.
This is not a 'showoff-y, narcissistic, ego-laden' type of thing.
This is a 'self-love, acknowledging-your-skills,-hard-work,-talent,-traits-or-qualities' type of thing.
This is a 'seeing-myself-as-I-really-am, is-this-really-true? whoa - I'm-awesome, why-does-my-brain-always-try-to-hide-this-from-me?' type of thing.
Does any of this seem familiar?
Because I experience it a lot - especially the last one.
Having my best qualities, skills, and talents acknowledged or praised by another always feels a bit uncomfortable. Instantly, I feel myself going on the defensive, 'they're just saying that to be nice.' For some reason, my brain won't allow me to believe that what they said is true.
I won't let myself believe it, because I don't think it's true.
Which, too often in my experience, results in me shrugging off whatever I've just been told and missing an opportunity to receive love and kindness from someone else. And likewise, missing an opportunity to deliver love and kindness to myself.
How many people can relate to that?
I certainly can. (Obviously, because I'm the one sharing! 😜)
As the saying goes, "we are our own worst critic."
And as the saying forgot to finish, "but we don't have to be."
We don't have to be our own worst critic.
We don't have to be a critic at all! Worst, least - the comparative doesn't matter!
What matters is kindness to ourselves.
If you're like me, and/or grew up in a westernized culture, being kind to yourself is probably a pretty big struggle. And, if you're even more like me, you don't even realize that you're being unkind in the first place!
Compliments give us a way to practice this missing kindness.
They give us an opportunity to challenge the biased way we view ourselves.
They give us an opportunity to take a look at ourselves with fresh eyes, from a new perspective, from someone else's truth.
When I was going through my coach training in 2020 one of the exercises we went through was on the topic of 'rules that we live by.' We explored how most of us have a lot of rules for ourselves, both recognized and unaware, that impact how we live and experience life. We were then encouraged to write up some new, empowering 'rules' for ourselves.
I recall that one of mine was, "I speak the beauty I see."
To me, that is what a compliment is.
If something moves you enough to comment on it - there is beauty [and truth] there.
Of course, different people have different tastes, and not all people will like all things. But they don't need to.
Ultimately, all that matters is what we think about ourselves. But, until we have the right lens to see ourselves as we really are - AWESOME - we can use the compliments of others to help us along the way.
Wednesday, November 9, 2022
Day 264: Being Nice
'I was just being nice.'
"Try to be nice."
'I thought you were nice.'
How many times have you thought or heard these statements - directed towards yourself or someone else?
I've heard them a LOT.
For 33 years.
And it's taken me 33 years to understand that 'being nice' is not something I need to do.
It might not even be a thing to strive for at all.
What does it mean to be 'nice,' anyway?
According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, nice (adjective) means:
1. Polite, kind
2. Pleasing, agreeable
3. Socially acceptable: well-bred, respectable
Do any of these stand out as potentially problematic to you?
It's possible none do.
But for a recovering people-pleaser, #2 is a slippery slope.
At least for me.
You see, it's a question of who the noun is pleasing or agreeable to that matters the most.
As one who has lived a life of 'being nice' and doing things I don't really want to do, but rather felt I should do, this is everything.
If you're anything like me, you associate 'being nice' with being a 'good person.'
So if you aren't 'nice' then you aren't a 'good person,' either.
In this all-or-nothing mindset, neutral doesn't exist.
It's polar opposites - only.
If you're not 'being nice,' then you're 'being mean.'
If you're not a 'good person,' then you're a 'bad person.'
Strangely enough, with this way of thinking, it's impossible to just be 'a person.'
It's impossible to just 'be.'
Here's the reality, if you don't do something that would be pleasing or agreeable for someone else, it doesn't automatically mean they will be displeased or upset as a result.
In most cases, it won't mean anything to the other person at all!
Their life will carry on in the same way it had before you were asked or had the thought to 'be nice.'
'Being nice' is often a scapegoat used to avoid [potential] feelings of discomfort, insecurity or lack.
Notice how I slipped the word, potential, in there?
That's because just the thought of feeling any sort of emotional discomfort is enough to change our actions. The fear of what might happen is stronger than we may realize.
We ok, I (I won't speak for everyone else), get so caught up in not wanting to 'hurt the other person's feelings,' that I hurt myself instead.
The hurt may not be registered as any type of pain, but it will absolutely show up as drain.
Energy drain.
This can manifest in different ways. A dip in mood, feeling more tired or less engaged, lack of patience or heightened frustration are a few examples of how you can tell if your energy is draining.
What I'm coming to learn is, we don't really do anyone any favors by doing what [we think] they want or doing what we think we should do.
That's not to say, be a jerk and only think about yourself.
It's also not to say that we should never do things we don't want to do in an effort to help others.
The key driving force of our actions should come from a genuine place; tapping into our core values.
Funny enough, this is always going to be a bit self-serving - but in the best way possible.
When we live out our values in real life, 9 times out of 10, we get a boost of energy which contributes to others being better off as well.
So next time you find yourself waffling back and forth over if you should 'be nice' or not, consider what your decision would be if you would remain 'nice' regardless of your choice, and go with that.
Tuesday, November 8, 2022
Day 263: Eclipse Election
I set my alarm for 4:50am this morning.
Not so I could be first in line at the voting polls (I already voted by mail - yay, me!) or because that's the time I normally get up, but so I could try to catch a glimpse of the Lunar Eclipse.
My hope was that, not only would I be able to see it, but I could stay inside and view it from my window. And wouldn't you know it - I could! (Let's hear it for west facing windows!!)
This eclipse was called a blood moon eclipse - and I get why. It had an eerie, red hue.
Upon gazing at it for a few moments, I couldn't help but wonder if this was some sort of blatant symbolism.
After all, it is election day, today; and in a time in which political opinions and parties are starkly divided. Rather than a bright, clear full moon before me, there was a dark, red full moon.
It seemed a bit ominous.
As real as the symbolism may or may not be, it's important to remember - especially in times of darkness or struggle - that nothing is permanent.
Everything has a cycle. A start and an end, and then another new beginning.
Just like fashion trends, hate it or love it.
And, like I shared a few days ago, we are always changing - even it if seems that it is the world changing, instead.
No matter the situation we find ourselves in, we always have a choice. A choice of how to think and a choice of what we focus on.
Do we want to focus on the things that fuel lack, despair, and hopelessness?
Or do we want to focus on those which fuel hope, energy, and passion?
That's not to say ignore all of the things that bring you down and pretend like they're not happening. But rather, try approaching things from a more empowered place in order to take in a new perspective.
Just as the moon holds beauty in any light, so does life.
But we have to choose to see the beauty.
We have to choose to see - the whole picture.
It is with openness and curiosity that we can find deeper meaning and appreciation for everything.
It bears repeating, no matter the situation we find ourselves in, we always have a choice.
Are you going to set the alarm in order to wake up and experience things for yourself?
Or are you going to sleep in and accept whatever 2nd/3rd/4th hand news that comes your way?
You get to decide.
Monday, November 7, 2022
Day 262: On Aging
But eventually, the flower will die.
Slowly losing its petals, one by one. Until all that remains is an empty stock.
We accept them.
We know that that is the lifespan and cycle of a flower.
We get to enjoy their beauty and fragrance, but it won't last forever. And we're okay with that.
And, unless I somehow missed this lesson, we were never explicitly taught how to appreciate the life we have, the people we are, or the people we were.
Sunday, November 6, 2022
Day 261: Squash Seed Roast
Remembering our fallen heroes.
"Why are we still in the fridge?! I'm ready to see some action, now! I'm ready!"
Especially, in heated times of pressure.
They were already fallen soldiers when I arrived.
Saturday, November 5, 2022
Day 260: World Change
I wasn't sure what to write today, so I thought I'd pick a quote and share some thoughts on it.
I went to the Quotes & Phrases note in my phone where I collect quotes and phrases that resonate with me.
This is what jumped out:
The world doesn't change, you change.
Wow.
That's a big one.
Do I really want to share my thoughts on this one . . . ?
On the micro level, I can easily get on board with this.
As one's view of, and relationship with, oneself changes, one's perception of the world will also reflect such changes.
But on the macro level it becomes a bit harder . . .
One could argue, "if the world doesn't change, then why are there things like crime, radical politics, and racism becoming more and more prevalent?"
My answer to this question (which, full disclosure, only formed as I was typing the question) would be:
Not all personal changes are for the better.
Furthermore, not all personal changes are intentional.
Think about the world in which we live. A world where the general population is not taught the importance of self-knowledge.
Sure, knowing history and math is important, but if we can't function and navigate life in our internal world, do these things really matter?
If we can't discern our own wants and needs from the pressures and rules our society creates and tries to place upon us, it's a safe bet we're going to struggle, eventually. And our communities will reflect this.
Take our current Social Media Epidemic - yeah, I'm going there.
Depression, anxiety, and feelings of 'otherness' and isolation are on the rise. Meanwhile, self-esteem, self-worth, and strong emotional connection are on the steep decline.
Change - of any kind - is an inside job.
Change - on any scale - starts on the individual level.
We are all agents of change - positive, negative, neutral.
When you really look at the act of change, there is only the micro.
Change is the raindrop in the pond. We are the raindrops.
The ripples are the effect - the macro - what's visible and reflected to others.
So yeah, I'm on board with this quote no matter how I look at it.
And I'm glad I was willing to explore it!
Friday, November 4, 2022
Day 259: School of Un-Learning
Especially, if you're raised as a girl (or minority).
. . . I wish there was a school you could go to 'un-learn' things."
Hard work that will never earn a certificate.
Thursday, November 3, 2022
Day 258: Force
Forcing things sucks.
It doesn't feel good and it's draining.
And yet we live in a world where forcing oneself to do things is the norm.
What the heck?!
That's messed up.
Can you imagine if flowers were forced to bloom before they were ready?
They would likely be washed out in color, odorless, and would prevent other plants from becoming pollinated.
Read that last part again: prevent other plants from becoming pollinated.
I don't know if this is actually what would happen if a flower were forced to bloom, but it's a great analogy for my actual point.
When we force things, we miss out on all of the benefits that can be gained from when they happen in their own time. And we're often less open to collaboration, unplanned learning opportunities, and patience. Thus, effectively closing off to and shutting down others and sending the message that it's not ok to step outside the narrow-viewed line.
When we allow people to live their lives according to their own timelines, there is way more pollen to go around. And it comes in the form of happiness, joy, fulfillment, openness, and generosity.
. . . to name a few.
What areas in your life are you trying to force?
And how's that working for ya?
Might be time to try out a new approach . . .
Don't know how? Let's talk!
Wednesday, November 2, 2022
Day 257: Ahh, not Ugh
The more awareness I gain of it, the more I see it touches - and to what (ever-growing) extent.
I know that there are people that live for years with burnout - or at least until they develop some sort of health issue and have to address it.
I don't want that!
It sounds miserable and I really don't want a miserable-feeling life!
[Ok, let's be real, this task was going to be pushed off for as long as possible, burnout or not!]
And then letting this be your guide.