What would high school have been like without:
- the Red Hot Chili Peppers CD stuck in your car?
- unending practice backing out of my parent's driveway?
- trips to Lincoln City to eat DQ blizzards in the parking lot?
Boring - that's what!
And what would life have been like without you, Kelsey?
Sad. And boring.
I'm so glad you were born and that we've been friends for so long.
Happy birthday!!!
In an attempt to refresh the fond and perhaps embarrassing moments we've shared together, here's a little birthday story for you. Told from the perspective of our main man -
Enjoy
**********************************
I've been different things to different people.
Most famously, 'a street rat' by palace guards and 'Prince Ali' by all who took in Genie's fanfare.
But my most important role is the least known - Kelsey's Ride or Die.
You may not know this, but I was a fixture of her many adventures during high school with her friends. There's a chance I may have lived in her car . . . . but it was by choice! Boy, did I love that red Ford Focus . . .
But you know what I love more than that car?
Kelsey Jordan
Why?
Um - have you met her?!
Please.
How could anyone NOT love her?!
Take the shrine she set up for her brother before having her annual New Year's Eve sleep over.
- what's that? It wasn't actually a shrine, but rather closely positioned candles and photos . . . of just her brother?
. . . oh.
Well, anyone could make that mistake. And, hey - I blame her friends. They were the ones that came up with the idea that it was a shrine! Those jerks . . .
I've never seen anyone handle a nacho fiasco quite like Kelsey.
Always keeping her cool.
Even when Sarah spilled the pan of nachos all over the open door of the hot oven as she attempted to put them in.
"Pick it up!! Hurry!!!" was the collectively yelled advice.
It's as if they thought the cheese was going to melt on the hot oven door or something.
I wouldn't know.
I'm not allowed to go near ovens, being plastic and all.
Kelsey is also an active supporter of senior citizen - ahem - community center events.
She is all about community!
Which is probably why she and her friends would frequent the senior "community" center for Wednesday night bingo.
That is until they started winning . . . and the old people kicked them out, claiming underage gambling.
But for some reason when they lost it was ok to be there . . .
My boo never lets anything keep her down! She just keeps strutting her stuff and walking it off.
Kind of like the time she and her friends were hanging out at the Higdon's house.
This woman has the confidence of a Goddess!
She walked right past all-minus-one of the Higdon men as she returned to the kitchen after using the bathroom, only to be informed that her dress was tucked into her underwear and she'd flashed half of her friend's family.
I'll say it again: CON-FI-DENCE
Seriously! This woman is the epitome of what it means to walk to the beat of your own drum.
And if that means walking around with your dress tucked into your underwear, more power to you!
Funny anecdotes aside, I've seen firsthand the kind and beautiful soul Kelsey is.
Her friends light up when she's around and never leave her presence without at least one good laugh.
She is supportive and loving, with just the right amount of sass and dark humor. As she and SoSa agree, 'if I'm mean to you that means I like you. It's if I'm always nice that you should be concerned!'
Here's to Kelsey! May this next trip around the sun be her best yet as she just gets better, wiser, and happier with time.
I will love you forever and am so proud of you!!!
Oh, and Sarah wanted me to say that she is, too.
Boy, oh boy, 'Laddie's tale had me giggling up a storm! 🤣
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