Day 35: Love's Many Forms

As I was waking up one morning the idea that I will continuously experience love differently, came to me.

This was a really interesting thought and gave me pause. 

Does this mean, that there is no blueprint for how love is supposed to feel and look??
Will the experience take a new route requiring new navigation tools EVERY time?!

I think the answer is yes, and here's why. In every stage and phase of life, love will take a somewhat new form and feeling. At every new stage you arrive and every new phase you enter, growth has occurred to get you there.
This has a lot to do with two major factors:

1) One's sense of self-worth and fulfillment
2) One's level of judgement and perspective through which they view life

These factors are constantly evolving, just as we are constantly evolving. That's why people change.

The rate of that evolution, however, is up to us. 

I don't know about you, but I can honestly say in my early relationships that my sense of self-worth and fulfillment weren't the strongest. And even if I didn't know how things 'should' be or feel, I was certain I knew how they 'shouldn't'. I was judgemental! Mostly in regards to my circumstances but I'd judge people's actions or behaviors, too. Specifically when they didn't align with what I thought was appropriate or  the 'right' way.

This left me feeling high-highs - getting my worth from someone other than myself - and low-lows - judging situations and people to the extent that I was never satisfied or truly fulfilled.

How drastically different my experiences would have been had I known what was actually happening! 

Flash forward to now. I've gained way more awareness of my actions and function from a much higher level of self-worth and moderately lower level of judgement [this will always be a work in progress].

Being at these different levels changes a lot of things - even reflecting on past relationships! I can now see a different picture and prominent pieces that I was blind to at the time. 

Feelings of love change because we change. When we move from a place of lack and feeling we need love from another person to a place of equilibrium where we can share love with another person, the way we experience life will shift.

And since no change happens in just one step, we'll be able to observe how we experience love differently every step of the way.

Day 34: Ingredients of a 'Sarah Story'

If you know me, there's a good chance at some point in our relationship you've heard me tell a story. And if you know me well you've likely been delighted with (or subjected to, depending on your perspective) a classic 'Sarah Story.'

What is a Sarah Story, you ask? It's a unique experience! It can be described very differently, depending on who you talk to. And, equally depending on the listener, one's level of enjoyment can vary - a lot.

I remember at my high school graduation I had to give a speech. What the heck am I going to talk about? How do I avoid falling into the trap of sounding cliche?! 

Simple, I use my signature story-telling style.

Such a style, when used to tell any story, will leave the listeners quickly asking, "huh?", "is there a point to this?" 

And then, just when they think they can't bear it anymore, the moral of the story comes into play! And that's where it all starts to make sense.

Components of a 'Sarah Story'

• Ambiguous content relevance
• Way too many details
• Humor you may not yet have acquired a taste for
• Heart-felt morals
• Drawn out journey told with enthusiasm

It wasn't until consciously breaking down the 'Sarah Story,' that I realized the uncanny parallel and symbolism it holds to life, in general.

We don't know what is coming next. We can find ourselves in circumstances and situations that we can't make sense of. 

And yet, we keep going. 

We endure. 

And when we are open to learning as we go - to hearing, say, the details of how a 'sometimes dumb middle school kid (who may or may not have been me) put herself in physical pain by eating too much at a family BBQ because she was following what her sisters were doing, rather than deciding what was right for herself' - we can pick up some very important, very relevant lessons for our own lives.

Day 33: Appreciation

I was at a friend's new apartment recently and he mentioned he has a glass that he just can't get clean. 

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because my hand doesn't fit inside so I can't reach the bottom, really."

"Why don't you just get a bottle brush, then? That way you can reach the bottom."

* * * * * * * * *

This conversation got me thinking . . .

Boy, am I thankful that I don't have that problem! Come to think of it, I've come across very few [kitchen] items that I can't squeeze my hand into in order to properly clean them . . .

uh-oh!

Just kidding!

I really appreciate the size of my hands.

They may not be able to hold as much as others but they can do a whole heck of a lot!

Sometimes it takes seeing the struggles of others to help us appreciate what we have and our own abilities.

When was the last time you took stock of the parts of yourself (physically or mentally) that help you everyday?

Day 32: Hairy Surprise

Over the past handful of years, I've gotten into the habit of waxing my armpits (rather than shaving). 

I can thank my sister for this, and our weird habit of copying one another in random areas.

I've grown quite fond of this method of hair removal due to it's many benefits. In my opinion, it's quicker and cleaner (I use wax strips - so no tiny hairs falling or wax dripping everywhere). It lasts much longer than shaving. And best of all, over time the hair starts to grow in softer and finer, making it much less noticeable!

This last point, however, comes at a price . . . 

Flashback to earlier this week

I was getting ready for bed and was in the bathroom, flossing and brushing my teeth and face. I looked in the mirror and a thought occurred to me, 'I think it's been a while since I waxed my pits...'

Curious, I lifted my arm and looked in the mirror.

WHOA!!! 

Apparently it HAD been a while since I'd waxed my pits. The hairs - as thin, soft, and sparse as they now were - were Really long. I don't think I've ever seen them at such a length before.

Another thought then entered my brain - my outfit of choice this morning . . .

'. . . I'm so glad I wore a sleeveless shirt today . . .'

 

Day 31: Meatloaf, Anyone?

Cooking adventure - Turkey Zucchini Meatloaf with Feta cheese

I have made this in the past and remembered it being quite good. So when I pulled out the pound of ground turkey I had in the freezer, I knew just what to make!

The only thing was . . . I only had half of the called for ground turkey.

Ok, a half-recipe it is! No, problem I'll just make a smaller batch.

Oh, I need marinara sauce? I have some old runny salsa in the back of the fridge . . . I wonder if that will work? Trying it!

I whipped up the recipe and placed it on my pan, trying to shape it into loaf. This proved difficult. 

It was a lot . . . juicier than I remember . . . 

I did my best and shaped my meatloaf into the best looking melty flattened loaf I could. Then I popped it into the oven!

Wait, this is supposed to bake for an hour?! I have to be somewhere in 40 min!

...hmm, half batch . . . half cooking time!

I checked the loaf after my timer went off, about 10 minutes before I had to leave. The recipe said it was done when the internal temp reached 160 degrees.

. . . not quite there. I guess I'll just turn off the oven and leave it in there. It should be fine and fully cooked by the time I return.

When I got home - and after I remembered about the loaf in the oven, I pulled out this beauty.

Now, who's hungry?!?!

Day 30: Loaded Question

This morning I was doing a guided meditation video and a thought came into my head. It was a memory of a time, years ago, when I went out with a guy I had been dating for a short while.

We started having a conversation about why we were all here and I shared that I believed we all have a purpose. Whether or not that purpose is ever fostered and carried out is another story, but each of us is important to the world at large and plays a role that no one else can.

Then I asked my date, "do you think that everyone has a purpose?"

He responded, "no, I don't think so."

I instantly started crying. 

It was like a smack in the face hearing that this person I was getting to know didn't share a foundational belief I held about humanity.

Talk about a loaded question! Poor, guy, he didn't know what to do - other than look panicked.

This memory has always stood out to me. It illustrates just how strongly I hold this particular belief and alludes to my core values. It demonstrates the perspective and default level/perspective/mindset I operate from.

There are also a lot of things that can be learned from it, such as:
-  specifics I'm looking for in a partner
-  the need to practice non-judgement [of others for having different beliefs]
-  the importance of unloading questions to help other participants better navigate topics that I hold dear
-  not placing expectations on others for what I want (now or in the future)

This last point of learning is the most prominent for me to remember. 

Throughout my life I've struggled greatly with feelings of disappointment, sadness, or hurt when the things I hoped for and expected didn't turn out the way I envisioned - or anticipated. This was a sure way for communication breakdowns, misunderstandings and a lot of unneeded friction.

It wasn't until after I went through coach training that I learned this was all happening because I was placing my expectations on things outside of myself. I can only control me - ever. I am in charge of the thoughts I think. I am in charge of the things I feel. And I am in charge of how I respond to the people and situations around me.

So, it would reason to think setting expectations for myself about how I want to think, feel and interpret outside information would make an impact into the amount of disappointment and judgement I experience.

Let me tell you, this is a big learning curve for me.
It's a concept I'm not even close to mastering.
But this is one mountain I'm determined to climb to the top!

Day 29: Sing! . . . Don't Sing

I haven't ever seen the animated movie Sing!, but much of the music from it keeps playing on my Encanto Pandora station.

Side note - I CANNOT wait for the news that Encanto will be turned into a Broadway show. I can picture it now and it is AMAZING! So many colors! So many flowy skirts to swing around!
Please, Musical Gods, make. this. happen.

So back to Sing! . . . I can't say I love hearing the songs - as just songs. As in, hearing them outside of the movie - that I still haven't seen.

Why, you ask??

Because from what I heard, Sing! is the celebrity version of KidzBop.

As much as I dislike hearing children singing pop songs filled with inappropriate content in their high angelic voices, I don't much care to hear celebrity covers either.

Both, to me, are jarring when you realize what the song is, but can't get the notion out of your head that it sounds so 'wrong'.

Call me judgemental, but . . . Yeah, go ahead and call me judgemental.

This is a topic where I've chose to place judgment. Why? Because it fills me with twisted delight. 

Because if you can't find the humor in life, are you really living?

Day 28: That's not mine

Hair is apparently the theme for the start of this week.

I used to have quite long hair. Now it's much shorter. 

But that doesn't explain this hair that I found . . .

It's either cat/dog/pet hair . . . or the thinnest porcupine quill I have ever seen . . . (and the softest and most flexible . . .)

I suppose there is a slim chance it may have come from my coat . . . 

But I don't know, the coloring just doesn't look right . . .

I guess this leaves me with one choice - a stake out! Naturally, the critter is coming into my apartment while I sleep and dropping singular hairs on the carpet. There's simply no other explanation . . .

Day 27: Hair New in Year 22

I got a pretty big chop this weekend. 

After running around with long strands that just hang there all the time - and annoy me when I'm trying to go to sleep - it was time to change things up.

I went to the salon an hour early - at their request.

Oh boy, it's getting real. I'm starting to feel a little nervous . . . 

"Sarah?" My stylist calls my name and waves me over to her chair. "What are we doing today?"

I tell her I want to cut my hair short and motion around chin length.

Her eyes get VERY big. She quickly recovers herself and follows up with, "..have you been thinking about this for a while?"

Now, I'm starting to feel the stomach jitters - "Do you think it will look bad?!"

"No, it's just such a drastic change. I wanted to make sure it was something you've been considering so you're not shocked."

"Oh. Yeah, I've been thinking about it for a while," I assured her. 

I debated if I should tell her that I'd been considering an even shorter haircut for a longer period of time, but I decided against it. She didn't need to hear about my baby steps thought process. Though that's exactly what this is, a baby step.

Once that got cleared up it was smooth sailing. 

As soon as I saw the length literally fall away from my head, I felt a smile spread across my face. Not that anyone could see it because I was wearing a mask, but still.

Doing what you want feels good. 

Day 26: Enjoy the transitions

My family is spread out across the country. So, if I travel domestically, it is almost always for the purpose of visiting someone I know. And even more specifically, dropping into their world as quickly as possible because 'time is finite and time together is even more limited.'

Sheesh, there's a limiting belief!  

Why is the idea that 'time is finite and time together is even more limited' a limiting belief? [Despite containing the same word]
Because it:
- inhibits my ability to experience life fully
- focuses on lack and scarcity
- prevents me from even considering that there might be other ways to view traveling to see family

I bring all of this up because, in my conscious investigation of where my thoughts actually come from, I discovered the even deeper rooted core belief of "you can't really enjoy a trip until you reach the destination."

I think this idea is something everyone can relate to. Have you ever heard the saying, "Life is about the journey, not the destination"?

Mostly likely you have.

But have you really, honestly believed that for your own life? 

Take ANY life category - work, health, relationships, etc. Have you ever fully bought in to the idea that the time, process, and learning that occurs as you're:
- working hard on that stressful project at your job
- building up that new fitness routine
- trying to find a good match for yourself through dating
or countless other examples, is MORE important than the achievement itself? 

Is the struggle to complete the project more valuable than a job well done?
Is the effort to create a new habit and lifestyle more valuable than the habitual routine and transformed physique?
Is the experience of meeting new people and being vulnerable more valuable than the established committed relationship?

That's tough to say, because it depends entirely on your perspective. There is no 'right way' to think about or approach life. But there is a way that works and feels best for all of us, individually.

For me, I think I'd like to work on some perspective shifts so I can enjoy the journeys and transitions I encounter in life more. Starting with something small, like the way I view traveling to visit family.

What if I gave myself permission to turn off autopilot so I could actually take in and, dare I say it - enjoy, the process of traveling to a different location?

It think a lot might change for me; experiencing way less stress, being the most obvious.

There's definitely value in practicing this - checking yourself and how you are perceiving the transitions in life. The good stuff isn't reserved only for accomplishments and destinations, it can be found everywhere.

Day 25: Focus on how you Want to feel

I had a coaching session with a client recently where we touched on the idea that each of us has the ability to decide how we feel. We discussed a situation in which my client was feeling not great. Then dissected it into the thoughts that accompanied the feeling, as well as the actions (or lack thereof), that resulted from it.

I recall having asked her "how do you want to feel?"

From there we explored what types of thoughts would likely cozy up to her desired feelings and, as a result of that combination, what potential actions or outcomes might be.

Reflecting back on this coaching call it took me a while to fully grasp the power of that question. In the moment, it seemed like the best question to ask. But the more I thought about it, after the fact, the more in awe I became.

There's a quote that goes something along the lines of "what you focus on expands." So it would make sense that if you are focusing on things that you don't like or don't want to feel, that you would feel them even more or for a longer period of time. Or, at the very least, you would have a much harder time identifying other options or feelings available to you in the moment.

If this is true, why not focus on what it is that you want rather than what you want to avoid? If focusing on the way you want to feel or the results you want to achieve, by its very nature, will help reveal the thoughts and emotions needed to get you there, why wouldn't you?! If what we focus on expands, why wouldn't we focus on the things we want?

Just something to consider. Should you feel compelled, maybe try it out for yourself. Next time you find yourself focusing on something you deem "bad,"challenge yourself to think about what would make the situation "good"? How does that change in perspective feel? What sort of thoughts accompany it?

Day 24: Affordable Housing

Dave Chappel said he wouldn't support a change to the original development plan he invested in to now include duplexes and townhomes for affordable housing. 

But did see the proposed VISION?!

Day 23: High School Quote

I was listening to a podcast this morning where the host mentioned looking back at their high school yearbook. Specifically, their senior photo page. 

It made me think about mine, and how the quote that I chose, at the time, seemed very random (which is precisely why I chose it). It was this: 

"On the other hand, you have other fingers." 

Super random and, I think, completely made up. What I mean by that is, I'm 99% positive I found the quote in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants book.

I bring this up because I started thinking about the quote itself. As random as it seems, it is totally true - on the other hand, we have other fingers. Which, now in my current life and mindset, I definitely take to mean:  

'We always have choices'. 

 

It might not seem that the choices we have are great, but they are still choices nonetheless. Oftentimes, many of the choices we have available to us are so overlooked that we don't even realize they are there. For example, we have a whole other hand of fingers, but do we ever really think about them?

Who would have thought fingers would ever represent choices in life? Not me! But I sure am glad I made this connection. 

 

Maybe next time I find myself needing to make a decision and having a difficult time, I can remember to look at my hands. Who knows, maybe it'll spark some inspiration.

 

. . . kinda like Christmas magic . . . (if you don't get it, it's ok)

 

 

Day 22: If you think you can, you can

I was thinking about a coach training program I did last year. 

One of the exercises we did during that training was a visualization exercise. This particular activity was meant to demonstrate that we each hold knowledge deep inside of us, that we don't even know is there. 

Our instructor started off having us all close our eyes, quickly followed by a centering/grounding exercise. Then, we started visioning. 

Verbally, our trainer led us through a visualization exercise in which we were to meet our future selves. And by future selves I mean, like, as old people, to gain wisdom and guidance.  

I was skeptical if it would work. I hadn't had a ton of luck with visioning exercises in the past, but I was willing to try. It sounded cool! 

We began by envisioning what our house looks like. We were supposed to note if anyone else was there, what the surrounding environment was like. Is there green space? Is it a house? Condo? Apartment? Hut? Tent? what have you. 

So we see what the scene looks like and then we meet our way distant future self. We start to see ourselves - so for me it felt like this: 

"Oh hi Sarah - hi me . . . nice to 'meet you' sort of? Great to see you... this is weird. I'm kind of excited and also kind of nervous and confused . . ." 

And then we are supposed to go off to a private, quiet space so that we can talk to each other.

I am able to sort of see Future Old Me, not super clear - but enough, as well as pretty clearly see where we go. I live in a house and there is a lot of yard around it and a garden area, I think. We go to talk by ourselves and end up sitting in a gazebo in the backyard. That was pretty cool. 

The main thing I remember from our 'conversation' is elderly Future Sarah holding out her hand to give me something. I open my palm and on it she places a little trinket. As I take a closer look I see it is a very small charm/pendant thing, like you would put on a necklace. 

It is in the shape of a train engine. I see the train and, after a beat to process and take in the shape I'm seeing, I hear the words (though neither her nor I said them): 

"if you think you can, you can"

 

This immediately made me think of my nephews and niece. They absolutely love trains. And from there, the book, The Little Engine That Could, came to mind. 

If you know the story, the little engine, throughout the whole book, keeps telling himself "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can." 

He's trying to pull a train to the top of a hill, well, trying to get over a hill so he can pull his cargo back to the train station. He's struggling the whole time but he keeps telling himself that he can do it.
And he does!

Seeing that train engine pendant in my hand and hearing those words "if you think you can, you can" was definitely a confirmation that we can do whatever we want. We just have to want it enough.

And we have to believe in ourselves.

Day 21: Use Your Words

Having a twin is awesome - always having someone to hang out with, do things with and who understands you better than anyone else. The intense connection, be it a unique bond from our split egg or just spending 18 years of too much time together, is one that can't be replicated. 

And yet I have found myself  trying to do so time and time again. This can lead to issues down the road. And, in my experience, these issues are most often manifested in relationships, almost exclusively in the area of communication.

Growing up I never had to explain myself much. I cried a LOT. I was weirdly imaginative with a lot of interests. And my twin sister was right there along with me for all of it - every. single. second. The result of this (aside from near constant bickering that drove our mom crazy) was a familiarity so strong that neither of us ever really had to verbalize what we were feeling or our needs/wants because the other 'just knew.' It was amazing and it made my childhood incredible, but it came at a price. A price that wasn't charged until adolescence faded away and adulthood took the forefront. I had to learn to use my words and my voice to actually express what I wanted, needed, and felt. I had to learn skills as an adult that many people had a handle on a long time ago.

I guess I should really say I NEED to learn skills, not HAD TO. Let's be real, even though I was writing in past tense this is a very current learning curve I'm working on and not projected to master anytime soon.  

As uncomfortable as it can sometimes be to ask for help or express your wants or needs, there's a power that starts to grow from it. Some may call this 'empowerment,' 'self-advocacy,' or 'assertiveness.' I believe these are all true, and can be found under the larger umbrella of 'self-knowledge'; getting to know yourself better. 

This is the only umbrella I know of to generate it's own precipitation.

Maybe getting caught in the rain isn't such a bad thing . . . 

Day 20: Brush Time

My 5 year old niece once shared with me her displeasure of having to brush her teeth for two WHOLE minutes. Her toothbrush had a timer.

"Yeah, that's a bummer."

It was much too easy to slide to the thought of, 'man, this kid doesn't like brushing her teeth.' But then I started to really think about it . . . 

I don't brush my teeth for two minutes, which I was quickly called out for after sending the little people the video below.

But, I also brush much more vigorously than the average bear (note: this is real-time speed - with charcoal toothpaste).

Not long ago I switched to a new toothbrush and I noticed something. I now needed to brush for noticeably longer than I used to.

Huh? What's going on??

Were my teeth just dirtier these days? 

Had my brushing speed slowed significantly? 

Was I just doing a more thorough job, now?

As someone who's clocked in nearly 400 hours of brushing time in my lifetime, it didn't seem likely these possibilities were the culprit.

The brush itself, on the other hand, was a different story. I quickly compared the size of my new brush to that of the old brush type - BINGO!

 

My new brush head was significantly smaller! No wonder it was taking me longer to brush - there was less surface area to work with! Alas, the mystery was solved.

I now had more compassion for my niece. She's working with a pretty small brush . . . and for the purposes of this commiseration, we'll forget about the fact that her mouth and teeth are smaller, too.

Day 19: Game-time Cravings

 

Day 18: Post Mortem Coffee Break

The spooky cemetery trilogy concludes with a snack.

It was a big day. I was trying something for the very first time. Something seemingly normal that would create fond memories and bad habits for years to come!

It wasn't planned. It was completely spontaneous. Thinking back, I really can't remember how my friend, Josh, and I came to find ourselves in the Dunkin' Donuts parking lot that early autumn day. But somehow, there we were. 

After a much too detailed and philosophical discussion about the establishment's name, we decided the only logical next move would be to carry out the namesake action.

I was about to. . . dunk donuts IN coffee!

It took 23 years for me to reach this pivotal milestone, and my taste buds would never be the same.

 

We entered the store and after a short interrogation of my friend as to what the best donuts for dunking were, we purchased our supplies.

Step one: Get donuts and coffee - DONE!

Step two: Find the perfect inaugural dunking location

This second step was a little trickier . . .

In the store?
No. 

In the car??
Nope. 

In that park over there that appears to be fenced in on all sides with no entrance?
Perfect!

We walked the fence looking for a gate. It was hard to find. Honestly, I can't really remember if we climbed over the fence in a low degraded spot or if we did, indeed, find an entrance to the park. Regardless, we made it in and bee-lined to the perfect spot we'd been eyeing from the other side, a nice clean bench.

In our determined focus to find a way to get to the bench, we may have overlooked a few things about it's surroundings . . . 

Like all of the headstones . . . because it wasn't a park at all, it was a cemetery! (Which, as I reflect back, was oddly on trend for me in early adulthood.)

As, we took in the reality of our location, our eyes met . . .

'Eh.' 

With a synchronized shrug of the shoulders we sat down and enjoyed our treats.

I don't know if it was the magic of the cemetery or the excitement of a new experience, but that was a moment that changed my snacking game forever.

 . . . I think it was definitely the cemetery magic, with deceased donut-lovers enhancing the mood . . . 

 "You're gonna love it!"

"Enjoy it extra for me, Sarah!"

Day 17: Missing Turtle

In my second year of living in Chicago, I discovered that my dwelling, once again, was located near a giant cemetery. My roommate, who had grown up in the neighborhood, told me about it. And boy did she give a great review!

"The cemetery is really pretty! It's huge - and there are several large ponds. It's really beautiful and peaceful there."

I needed no further convincing.

My older sister was coming into town for a brief visit, what better bonding activity than exploring an estate housing hundreds of dead people?! Having known me my whole life, such a suggestion sparked hardly any reaction from her, "cool, let's do it. I've never been there before."

So my sister and I, along with my best friend Josh, set out to explore this magnificent cemetery.

As we neared the entrance we spotted what looked like a missing poster, attached to a pole on the side of the road. Upon closer investigation, we saw it was indeed a missing poster, but not the kind we anticipated.

"Oohh, that's so sad!" we collectively murmured, each imagining the child the turtle must belong to.

The cemetery was now directly in front of us - and it looked Beautiful! We eagerly entered, looking everywhere to make sure we didn't miss anything (at least I did). 

We'd only walked a short distance when we all stopped in our tracks. We could see the first pond just up ahead, which may have made our discovery all the more sad.

On the ground before us we saw a turtle shell, an empty turtle shell.

 

Immediately our minds went to the Missing poster we saw on our way in . . .

 

 

   . . . I think we found the missing turtle . . .

Day 16: Trapped

And now, part one of a three-part spooky series . . .

In the first year that I lived in Chicago I sublet an apartment near a large cemetery. Actually, now that I think about it, I've lived near cemeteries on several occasions . . .

Anywho, I would always pass by on my way to work. In the spring and summertime it always looked so beautiful inside with the lush green grass, blooming flowers, and sun warmly shining. 

One particular afternoon, I was so taken with beauty of the day I took note of the open hours posted on the gate. 

"I'm going to come back and take a nice stroll through, sometime." 

Mere days later, I did! It was close to 3pm when I passed through the open gates, noting my fast approaching time restriction. 'I'll just make it a short walk,' I thought to myself.

As I explored the cemetery I took in all of the headstones, drawn to the largest and oldest looking. It was pretty cool to see what the oldest date I could find was, and observe the most popular names of times past. My wandering took me deep into the property. "Whoa, this place is bigger than I thought!"

Time check - 3:30pm

 "Better start heading back so I'm out before it closes." I began walking back, still taking in all of the plots as I pass. Ooh, this one has nice flowers. Wow, that one looks like it hasn't been visited in decades.

 After a short time, I see a grounds truck pass by on the nearby service road.

"Uh-oh, I'd better hurry." I kick my walking speed up several notches and focus solely on getting to the exit. As I get closer and closer my stomach starts to tighten, the gate isn't open anymore . . .

And I can't see the truck anywhere!

I follow the path around a few more turns, the entrance gate finally coming into full view.

It is definitely closed.

Panic starts to creep up. "What the heck?!" I check my watch - 3:47pm. "It's not even 4 o'clock yet! Did that guy seriously lock me in?!!" 

I walked a few paces more and the truck finally came into view, no longer hidden behind the building at the entrance.

The truck door opened.  "I was waiting for you!" the groundskeeper called out cheerfully.

WHEW. I felt a wave of relief wash over me. I wasn't going to have to climb the fence to try to escape!

And with that, he opened the gate and I exited the cemetery, back to the land of the living.

Day 15: Coffee & Donuts

The idea that coffee and donuts go together was seared into my brain when I was a small child. It's doesn't matter that this pairing came solely from media, facts are facts regardless of where they come from!
[We'll leave this notion to be addressed at a different time.]

Having no first hand experience (or second or third hand, for that matter) with this legendary combination, you can imagine my thrill when I witnessed it for the first time. Or should I say, when I witnessed another person witnessing it for the first time.

It was 2011 and I was inside a Dunkin' Donuts/Baskin Robbins shop, enjoying some ice cream with a friend. A family comes in - mom, dad, kid - and orders, then sits down to wait for their items. 

Moments later, a police officer walks in and goes to the counter to place his order.

"Hi, can I get two chocolate glazed donuts and a large coffee?"

'OH MY GOSH!!' 

The dad exclaims as he hops out of his seat. 'You're a cop - and you're ordering coffee and donuts!' 

 

 

The real-life fulfillment of a media stereotype was almost too much for the dad to take. He could not believe what he was seeing in front of him  - and neither could I!!!

Day 14: Half Baked

One evening I was talking to my sister on the phone and she told me she was about to enjoy a half baked pie and ice cream.

Mmm, yummy! But . . . why didn't she want to eat a fully baked pie . . . ?

No! Not a half-baked pie!!

HALF OF a baked pie!

My oh my - some things really get lost in translation. Use incorrect grammar or punctuation and the thought takes on a whole different meaning!

Don't believe me? Just ask the Grandpa with the cannibalistic family.

[Let's eat, Grandpa! Let's eat Grandpa!!!]

Day 13: Cupid Sighting

SPOTTED - Cupid on the Broadway bus.

 

Watch out ladies and gents, this not so chubby cherub is getting to work early this year! And I wasn't the only one who noticed - note the other phones documenting.

Seems a little strange that he'd choose to ride the CTA over flying . . . but it is winter in Chicago. I guess that also explains the red sweatsuit . . .

He fluttered off the bus, scattering Love Dust as he went. Right after, the bus stopped to pick up a woman in a motorized wheelchair . . . who immediately got stuck in the snow on the sidewalk trying to get to the bus door. It took the bus driver and 3 other passersby to get her unstuck and lifted onto the bus.

Moral of the ride: Love is Everywhere . . . ?

Day 12: Gyoza Knows Best

While quickly preparing some frozen gyoza and thinking about the resistance I have towards using social media for my coaching business, I had an important realization. 

I feel resistance and negative judgement towards it because . . . I don't really understand how to use it!

When was I born, 1920?! 

. . . I guess it's just never been a strong interest in my life.

 
As I looked down I spotted a giant 'S' on the plate. I viewed it as if it were my superhero symbol, confirming my next steps and future success.

Ok, I can learn whatever I need! Now, time to eat!

Well. . . eventually. Those suckers got really firm in the microwave and refused to release the paper towel.

I guess gyozas just be like that. 

....but I think that's normal, there's no way I could have done anything wrong ......

Day 11: Haircut

I've been thinking about getting a haircut, lately. Like, chopping my moderately-long hair all off with a short cut.

Yeah but, why does she slick her hair back EVERY day, though?

I was so tickled by the thought of getting a short haircut and slicking it back as my styling choice (once, let alone every day), that I was compelled to capture it. 

. . . Perhaps it's something to consider . . . I think I'll have to work up to it, though. Maybe starting with a bob . . .

Day 10: Choose Yourself

I'm coming to find that one of the bravest acts we can take on a day to day basis is choosing ourselves.

Now, I'm not talking about the "I've been waiting the longest at the bus stop so I should get on first!" kind of mentality. 

There's no entitlement involved with the choice I'm referring to. But rather, consideration - of everyone - through the prioritization of ourselves.

Prioritize 'ME' to strengthen the 'WE'.

When we really pay attention to what feels best, works best, sounds best for US to function as individual beings - and honor that - everybody wins.

Because when you you feel good, you do good. And when you do good the world becomes better.

So make sure YOU feel good. Listen to yourself, your body, your intuition and honor what it tells you - even if it means saying 'no' to others at times. 

The ultimate outcome of prioritizing yourself will ALWAYS far surpass that of putting yourself and your needs last.

Day 9: The Ease-y Life

I like the saying, 'Life is an inside job.' 

I take this to mean that how your life goes is up to you. 

You get to call the shots, you get to decide if you want the 'hook-ups' of an easy life - excuse me, I meant an ease-y life.

The Merriam Webster Dictionary tells us that for something to be 'easy' it:
     : causes or involves little difficulty or discomfort
     : requires or indicates little effort, thought, or reflection

So an 'easy life' would be one where nothing was challenging or unexpected and you never had to try, think, or reflect on the past. For some that might sound like a dream. But for me, that sounds like a boring and unfulfilling life.

This is probably because my view of an easy life, uses a different definition - and spelling.  

My ease-y life is built upon the 2nd definition of 'easy,' again, from the Merrian Webster Dictionary.
      : without undue speed or excitement 
      : without worry or care

Imagine a slower life. Not in the sense of boring and physically slow, but rather in the way you think and feel about things. There is rarely a flurry of anxious thoughts during times of change or friction. Nor is there a trail of hurried decisions. Moments of indecision are met with patience and curiosity. Emotions are deliberate, never rushed, and always welcomed - positive, negative, and neutral. Pressure and stress are rare visitors and confidence and belief in oneself is the norm.

What would would it be like to live in this world??! 

 

What would change for you?

 

I think I'm beginning to find out . . . 

 

Over the past six months I've been doing a lot of work getting to know myself better. So far, these are my biggest gains:

• I'm becoming more and more aware of my thoughts everyday and how they affect my emotions and actions. 
• I'm unearthing a LOT of horrifying (to me) beliefs I didn't even know I had, and THANK GOODNESS! Because now that I'm aware of them I can change them!
• I'm MUCH less prone to falling victim to my emotions (and I've always been a very sensitive person!)
• I'm better able to catch and disassemble my people-pleasing tendencies
  
• I'm more confident in my skills, abilities, and in myself as a human
• I've experienced a notable decline in my caring of what others think [of me] 
• I'm choosing and prioritizing myself fully for the first time in my life - and LOVING my time by myself. Guess what? You know that feeling you have when you're out with friends or on a date and having a wonderful time and don't want the night to end? You can have that same feeling with YOURSELF. I know because I've experienced it firsthand, and let me tell you - it's awesome!!!
• I feel the happiest I have ever felt in my life. Which seems crazy, and kind of sad to say (because it illuminates how unhappy I really was in previous periods of life). But it's also incredibly exciting because I know life is only going to get BETTER! 

If this is just the entry way of The Ease-y Life, I cannot wait until I'm fully in it.  Sarah's World has officially leveled up. Come join me in The Ease-y Life, you won't regret it.

Wait, what's that adorable little stick figure person? How do you join me in The Ease-y Life? Well that's simple - it all starts with coaching! Start HERE.

 

Day 8: Self-Care Ssssss-anyday!

 Some days ya gotta just do the things that will make you feel good! Whether good in the moment or after the fact. That's what I did, as seen documented below.

Twas the middle of the day on a weekend not long ago. I thought to myself: 

'Boy are my feet looking ROUGH!!' (quite literally).
'Maybe I'll give 'em a nice soak and file 'em down . . . and maybe I'll even paint my toes . . . oh, and I could to a face mask, too!'

My excitement began to grow. 

At first it was fueled by the after-result I could expect, re-energized and smooth feet. But as the process began, a different type of pleasure began to take hold. Starting with putting on the face mask.

 I don't know about you, but I always find sheet masks so soul-tickling. Who wouldn't want to see what they look like with a white mustache and beard and gray eyebrows?! I couldn't help but giggle.

Next up, my tootsies. The warmth of the water felt so nice as I placed my feet in, swishing them around. I'm glad they got to hang out in their bath for a while, because I needed that time to muster up the mental strength for what was about to come next. Rubbing them down with my pumice stone.  

I didn't want to do it. It's a lot of extra effort (to me) and it's not super enjoyable. And yet - once I got started I gained a great sense of satisfaction and happiness for doing something nice and nurturing for myself.

I don't know about you, but I find I am way less gentle, compassionate, and caring towards myself than I am towards others. 

Why???

It seems odd when I really think about it. I have this ONE body to last me my entire life!* I can't trade it in for a new model like a car. I can't build on an extension like with a house. I just have this vessel - and boy is it important!

Caring for ourselves doesn't just mean taking care of the physical body (though we should all probably give our feet, in particular, a lot more love than we currently do). It also means taking care of our emotional self, mental self, and spiritual self (whatever that means to you). All of these pieces are connected and if one area is struggling it will eventually show up in all of the others.

I'm going to make a conscious effort to be more caring towards myself on a regular basis, and I hope you will join me. 

Maybe we start small and tell ourselves one thing we appreciate about ourselves as we look at our flawless bedhead in the mirror each morning.

Or perhaps we pause for a deep breath and give ourselves a quick - or long - tight hug each afternoon.

Who knows, maybe we even try out watching, listening, or reading something each day or week that makes us feel good and uplifted?!

Self-care is fluid, there's no one way to do it - or a right way to do it. The main thing is it feels good to you in your mind, body, and soul. If you're alive right now, you deserve to care for yourself. What's stopping you?

*Concept credit to the incredible Elsa Fouquette, my good friend and future old lady motivational speaker partner