Day 21: Use Your Words

Having a twin is awesome - always having someone to hang out with, do things with and who understands you better than anyone else. The intense connection, be it a unique bond from our split egg or just spending 18 years of too much time together, is one that can't be replicated. 

And yet I have found myself  trying to do so time and time again. This can lead to issues down the road. And, in my experience, these issues are most often manifested in relationships, almost exclusively in the area of communication.

Growing up I never had to explain myself much. I cried a LOT. I was weirdly imaginative with a lot of interests. And my twin sister was right there along with me for all of it - every. single. second. The result of this (aside from near constant bickering that drove our mom crazy) was a familiarity so strong that neither of us ever really had to verbalize what we were feeling or our needs/wants because the other 'just knew.' It was amazing and it made my childhood incredible, but it came at a price. A price that wasn't charged until adolescence faded away and adulthood took the forefront. I had to learn to use my words and my voice to actually express what I wanted, needed, and felt. I had to learn skills as an adult that many people had a handle on a long time ago.

I guess I should really say I NEED to learn skills, not HAD TO. Let's be real, even though I was writing in past tense this is a very current learning curve I'm working on and not projected to master anytime soon.  

As uncomfortable as it can sometimes be to ask for help or express your wants or needs, there's a power that starts to grow from it. Some may call this 'empowerment,' 'self-advocacy,' or 'assertiveness.' I believe these are all true, and can be found under the larger umbrella of 'self-knowledge'; getting to know yourself better. 

This is the only umbrella I know of to generate it's own precipitation.

Maybe getting caught in the rain isn't such a bad thing . . .