Day 313: Anticipating

I've never been super fond of playing hostess.

I think a big reason for this is a self-imposed pressure to make sure that everything is "perfect" and to anticipate every need of my guests.

Sound remotely familiar or relatable?

If it does, then you've likely experienced how exhausting it is.

Hosting is exhausting.

Or so I thought.

Really, it's anticipating the needs of others that is exhausting.

It's running on assumptions that is exhausting.

It's attempting to always be 'on' that is exhausting.

These things prevent me from being fully present in the moment.

They prevent me from fully enjoying, taking in, and embracing the experience I am having.

They take me out of the now and put me into a hypothetical future, planning and playing out a variety of scenarios all created in my mind.

And when my focus is on the future, or more appropriately - a specific future I've currated, I am pulled out and disengaged from what is actually happening around me.

Thus, stress and energy drain ensue.

But maybe there isn't a need to anticipate all of the possible needs of others...

Maybe there isn't a need to try to be perfect...

Because in reality, neither of these things are actually possible.

Perfection doesn't exist.

Mindreading (to my knowledge) doesn't exist.

Last time I checked, the times I remember the most are the times I fully engaged with others.

The best stories I have are from the times when unexpected outcomes or needs were discovered and tackled together, not in the isolation of my mind.

Perhaps allowing myself to learn in the moment rather than expecting myself to know everything ahead of time is the real key to being present and fully engaged.

Perhaps allowing myself to be human and embracing the imperfections that come with it is the key to hosting.

And perhaps this new approach to hosting is the key to experiencing life.

Life isn't the scenarios we create in our minds.

 

Live it, don't anticipate it.

 

 

Day 312: JC's Picture

Jesus just had a birthday.

He's hundreds - scratch that - thousands of years old.

Every Christmas we celebrate his birthday and what it represents. But I think there's another aspect that often gets skipped over.

 

A part that any human can get something from - regardless of their religious affiliation or beliefs.

I'm talking about his ability to be himself.

Like, being fully true to who he is.

Being an example of what it might look like to ---

-listen to our inner voice

-heed our inclinations and interests

-cut through all the noise of others telling us to do and act otherwise.

He paints a picture of what it means to Be True To Oneself.

It's my belief that we all have value, worth, and something to contribute to this world. Yet, it's easy to feel like that isn't true - especially in a culture of comparisons and quick judgements.

Interestingly enough, when we are true to ourselves, the comparisons and judgements start to melt away.

Perhaps we should take a page from JC (not Chasez)'s book in the coming year.

May we:

-be aware enough to hear our inner voice

-brave enough to follow the inclinations and interests it reveals

-and confident enough, in ourselves and who we are, to walk on our path no matter what comes our way.

Day 311: Silence

Silence is golden - or so they say (don't ask me who 'they' are).

But what about when it's not so golden?

What about when it's uncomfortable?

That will depend on who you ask - and how they view things.

For instance:

• In a life with small children, silence may seem like a great gift and blessing.
• In a life with adults, silence may seem judgemental or invalidating.

These, of course, are just two of many many interpretations, but they illustrate an important point. The way a person interprets a situation can change the entire feel and meaning of pretty much anything.

Our interpretations are based on our past experiences, expectations, and deep rooted beliefs. They are unique to all of us, but they aren't always helpful - or true.

Oftentimes, situations in which we experience awkwardness, discomfort, or any other undesirable feeling or emotion are indicators that our interpretation of the situation may not be the most helpful for us.

And even more often, these interpretations have to do with US, despite seeming to be about others. Thus, the way we interpret silence can be a good gauge for how comfortable we are with ourselves.

At least that's my take.

So, next time you experience a moment of sweet silence or awkward silence, take a beat to check in with yourself. You may find the situation has the ability to completely transform.

Day 310: Christmas Magic

For years now, I've had an inside joke with my sisters about "Christmas magic."

Essentially, this is just playing up the 'magic of Christmas' theme and attributing anything and everything that works out or falls into place as: 
"Christ-mas Mag-ic." 
Complete with finger wiggles.

I made a demonstrative video of such magical wiggles several years ago. 
You should most definitely take a look - and read - HERE.

As I re-read thoughts from my much earlier post it seemed a fitting reminder for this time of year.

Christmas - for the majority of Christians, is a celebration of the birth of Christ. A time of rejoicing, appreciation, thanksgiving, salvation.

And for anyone living during this time of year (or anytime), it's a time of reflection and, ultimately, choice.

Choice in how we move forward, live our lives, think, interact with others - choice in everything.

It's easy to forget that we have such choice.
Especially, in circumstances where none of the choices presented are favorable.

But we do.
We always have choice - even when we don't like it.

And every time we make a choice, we uncover new options available to us.

In this Christmas season and close of the calendar year, I'd like to offer a recommendation.

Choose Yourself.

Exercise your power of choice.
Make decisions based on the things you want and care about rather than the things you fear or are trying to avoid.

Use your voice.
Practice sharing what you really mean and feel.

Listen openly.
Listen to hear, listen to understand - not to respond.

Strive to make the world a better place.

When we make choices through a lens of love and opportunity we will carry the magic of Christmas (an dare I say, humanity?!) all year long.

Day 309: Cats for sale

Cuddly and curious barn cats for sale!

Come get your new best friend from the
B@!✓£Y Cat Colony!

These cute felines are perfectly socialized and LOVE sharing
- especially eye and nose crusties!

and there's plenty to go around!

Come meet your forever friend NOW!

Day 308: Getting Up

Sometimes getting up in the morning can be tough.

You may find, like me, thinking about the day or activities ahead of you isn't enough to spring you out of bed. (Especially if it means nonstop play and  interaction with little humans who love having you around and also have way more energy than you.)

This is common with activities we may prefer to avoid or put off. But it can also occur on days that we know will include enjoyed activities as well.

So what gives?

I don't know exactly, but I'm coming to find that thinking about how we feel in the moment - when thoughts are starting to churn, but eyes are still closed - might be the place to start. Focusing on the moment at hand, rather than thinking about all of the possible things we have ahead of us in the day.

For me, this can start with first realizing that I'm no longer sleeping - no matter how good it feels to keep my eyes closed.

Then thinking about what's going on in my body-

Am I thirsty?

Do I have to go pee?

Oh, I do have to pee but I'm not ready to be spotted as 'up' and playing with kids yet? . . . Maybe I can hold it for a bit . . .

I'll also think about how I slept.

When visiting my sister and her family, I tend to sleep like a log - who knew dark and quiet were key ingredients to great sleep?!

From there it really comes down to choice and intention (along with prevailing calls of nature). That means deciding what type of day I want to have.

Not so much in a "I want to have the best day possible where nothing bothers me or brings me down," sort of way. But more of a 'this is the perspective I want to experience the day with,' sort of way.

This is easier said than done, but with practice it gets easier and easier.

Give it a try!

What changes in your day when you decide how you want to experience whatever comes your way?

Day 307: Lessons of the Season

"I'm better at jiggling when I'm standing still."

The last one finished eating dinner has to 'pay the bill.'

No throwing anything when there are 'lick-squids' on the table. (It means liquids - as in cups with beverages in them . . . it's a term that's gonna stick.)

Eyes and noses are always running in a cat colony.

I have a feeling there are many more lessons to be learned. So glad Christmas is not even close to being over!