Day 134: Baggage = Future Luggage

Let's talk about Baggage.

Baggage gets a bad rap - especially when it comes to relationships. Especially in regards to women.

"She's got a lot of baggage."

'I don't want to deal with anyone's baggage.'

Baggage, baggage, baggage.  

Baggage is bad, Bad, BAD.

And if you've got it, there's something wrong with you and no one will want to deal with it. Thus no one will want to deal with you.

WHOA. That's a lot. 

And it doesn't feel good at all.

So allow me to offer an alternative perspective.

Baggage - the emotional, mental, and perhaps even physical experiences, traumas, beliefs, and view points of one's lived experience - is not bad. 

Collect all of the baggage you can. It's proof of living.

Baggage can, however, be heavy.

This is why it's important to sort through the baggage. This will happen at different times, for different people. There is no rule for when this needs to happen or what it needs to look like. 

But it needs to happen in order to live a life that feels free and light. 

We've [all] got to go through our own baggage so we can lighten our own loads. 

We've got to upgrade to some wheels. 

We can think of going through our baggage as we would sorting through a plentiful wardrobe. 

We can't wear all of the things we've accumulated, and likely we don't want to. We have the opportunity to curate the exact look, feel, and learned life lessons we want to keep and use in the future.

We get to choose what we pack in our luggage.

And that's the difference. 

Baggage is simply future luggage. We just haven't done the sorting yet.

Day 133: Bad Luck or Good Luck?

I played horseshoes with my sister a few weekends ago. 

Boy, was the game full of surprises - and I'm not even referring to my consistent and accurate aim!

Surprise #1 - Hidden Loot
The park we play horseshoes in has a row of 10ish throwing pitches. We have a pitch we typically play at, and this time was no different. However, something did catch our eye in the pitch next to us. 

Was that stake freshly painted?

Naturally, we investigated. As we began lifting up the pitch cover we saw something -

it was a purse!

WHOA! My brain immediately started running various scenarios as to how the purse got there and what might be inside.

The purse was clearly hidden intentionally. Also clear to us was the need to look inside the purse. What if we could return it?

"Don't touch it! Use a stick," my sister smartly advised.

I grabbed the stick she offered me and lifted the opening of the unzipped top pouch. We peered inside and saw . . .

a set of horseshoes! All 4 of them!!

I think we both breathed a slight sigh of relief. Neither of us wanted to play Good Samaritan at the moment.

Surprise #2 - Horseshoes can break
In what inevitably became our last round of the game we discovered something we never thought possible. Horseshoes can break. Like, snap in half, sort of break.

My sister threw her final shoe. As it hit the ground I saw something fly upon impact.

"Your shoe just broke!"

'What?! No, it didn't!'

It did. 

'What's a broken horseshoe supposed to mean? We should look it up!' 

It was such an unexpected and shocking occurrence we were sure there had to be some significance.

*******

Later that evening we looked up the meaning of a broken horseshoe.

...oof - it meant bad luck...

But finding horseshoes is said to be good luck. And we found FOUR.

So, surely that would cancel any shifts of luck and leave us the same as we were. Right???

I don't know. But honestly, it doesn't matter. Because, whether you believe in luck or not, perspective is everything.

Think about it - if your perspective is that you 'have luck,' what is your outlook like?
What's your attitude like?
How do you perceive challenges when you 'have luck' on your side?

The answers to these questions will reveal what your perspective of 'having luck' is - regardless of if you find a horseshoe, a four leaf clover, a leprechaun* or simply exist.

We can all live lives filled with 'luck' - and it starts with our perspective.

*let the record show I spelled this right on the first try (and I find it a hard word to spell)!

Day 132: Where are you looking?

Often what we see is quickly determined within a manner of seconds, if not less.

Because of this reason, I challenge you to pick an item and take it in.

Take it ALL in.

Consider different perspectives and layers of focus. Train your eye.

For instance, take this Dandelion seed head:

Ok, I've seen these before. Looks like pretty much every other seeding Dandelion I've seen . . . 

Great! Now look closer, through different levels of focus . . .

. . . these pictures just look increasingly blurry . . .

To the untrained eye. To the quick eye. To the impatient eye. Yes, that's probably true.

But to the observant and lingering eye they show different parts.

The Obvious : The surface, the seed heads closest to us.

The Perceptible : The middle ground, the seed stems.

The Hidden : The back side, the seed heads farthest away from us.

These three parts  - the obvious, the perceptible, and the hidden - are found in everything. 

In every person, place, and thing.  

In every idea and theory. 

In every dream and wish.

Each part brings with it deeper complexity. And with deeper complexity comes greater understanding.

We can choose to live the obvious, surface level life. A life in which no extra time or consideration is taken to what we do or why we do it.

We can choose to explore the perceptible, middle ground life. A life in which a moderate amount of time and consideration is taken to assess the factors of life surrounding us. A life of greater meaning.

We can choose to unlock the hidden life. A life in which great time and consideration is taken to determine what brings us happiness, meaning and satisfaction. A life that once didn't even seem possible or we didn't even know existed. A life that feels and does good.

We get to choose.

Train your eye. 

And remember to always ask yourself - where are you looking?

Day 131: Hair Wars

Crew: "The temperature's dropping fast, Captain!"

Captain: "Lower the windows!!"

 

- when cold air blows, the arm hair strikes back -

Day 130: Values Byproduct

hint... it's more values!

As I mentioned yesterday, over time our values can change. The timeline of such a change depends on the person, their situation, and their perspective.

 

Over the past few years, I've been going through a LOT of changes (perspective, mindset, confidence, self-worth, etc, etc). So I've checked in on several different occasions to see where my values were sitting.

 

A few days ago was my latest check-in. I was trying to remember the order of my last ranking but couldn't bring to mind which value rounded out the top 5. 

 

Remembering that I had made some values cards a while back, I pulled them out and looked over the 10 different values represented.

Instantly, I began arranging my top five.

 

Interesting - value #5 has changed!

 

What I realized after was that the remaining five values (peace/calm, achievement, passion, purpose, learning) can only be achieved when one or more of my top 5 are being carried out. 

 

For example, in order for me to feel fully at peace I need to feel a strong sense of connection and joy. Or, for me to experience passion I need creativity and humor leading the mix.

 

All other values in my life are the byproducts of living under the direction of my top values.

Wow!

Day 129: Values Compass

Two years ago, on my very first day of coach training with iPEC, we did an exercise I absolutely loved.

 

In the exercise we discussed the concept of values - the key aspects that guide what we do and how we do things.

 

We were given a list of values and told to pick our top 5.
I chose: 

- connecting to others

- creativity

- honesty

- joy

- respect

We then generated lists of the key descriptors of who we are. Again, picking out our top 5, then making sure they were in noun form. 

Mine were: 

- creative

- joy

- empathy

- optimism

- openness
(this is a sneaky way of tapping into your top values by thinking about what makes you, you)

How interesting! Some of the values I selected match with top descriptors of myself!

Next, we ranked, for a final time, our top five personal descriptors in order of importance - and added "I am" in front of each one.

My number one statement? I am Joy

 

Wow. I like that. It feels good! . . . Why can't I stop smiling?

 

I couldn't stop smiling because I had discovered a truth about myself. At my core and in my most authentic state of being, I am joyful. I am joy.

 

***************

 

As we go through life and time, some of our values will shift. But some will always stay the same. 

For me, Joy is a permanent value. 

Why does this matter? 

Because when we know what our values are we can use them as tools for making decisions, prioritizing, and even setting expectations.

 

When we know what our values are we are better able to authentically engage in and enjoy life.

Day 128: Mealworm Brownies

I had an aging zucchini in my fridge, amongst a number of other veggies in dire need of some attention.

I mentioned to my sister that I needed to use them up and she quickly suggested:

"You should make me zucchini brownies!" 

"Yeah, sure," I noncommittally replied. I don't think that either one of us really believed brownies were going to be made.

A few days later, to the surprise of us both, they WERE!

However, it wasn't without a few bumps along the way. As with most things in life.

Bump #1  .... I don't think I grated the zucchini fine enough

I used my food processor to grate the zucchini then put together the incredibly dry 'batter'. 

When I added the zucchini, something looked seriously off about what I saw.
"Oh my gosh, this looks like worms in dirt! It looks like mealworms - the yuckiest kind!"

But I kept mixing, skeptical that the geriatric zucchini would add enough moisture to turn the cocoa/flour dirt into anything other than powder.

Not only was I questioning the size of my zucchini shreds at this point, but also my choice of using coconut oil - an oil that hardens in cooler temperatures.
"But it was hot in my apartment! Surely it will work ok?!?"

Bump #2  .... I don't think I can call this brownie batter

So, the zucchini did NOT have enough moisture to wet the mixture into a sludge or even a large clump! And I had no idea what effect the coconut oil was having, if any.

It was time to call in reinforcements - several tablespoons of milk!

I used unsweetened coconut milk for the job. Seemed perfect since I had already used the coconut oil. Better stick with the same flavor profile, right?

I shake up the carton and pour in my first tablespoon (glug, glug).

I step away from the kitchen for a moment and quickly return to add tablespoon #2.
Glug, glug - ewww!! What is that white stuff?! Is that some sort of mold?!

I really don't know. What I do know is that I now had tiny white globs of something floating at the top of my tablespoon.

Does coconut milk have 'pulp'?? Is that why you're suppose to shake it? I questioned hopefully.

Clearly I wasn't too disturbed by the mysterious forms because, not only did I not care enough to look up the answer, but I felt the only action needed was to scoop off the white globs and continue with the few remaining tablespoons.

That did the trick - the batter was nice and moist!

Bump #3  .... hmm, maybe just a few more minutes

Nope! Didn't need a few more minutes. I over baked them. Not too bad, but the edges were certainly on the drier side (just begging for ice cream!).

When all was said and done - and I got a good piece from the middle - the brownies turned out Great! They were pretty moist and definitely delicious.

So why share the little details about this baking (mis)adventure? 

Because it's part of life. 

In every single experience we have, things will turn out different than we expect. It could happen at a particular step along the way. It could be an ultimate outcome.

Whatever happens, no matter what it is, is neither 'good' nor 'bad'. It is our interpretation and perspective of the situation or experience that makes it so.

When we are able to take a break from judging situations as soon as they deviate from what we want, we give ourselves the opportunity to fully experience the moment.

Take my mealworm brownie batter. It really looked disgusting to me. And I did not think it was going to turn out well at all, especially since it was so dry and powdery. 

Past Sarah might have gotten upset by the situation "[boo-hoo] I was just trying to do something nice for my sister (and my stomach) and it's not even working!"

But instead, I took in the situation objectively without judgement. And would you believe it? That allowed me to have fun in the situation I found myself!

What could have been a complaint was now a joke:

AND, it spurred an idea I otherwise never would have thought of - Coconut milk pulp.

Remaining open to whatever situations come your way is the key difference between eating mealworms and eating chocolate*.

*Or whatever it is that you like to eat.
Maybe it's the mealworms! If so, I'll give you my share.