Day 12 - High Maintenance

My shoes came in the other day looking for some help.

"I have a big performance on Sunday and I can't let these white soles reveal my age!" the shoes cried.

'No problem, I can help,' I said. And with the assistance of Dr. Sharpie, we got to work . . .

As in most maintenance salons, my client shared EVERYTHING.
". . . when I was young, I never thought I'd be able to tie my laces . . . I just can't stand hot weather - I hate being smelly! I'm more of a fall walker . . . for my big performance all of the other shoes are jet black from heel to toe! I'm so embarrassed of my white soles. I can't wait to see how this turns out - ALL BLACK! I can't wait! . . ."

Progress was slow, but the results were sure to be worth it. Things were really coming along . . .

Just look at that transformation!

Unfortunately, the success was short lived. The shoes dialed me up in a panic the next morning: "It's fading! It's fading! I don't know what to do!!!"

Oh, no! The color didn't take!

Panicked and frustrated, the shoes carried out their day, then raced over to my place as fast as lightning that night for an emergency touch up.

Tomorrow is the shoes' big day, so we're all nervously waiting to hear how it goes and if the procedure holds up.

365 DW - Day 11

Shotgun Buddy

Nothing captures the beauty of nature quite like sun rays on a tree . . .

But what's really nice is when you're able to capture the progress of illumination from dark to light.

Gradually growing brighter and brig- Wait . . . what's that?

Is that a RABBIT?!

Why, yes. Yes, it is! All buckled in and ready to go. 

. . Um . . . this is unexpected . . . ?

Well, whether shotgun buddy or vehicular security, it looks like he gets the job done.

365 DW - Day 10

Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gnomsta

As I strolled through the neighborhood, the sound of "Chopsticks" playing on the breeze, I encountered the top G running the streets of Roscoe Village. 

And by that I mean, this guy:

It's been said he controls everything in this neighborhood, from the music (strictly rudimentary piano ditties) to the traffic. And you don't want to get on his bad side, just look what he did to this small colony of sea anemones - and they don't even live here!

Or this unfortunate soul, forever entrapped by this tree, sentenced to never retract his tongue inside his mouth again.

He even steals items from poor unsuspecting human children to sell them on the black market!

Don't let his compact appearance fool you, he's to be avoided at all costs! I was lucky to snap a photo unnoticed, much less walk by with out a problem. But, despite all his vileness, I think most could agree

. . . Damn it feels good to be a gnomsta . . .

365 DW - Day 9

Day 9: Pancake Tacos

Fruit. Veggies. Meat. Dairy. Grains. Other. I eat it all, which makes food life very diverse. Because of this, and perhaps laziness, I've come up with different food combinations that are quite delightful. Most recently being, Pancake Tacos.

A few days ago I made some salad.

And I made some pancakes.

And I wanted to eat something a little more substantial than JUST pancakes or JUST salad. So I combined them. 

Let me tell you, the result was simply scrumptious! My go-to 'cake is the cornmeal pancake, which, for any sort of taco/sandwich, is absolutely heavenly. But this time I had to stick with the basics.

Nom nom nom says the hungry Sarah-saurus!

*This angle is somewhat reminiscent of a T-Rex, is it not?

Try it yourself and tell me what you think!

365 DW - Day 8

Day 8: High-Stakes Rescue Missions

Wake up, exercise, clean the bathroom. That was my plan for the morning. And it happened as expected until . . . my toothbrush fell down the sink drain. :(

Luckily it wasn't my oral hygiene toothbrush, it was my cleaning toothbrush. Regardless, I had a foreign object lost in the drain and I had to figure out how to rescue it.

The Scene: Bathroom Sink

The Problem: Trapped Toothbrush

Helllooooooooo down there!!!

Fingers weren't an option of rescue as mine are much too short. My next thought was tongs. I knew we had a few pair, one of them had to be the right size! Nope, all too big. What to use? What to use??

AHA!

The Solution: Chopsticks

While wildly brilliant, chopsticks were no easy tool to use. Many failed attempts and brush drops occurred before the sticks pulled the brush up high enough for the finger recovery team to meet them at the ledge and pull the the brush onto solid ground.

The toothbrush, though wet, dirty, and a little banged up, was safe. 

After such a traumatic experience the toothbrush and chopsticks needed to take a breather before getting cleaned off and airlifted back to their respective homes, under the sink and in the garbage can (I'll let you decide which went where).

What an adventure! I'm glad I'm not a toothbrush or a chopstick, but I'm happy I was able to orchestrate such a successful operation. Clearly this shows I can now list 'Skilled at High-Stakes Rescue Missions' on my resume.

365 Days of Wonder - Day 7

Day 7: Color Changing Shoes

Wouldn't it be awesome if shoes could change color? Not just because it would be cool, but for practical reasons. For example, I have a pair of light gray pants and I just can't find a shoe color that looks good with them; granted I have a very limited selection. But what if there was a way to alter a shoe's color - at least with in the color family - in order to get the most complementary shade to your outfit?

*like so

This may not seem like that important of an idea, but think about it. If we could adjust our shoe color, people wouldn't 'need' (and I use that term loosely) many different pairs of shoes at all. Well if they're basic like me and only have a few different go-to styles.

365 Days of Wonder - Day 6

Day 6: Crocodile Hands

The worst thing about winter for me is Crocodile hands - when your hands are ALWAYS dry no matter how much or which type of lotion you use. Not only that, but they form a very visible line at the wrist to indicate the transformation taking place. In honor of summer, and my return to pure human form, I wanted to share an ULTRA life-like representation to really illustrate my winter struggle:

This strange phenomenon reminds me of another type I witnessed in Uganda. While having a small dinner party, I couldn't help but be distracted by a pair of Bear-hands in attendance. I just couldn't keep my eyes off of them for more than a few minutes. Despite the name they weren't hairy, but rather took the shape of a paw, with no real wrist definition to speak of. To really solidify the idea in your mind, take a peak at the research findings below:

*Don't let the shading throw you off, it's just to illustrate how truly bear-like these paws, I mean hands, were.
**And yes, this miraculous gem was gifted to my good friend Katie. I have no doubt she has it up on her wall and gazes at it daily.