Day 319: To Be Heard

Many people in this world feel overlooked.

Many people in this world feel unheard -

That they don't have a voice;

Or that their voice doesn't matter.

This is a super disempowering feeling.

And when one feels this way, it is often just a stone's throw away from experiencing beatdown and resentment.

Feeling wronged by others.

Feeling a victim of circumstance.

Feeling powerless and without choice.

This is a very difficult headspace to be in.

This is an even harder headspace to get out of.

But you know what makes it a boatload easier to navigate and overcome?

Focusing one's attention on the areas that make the greatest impact.

To be heard requires others.

But first, it requires hearing oneself.

And to truly hear oneself requires acknowledgement, honesty, and bravery.

To be heard requires acknowledging that one is worth hearing.

That one's voice is valuable.

That one's voice matters;

That one's thoughts, feelings, and opinions matter.

To be heard requires honesty with oneself about what the message really is.

Not what one wants others to do.

Not what one is seeking.

But what one is feeling.

To hear oneself requires bravery -

to be vulnerable;

to go deep inside and uncover what one truly desires and the hidden beliefs that are keeping things out of alignment.

It is often thought that 'to be heard' is to:

be the loudest in the room

to have the most power

to exert the most force.

This approach may work for some, but it is not sustainable or long lasting. And when speaking from this place it is common to create a space of judgement and blame. Thus, being met with frequent resistance and force.

But we have another option.

We can choose to speak from a place of personal understanding and awareness, truth, and intention.

When these factors combine we create space for consideration and openness:

- the key ingredients for effective communication and progress.

We can't control others.

We can't make others listen if they don't want to.

But we can present our message in a new way.

 

A way that, rather than being brushed aside and ignored, makes people stop and take note.

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Want to put these ideas into practice?

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Day 318: Vision Board Party

Party Supply List

• Poster board (x4)
  
• Dbl stick tape
• Scissors
• Glue stick
• Wine
• Nice new year's notebooks X4
• 2 Pizzas
• Lots of veggies - 1
• Meat / veg - 1

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I had a vision board party with my closest friends days before the close of the year.

As we chatted and reminisced, my friends shared memorable characteristics and traits about me that they think of fondly.

In addition to this being incredibly flattering and heartwarming, it revealed to me something I had not been able to clearly see before.

I am memorable and noticeable.

 

By and large, until this party, I believed that I was rarely either of these things. And I believed this view was shared by others.

In thinking such a thing, my own endeavors of reaching various goals or persuing deeply held dreams have been greatly impacted.

And not in a good way.

They've been incredibly challenging.

In fact, for pretty much the entirety of 2022, I've been working on breaking down and overcoming my fear of 'being seen' as I navigate a new path of coaching and personal development.

Little did I realize, the only person blind to me was myself. And the obstacle I was actually trying to overcome - was Me.

It took some of my favorite people reflecting back aspects of Sarah that they enjoy and receive happiness from, for it to solidly 'click' that people really do know me.

People take an interest in me.

People value me and how they feel around me.

For the majority of my life, I've unknowingly believed that if no one says anything [to you/about you - in a positive regard], then you aren't noticed; That it takes outward acknowledgment to be noticed or remembered.

That's not true.

External validation is nice and feels great, but it is not the judge that determines a person's worth, impact or value.

That's internal validation's job.

And, boy oh boy, am I glad I've learned a thing or two about getting that motor running again.

I think it's common to experience a break down in ability to self-validate, to see oneself - especially when growing up in a western culture. (But seeing as I've only known the western mindset, I'd love to hear if this is true in other cultures as well.)

But the ability does not have to stay broken.

It can be rebuilt.

Strengthened.

Empowered.

And when that happens we become better able to see ourselves as others do. Through the lens of love and appreciation.

Oh my goodness, if I always saw myself the way my friends viewed me - I'd be unstoppable! If I could see myself on the pedestal of goodness my friends did, I would seldom doubt my abilities.

It's easy to see goodness and greatness in others (at least that's my experience). It's harder to see it in ourselves.

This begins to change when we start investing time in ourselves 

- our inner selves.

The parts we can't see, but can absolutely feel.

I am memorable and noticeable.

 

There is no lack there - in that statement.

Yet, it wouldn't have come to the surface if the spotlight hadn't first been shined internally.

If the [self] awareness hadn't been built.

If the [self] judgement hadn't been greatly defused.

Perhaps in this new year we shift ourselves to the forefront of our own priorities.

Perhaps we challenge our interpretation of self lack, in all it's many forms.

Perhaps we explore how life opens up when we willing and intentionally step into that which we are - the very things we fear we lack.

I am memorable and noticeable.

You are memorable and noticeable.

We are memorable and noticeable.

And we are - ALL of us - greater than we could ever imagine.

Here's to having the courage to consider it could be true. And then, fully and finally, embracing it.

Here's to us and all we are, both realized and yet to be, in 2023!

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Interested in learning how to better uncover your greatness?
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Day 317: This dating game show isn't for you

Strive to find others that align with who you are,

rather than trying to fit into someone else's box.

Happy New Year!

Day 316: Masks

Before heading to the airport . . . a day after watching Amadeus.

Day 315: More Lessons of the Season

Lesson 1: "If you lie, you'll go to prison."
This nugget was born from a sister-discussion, overheard by a niece, about Aunt Becky [from Full House] going to prison for lying to get her kids into a good college.

Lesson 2: If kids give you sass, give it right back

Day 314: Pi(e) [π] Day

In honor of my 314th post I present my (self-appointed) gang sign. 

That's a play on pi, 3.14, for all of the non-math nerds.

It could be interpreted as Sarah Pie - 

but it also reads, Pi(e) Money.

A nickname born from my time working at Orange Theory Fitness.

I can't remember if I posted this before or not -
300 posts is a lot to go through in order to confirm or deny it.

So, if you've seen it before - what do you notice now that you didn't before?
And if this is the first time - allow your eyes to feast and savor! 😋

Day 313: Anticipating

I've never been super fond of playing hostess.

I think a big reason for this is a self-imposed pressure to make sure that everything is "perfect" and to anticipate every need of my guests.

Sound remotely familiar or relatable?

If it does, then you've likely experienced how exhausting it is.

Hosting is exhausting.

Or so I thought.

Really, it's anticipating the needs of others that is exhausting.

It's running on assumptions that is exhausting.

It's attempting to always be 'on' that is exhausting.

These things prevent me from being fully present in the moment.

They prevent me from fully enjoying, taking in, and embracing the experience I am having.

They take me out of the now and put me into a hypothetical future, planning and playing out a variety of scenarios all created in my mind.

And when my focus is on the future, or more appropriately - a specific future I've currated, I am pulled out and disengaged from what is actually happening around me.

Thus, stress and energy drain ensue.

But maybe there isn't a need to anticipate all of the possible needs of others...

Maybe there isn't a need to try to be perfect...

Because in reality, neither of these things are actually possible.

Perfection doesn't exist.

Mindreading (to my knowledge) doesn't exist.

Last time I checked, the times I remember the most are the times I fully engaged with others.

The best stories I have are from the times when unexpected outcomes or needs were discovered and tackled together, not in the isolation of my mind.

Perhaps allowing myself to learn in the moment rather than expecting myself to know everything ahead of time is the real key to being present and fully engaged.

Perhaps allowing myself to be human and embracing the imperfections that come with it is the key to hosting.

And perhaps this new approach to hosting is the key to experiencing life.

Life isn't the scenarios we create in our minds.

 

Live it, don't anticipate it.