I judge things. A lot.
But I don't feel bad about it. I think it's just a part of life.
I read a quote the other day that gets at this idea quite well:
All truly wise thoughts have been thought already, thousands of times; but to make them truly ours, we must think them over again honestly, until they take firm root in our personal experience.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
It's easy to judge until we have experiences that allow us to understand things on a personal level.
For it is when we really understand something that we are able to see all of the pieces that make it up, rather than just the outer shell.
I recognized some of my own judgements this weekend in a series of rapid fire, small events.
The first, my desire for a Saturday morning wake and bake.
There's nothing wrong with the act itself, but the judgement I placed on it was where things started to get murky.
Why?
Because as a coach, I fully believe that allowing ourselves to do the things we want will almost always yield better results than that of restricting or deprioritizing ourselves.
But on this Saturday, my judging brain was quick to act after recognizing my desire to get high and relax first thing in the morning.
I then experienced an internal tug-of-war between wanting to practice what I preach and wanting to 'be responsible.'
Which was really just code for judging myself and not trusting that
1) I knew what I really needed in that moment and
2) that I would still do all of the things I wanted to throughout the day, just perhaps in a slightly different order than normal.
Once that was settled, I stopped judging and allowed myself to do what I wanted -and something magical happened.
Well, magical to me.
I got on a thought path that unraveled a very detailed, surprisingly well laid-out idea for an experiential event in which my love of art and coaching could be easily intertwined.
"Oh my gosh! This is so cool!!!!"
As I wrote and wrote and wrote, until the ideas stopped flowing from my pen, I started to recognize something. Another of my regular pitfalls was mysteriously missing in the moment:
'Needing to know all of the steps before the first is ever taken.'
This is a topic I coach on and think about a lot.
On a conscious level, I know there is ZERO way a person can know every single step they will take in order to achieve a goal before they even start. We rarely have ALL of the skills needed before undertaking a new venture. That's why we learn as we go - even if we don't realize it.
Yet, despite knowing this, I often hesitate and wave off big ideas I have due to 'not knowing how.'
But the thing is - HOW is actually the last piece if the puzzle. I'd even go so far as to say it's more of a byproduct.
Byproduct of what?
The WHAT and the WHY.
It was through my self-prioritization not long before that I was able to reveal a big HOW.
My Saturday morning WHAT was: art interpretation.
Spurred by catching sight of 'the gallery' and reflecting on the different interpretations I'd pulled from the same image over the course of time.
My Saturday morning WHY was: perspective.
Each interpretation of my art came from a different perspective - caused by changes in time, understanding, and circumstance. Coaching is ALL about perspective and developing the ability to consciously choose one's own perspective.
"...what if there was a way to educate about that through art?"
And then it hit me!
My HOW!!!
Using works of art, replicated in 7 different ways, to reflect common perspectives held in each of the 7 core energy levels!
My brain basically exploded.
I have struggled for two years now with my own understanding of the core energy levels. And to explain them to others in a way that feels natural, fun, and engaging to me?!
Oof, my mind goes blank.
But not anymore!
And it's all because I embraced my wants and stopped judging.