Day 191: Live Life Inside-out

Live life inside-out.

So often we live life outside-in.
With constant inundation of information and opinions, shoulds, coulds and need tos.

Criteria for how to live, act, look, Be.

And it's all coming from other people.

And yet, we see it and digest it as if it were our own idea.

That's outside-in living.

That's inauthentic living.

That's restrictive living.

To live inside-out is to let your own thoughts, opinions, likes and preferences, values and dreams direct your day to day and curate your future.

To live inside-out is to feel how you want to and put that out into the world. Not taking whatever the world gives you and hoping for the best.

To live inside-out is to choose oneself.

To live inside-out is to trust oneself.

To live inside-out is to free oneself.
[from self-criticism, judgement, comparisons, . . . ]

Day 190: How to be a life long learner

It has nothing to do with the formal education system. But it will likely involve schooling yourself - about yourself.

I'm talking self-learning.
Learning about oneself, for life.

Learning about life is important.

But learning about oneself is vital.

Knowing everything about life, but nothing of oneself is like having a nice car but no gas. You can't really go anywhere with it.

It looks good on the outside, but on the inside something is missing.

Learn about yourself continuously.

How?

Start at the beginning.
How all living creatures (mostly) learn new skills.

Observation.

Observe everything.

• Your Thoughts
• Your Emotions
• Your Actions (& reactions)
• Your Physical sensations
• Your Intuition
• Your Struggles
• Your Successes
• Your Best
• Your Worst

And then, without judgement, question everything.

Questioning why things are as they seem will always reveal a deeper level of reasoning and understanding. 

Do this and you'll see the world - and yourself - change in unexpected ways.

Day 189: Nature's Monet

 Beauty is in the eye of the beholder . . .

 

and so is interpretation.

*****

This beautiful work of art was created 100% by the natural world. 

Meaning, this isn't a painting.

Did I fool you?!

It's actually a stunning reflection of plants and a heron off the surface of North Pond!

Allow me to show you the full picture . . .

Here, let me flip it for you so it's even easier to see what initially met the eye.

It's pretty cool how looking at something in a different way can completely change the perception and interpretation you have of it.

Where might you benefit from taking a different angled view in your own life or daily observations?

Day 188: Duck Slapped

I witnessed the most unexpected altercation.

And it all started with a giant turtle.

I had seen him once before where he appeared a bit timid. But this time he was straight up chilling.

Nothing seemed to phase him - not the other turtles, the fish, me with my camera - nothing.

Also, note the human-like face!

Or so I thought.

Off in the distance I saw a duck headed our way. And she was moving in fast!

By the time she was maybe 5 feet out, all of the turtles began to disperse.

Who was moving the fastest?

The giant turtle.

As the duck closed in on her now empty target, she veered off to the right and out of sight.

Turtle chill mode was once again back on.

The giant turtle, by this time, had slowly begun his descent towards the center of the pond, becoming harder and harder to see.

Then, suddenly, the duck was back! Seemingly out of nowhere. And she was making a bee line straight for the giant turtle!

Through squinting eyes I managed to make out the uptick of speed as the giant turtle tried to escape his apparent nemesis.

But it was to no avail. 

 

 

The next thing I see is the duck overtaking the giant turtle and then a large splash. Water flew up into the sky as if from a cannonball dive.

"Oh my gosh!!!" I exclaimed as my jaw literally dropped.

I looked around to see if anyone else enjoying the pond had witnessed it. Apparently not.

The turtle was nowhere to be seen.

And the duck swam off as if nothing happened.

Day 187: Likes

It's a weird thought that for many years, I went through life not really knowing what I liked.

As an adult.

(Well, obviously as an adult - kids know what they like.)

I only recently woke up from a period of putting other people's likes in the forefront. I was always trying to "accomodate others," or so I thought that's what I was doing.

Partly because I felt like that's what I was "supposed to do."

And partly because I was met with such indecision when the task of choosing what to do fell on me.

I would immediately start second guessing myself.

• What if the other ppl didn't like what I chose?
• I have an idea, but I should do what other ppl like

What?!

No!

Just pick what you like!

If other people don't like it they can say so or suggest an alternative option.

It is not your responsibility to predict how others will act or to cater to the wants and preferences you assume they have.

I wish I could have grabbed past me by the shoulders, given and little shake, and let these sentiments fly!

Better late than never, I guess...

Having finally gotten the message, I'm really enjoying rediscovering and recognizing things I like. 

 

Whether planned activity or passing moment, recognizing the physical, mental, and soul satisfaction I experience as I go through my days is exciting!

Realizing - I don't like this because 'this is something So-and-so likes' (which used to be how I thought, thus limiting my own enjoyment).

I like it because I like it.

Because it brings ME enjoyment.

And I don't need anyone else around to enjoy it or to justify it.

I don't need to justify enjoying life!

And neither do you.

Ever.

Feel your joy and feel it fully.

Because when you feel joy, you spread joy.

And joy starts with things you like.

Day 186: Plant Scales

 These make me think of turtles. Guess which part?

Day 185: Getting out of my way

"I wish I could tell so-and-so about 'X' but they won't understand."

 

"I can't be honest with my coworker because I will hurt their feelings."

 

"I just want to be able to share freely and have others engaged in my life."

Anytime I have a thought about something I can't do because of other people (or how they will interpret/handle the situation), it is an instant sign that I am getting in my own way.

I am preventing myself from doing whatever it is I say I want.

It is my interpretation and assumption about the topic that makes up my perception. And, in situations as illustrated above, this perception is that I can't do / be / have whatever it is.

If I interpreted the topic differently and had different assumptions - or got rid of assumptions altogether - that would greatly change how I view the control I have over the situation.

I'll give two examples.

Example 1

I had the desire to have a closer connection / relationship with my parents. For me, sharing is the way to strengthen a relationship. But I wasn't sharing. Instead, I was severely restricting the topics and content I would discuss. As a result, the relationship didn't get stronger, it got weaker.

     

Why was I doing the polar opposite of what I wanted?

Because I had the belief that "I can't talk to them about XYZ topics."

The topics I wanted to share about the most.

The topics I judged myself for the most.

My interpretation of my own life experiences was one of harsh ridicule and judgment. I was grading myself on a scale of perfection, and with life experiences brand new to me, I could never measure up.

I judged myself so unkindly that I began to assume that others would do the same. And the fear of having the people who have known me my whole life thinking poorly of me was a fear I wasn't willing to face.

So I did it for them. Removing all possibility from my mind that there could be any other outcome.

I chose to restrict myself and my natural state of openness because my interpretation of the situation was "I had things to feel bad about or disappointed in myself for, and because of that I couldn't share my experiences with others."

Example 2

(This one's a bit lighter)

A new acquaintance was telling me about his struggle to promote his music.

He shared how his album featured several prominent singers of the genre and that they would most likely be willing to give him a shout out on social media. Thus, exposing him to their fan bases.

"So, what's the problem?" I challenged.

His response immediately focused on others. "They're willing to help, but I think they just want to promote as a larger campaign to see their reach amplified."

I still didn't see the problem.

From the logistical standpoint, that is.

But from the mental standpoint, it was like a giant neon sign:

UNHELPFUL INTERPRETATIONS,  ASSUMPTIONS, AND LIMITING BELIEFS AT WORK

 

These two examples illustrate how what we think, the assumptions we make, and how we interpret things all work together to create a certain picture.

If the picture being created is not what we want, we might do well to challenge it and investigate why.

Afterall, there are no rules in life that make something 100% impossible.

Anything is possible.

Really.

It's only when we let our current perspectives prevent us from moving forward that we become defeated or denied what we want.