Day 167: The Right Decision

It's impossible to always make the 'right' decision. 

The 'right' decision doesn't exist in the moment. It only exists in the past - in hindsight, when we know the full picture and outcome and can see if things played out the 'right' way (i.e. how we wanted or not).

Where labels of 'right' or 'wrong,' judgments of outcomes, are only possible after the fact when nothing more can be done

They are the backseat drivers of life. Critiquing us after we've already made the turn or action.

But the moment - in the moment, that's where trust lives and grows. 

In every moment we make the best decisions we can.

[Don't believe me? Then, tell me about a time you intentionally made a choice that you knew would be a horrible decision for your life.]

Some think it's out of our hands after that. Whatever happens, happens. It's either going to be 'good' or 'bad.'

If we want to give up control we can certainly lock into that perspective. 

Yet, if we want to remain the drivers of our own lives, we can do something else.

Learn.

We can learn from every experience. We can learn from every outcome - regardless of if it's what we had in mind or not.

Because with learning comes growth. And with growth comes opportunities previously unavailable to us.

Growth doesn't judge or criticize.

Growth embraces, acknowledges, and moves forward with a new perspective.

Day 166: The things we hate

I never would have guessed that my love of legumes, a stranger's hate of beans, and an online dating app would be the catalyst for a very poignant question discovery.

Why would I try things I hate?

Wow. I had never before had this question even remotely cross my mind.

What IS a situation in which I would retry something I hate?

The answer will be different for every person. But the root of the sentiment, I am willing to bet, will be the same: 

- Learning

- Growth

- Change

Ever disliked something as a child only to find you love it as an adult? (That was me with Seinfeld ....)

Or what about learning that with age comes an updated palate?

To slap a label on something and decide it shall forever remain that way until your dying day, is, in my opinion, a declaration against growth and the journey of life.

With each new phase (and day) of life comes new experiences, insights and learnings. This new information impacts and shifts our previously held views, beliefs and outlook on a large number of things. Often the shifts are so subtle we don't pick up on them.

But when we deliberatly seek out to challenge ourselves we will often be surprised. 

Surprised that we can change.

Surprised that we have changed.

So, I guess, right now my answer to the question is:
I will retry things I 'hate' to see if I still 'hate' them - to see if I have changed or grown, and to better understand and learn from them.

I will retry things I 'hate' when I can approach them from a new perspective.

Because if there is one thing I have learned in the past few years, it's that growth breeds new perspectives.

And perspective is everything.

Day 165: Our relationship

Just keep focusing on what feels good.

The things that create ease.

The things that delight.

The things that excite.

Dream so big it's scary.

The excitement is the foundation.

The fear is the true desire.

If we didn't want something, we wouldn't fear not having it.

It's a strange relationship, but a relationship nonetheless.

It's a relationship we can foster, grow and strengthen - 

and maybe one day even understand.

Our relationship with ourselves.

Day 164: Friday Foolery

 

Because if everything made sense life would be too boring...

Day 163: Curry

A cup of Curry gets put into the microwave to be heated up. 

- Darkness -

The microwave starts and the lights come on. The Curry eyes his surroundings suspiciously as a disgusted look slowly spreads across its face. 

". . I don't think I like dirty microwaves . . ," It says to itself.

The Curry becomes more and more aggravated with each passing second. The pieces of previous occupants stuck to the walls only add to the slow boil bubbling inside.

"Think you're gonna put me in a dirty microwave, huh?!"

The slow boil was now raging.

"Think you don't need to clean up for me, huh?!!"

"Think you do--" and then it was too late. 

The Curry exploded. 

Blew it's top. 

Hit the roof.  

It had reached its limit and there would be no coming back.

-------------------------

The microwave has never been cleaner.

Day 162: An Embrace

Yesterday at work my boss used the phrase "in the closet." 

It brought to mind a thought I had weeks ago at the Pride parade. 

Many people in front of me right now - members of a very marginalized community - are happier than a large number of the majority.

I've heard in passing skeptical beliefs, that one's sexual orientation is a choice. 

I don't believe that any human would intentionally choose a lifestyle laden with ridicule, prejudice and discrimination. 

It's not a choice.

But it is an embrace - of who a person really is.

What we fail to fully learn in our society is that the ultimate freedom in life is being true to oneself.

 

This means seeking out and focusing on the things that make us happy and light us up. 

This means saying yes to the deepest desires of our hearts.

This also means taking a real look at our pains and struggles and how we are addressing or avoiding them.

This embrace of self-truth is not reserved for minorities or marginalized people. It is for everyone.

Because once we embrace ourselves, we can more fully embrace others.

Day 161: One Courageous Act

This morning a thought popped into my head.

The most entertaining, funny, or engaging people appear as such, not because of a certain trait or skill they have, but rather because they are fully embracing who they are.

They are simply being. To the fullest extent possible.

No restrictions. 

No comparisons. 

Just being who they are. 

Focusing on what they enjoy and what lights them up.

That's the secret.

It's acknowledging your path - the one that calls out to you every so often - and actually taking it..

I'm beginning to do this and, boy, is it scary. The feeling/sensation of allowing yourself to even imagine the dream inside of you being reality is - hard to describe.

I start to feel nervous - my hands (or perhaps my whole body) start to shake. I feel energized with a sense of delight (along with some disbelief). 

 

And then it hits me. 

This isn't actually nervousness or fright - it's excitement.

I think in the idea of 'excitement' there's always some component of nervousness. None of us can see the future or know for sure how things will turn out. But to a much larger degree 'excitement' is the desire and longing of the heart, creating a vibration that hums so rapidly it can be unstoppable - if we're courageous enough to lean into it.

Happiness is available to all of us. A life of delight is one we can all have.

It starts inside of us. 

It starts with the thing that keeps coming back to our thoughts; the thing that keeps filling us with a sense of joy.

It starts with one very courageous act.

Saying 'Yes' to ourselves.