Day 159: Silenced

I made this collage a few years ago - 2019, I think. 

At the time I wasn't completely aware of the exact meaning behind it. But boy, does it seem obvious today!

When viewing it from the lens of our present, a time of societal regression of women's rights (amongst many other things), it's quite easy to see the message of silencing and oppression carried out by others.

. . .  but what about the silencing and oppression we carry out against ourselves?

How about the times we beat up on ourselves because we aren't:
  "good enough"
  "strong enough"
  "smart enough"
  "funny enough"
  "attractive enough"
  "important enough"
  [insert your personal "______ enough" here] ?

Or the times we hold our tongues for fear of:
 -what others will think
 -rejection
 -embarrassment
 -hurting others
 -disappointment
 -[insert your personal fear of ________ here] ?

Decisions based on the (assumed) actions of others will always silence the message, will always restrict.

Decisions based on what makes a person feel their best, energized, and alive will send messages far and wide.

Last time I checked, being mean and unappreciative of myself has never made me feel my best, energized, or alive. 

So, perhaps, the airlines got it right. 

Maybe in all of life it's important to put the oxygen mask on ourselves first before helping others. Because if we are short of breath and/or emotionally depleted, how can we sound our own call?

Day 158: Ghost Story

[Me and my sister arguing before bed on a recent night she stayed over]

Me: You have to close the [bedroom] door again. 

Her: Why? 

Me: Because I didn't hear it click!

Her: It's closed! I'm not going to open it and close it again.

Me: Do it!

Her: No! It's closed! 

Me: But I need to hear it click! . . . Because it creeps me out when the door opens on its own. And if I hear the click then I'll know it's closed - and if it opens then it's a ghost!

There it is. The real reason behind the insistent action request.

There is always some hidden belief (or fear) that fuels our most heinous demands (and even our 'rational' ones).

There is always more to what meets the eye - or ear.

There is always more to the story.

Knowing that this is the case - in probably 99% of seemingly irrational demands- gives us the incredible gift to be our own Paul Harvey. 

 

It gives us the opportunity to discover "the rest of the story."

How?

By uncovering the deeper meaning behind what we see or hear in order to get the full picture - all sides - not just the singular view we immediately see.

By asking questions.

By being curious.

Channel your inner investigative broadcaster - life's a lot more interesting that way.

Day 157: Never have i ever

Never have I ever been in the bathroom on my phone for so long that I crossed my legs, forgetting that I was sitting on the toilet . . .

Day 156: Observation love

I love observing.

I love observing so much.

 

When I start to take in everything around me, it's so fun. I get to look at - and really 'see' everything around me.

It's every time I go on a nature walk. Or am somewhere with a lot of people. It can happen at any time, really, but some situations are easier than others. 

Regardless of the setting, observing takes effort and it takes practice.

To observe for fun (and hopefully one day for 'sport') one has to release any judgements and resist the temptation to label things. And be open to following ideas that may seem silly.

 

For instance, take this image...

 

My first thought when seeing this man carrying his tiny bag was:

 

"I wonder what he's carrying in his toiletry bag? I bet he's going to the gym and he's just carrying around a stick of deodorant - and maybe something else."

 

And that thought exploration was enough to provide me a fit of giggles.

What observation delight have you experienced lately?

Day 155: Love Bugs

Busted! 

In broad daylight in the park of all places!

Nature - doing its thing regardless of human judgements since the beginning of time.

Day 154: Happy Independence Day!

 

George "Lychee" Washington wishes you a happy and safe Independence Day! 

May it one day represent independence and equality for ALL who live here!

Day 153: Are we . . . Best friends?

After roughly 30 years, I think I've finally learned what a "best friend" is. Clearly this was the processing time required to consciously identify and understand my never spoken definition for the term.

Whoa . . . that's a long time . . .

Yeah, it is...

It took me that long to realize that having a best friend was like having a twin. It's the person you want to spend most of your time with and with whom you have the most shared interests and tastes.

So, by that definition, my twin sister must be . . . my best friend?!

What a wild thought!

As strange as it may seem, it took me well into adulthood to recognize this and to see our relationship as anything other than the label of 'sisters'.

I just thought that sisters spent time together. And that that was an universal thing.

I didn't know one could be 'best friends' with a sibling. All of the other kids I knew growing up were 'best friends' with kids that weren't related to them.

This insight revealed another piece of my sibling relationship puzzle - my perception of labels.

I have viewed most things in life as only able to 'be' one thing - to wear one 'label.'

What I am recognizing now is that there is no limit or restriction for labels. Things can be whatever we want them to be and - most often - are a mixture of many things.

This is certainly true of my relationship with my twin sister.

 

Undeniably we are sisters, both biologically and visually. And we are also best friends.

Labels help us to categorize and navigate life.

And in order to more deeply understand and experience life we must determine what our labels actually mean to us.