Day 28: That's not mine

Hair is apparently the theme for the start of this week.

I used to have quite long hair. Now it's much shorter. 

But that doesn't explain this hair that I found . . .

It's either cat/dog/pet hair . . . or the thinnest porcupine quill I have ever seen . . . (and the softest and most flexible . . .)

I suppose there is a slim chance it may have come from my coat . . . 

But I don't know, the coloring just doesn't look right . . .

I guess this leaves me with one choice - a stake out! Naturally, the critter is coming into my apartment while I sleep and dropping singular hairs on the carpet. There's simply no other explanation . . .

Day 27: Hair New in Year 22

I got a pretty big chop this weekend. 

After running around with long strands that just hang there all the time - and annoy me when I'm trying to go to sleep - it was time to change things up.

I went to the salon an hour early - at their request.

Oh boy, it's getting real. I'm starting to feel a little nervous . . . 

"Sarah?" My stylist calls my name and waves me over to her chair. "What are we doing today?"

I tell her I want to cut my hair short and motion around chin length.

Her eyes get VERY big. She quickly recovers herself and follows up with, "..have you been thinking about this for a while?"

Now, I'm starting to feel the stomach jitters - "Do you think it will look bad?!"

"No, it's just such a drastic change. I wanted to make sure it was something you've been considering so you're not shocked."

"Oh. Yeah, I've been thinking about it for a while," I assured her. 

I debated if I should tell her that I'd been considering an even shorter haircut for a longer period of time, but I decided against it. She didn't need to hear about my baby steps thought process. Though that's exactly what this is, a baby step.

Once that got cleared up it was smooth sailing. 

As soon as I saw the length literally fall away from my head, I felt a smile spread across my face. Not that anyone could see it because I was wearing a mask, but still.

Doing what you want feels good. 

Day 26: Enjoy the transitions

My family is spread out across the country. So, if I travel domestically, it is almost always for the purpose of visiting someone I know. And even more specifically, dropping into their world as quickly as possible because 'time is finite and time together is even more limited.'

Sheesh, there's a limiting belief!  

Why is the idea that 'time is finite and time together is even more limited' a limiting belief? [Despite containing the same word]
Because it:
- inhibits my ability to experience life fully
- focuses on lack and scarcity
- prevents me from even considering that there might be other ways to view traveling to see family

I bring all of this up because, in my conscious investigation of where my thoughts actually come from, I discovered the even deeper rooted core belief of "you can't really enjoy a trip until you reach the destination."

I think this idea is something everyone can relate to. Have you ever heard the saying, "Life is about the journey, not the destination"?

Mostly likely you have.

But have you really, honestly believed that for your own life? 

Take ANY life category - work, health, relationships, etc. Have you ever fully bought in to the idea that the time, process, and learning that occurs as you're:
- working hard on that stressful project at your job
- building up that new fitness routine
- trying to find a good match for yourself through dating
or countless other examples, is MORE important than the achievement itself? 

Is the struggle to complete the project more valuable than a job well done?
Is the effort to create a new habit and lifestyle more valuable than the habitual routine and transformed physique?
Is the experience of meeting new people and being vulnerable more valuable than the established committed relationship?

That's tough to say, because it depends entirely on your perspective. There is no 'right way' to think about or approach life. But there is a way that works and feels best for all of us, individually.

For me, I think I'd like to work on some perspective shifts so I can enjoy the journeys and transitions I encounter in life more. Starting with something small, like the way I view traveling to visit family.

What if I gave myself permission to turn off autopilot so I could actually take in and, dare I say it - enjoy, the process of traveling to a different location?

It think a lot might change for me; experiencing way less stress, being the most obvious.

There's definitely value in practicing this - checking yourself and how you are perceiving the transitions in life. The good stuff isn't reserved only for accomplishments and destinations, it can be found everywhere.

Day 25: Focus on how you Want to feel

I had a coaching session with a client recently where we touched on the idea that each of us has the ability to decide how we feel. We discussed a situation in which my client was feeling not great. Then dissected it into the thoughts that accompanied the feeling, as well as the actions (or lack thereof), that resulted from it.

I recall having asked her "how do you want to feel?"

From there we explored what types of thoughts would likely cozy up to her desired feelings and, as a result of that combination, what potential actions or outcomes might be.

Reflecting back on this coaching call it took me a while to fully grasp the power of that question. In the moment, it seemed like the best question to ask. But the more I thought about it, after the fact, the more in awe I became.

There's a quote that goes something along the lines of "what you focus on expands." So it would make sense that if you are focusing on things that you don't like or don't want to feel, that you would feel them even more or for a longer period of time. Or, at the very least, you would have a much harder time identifying other options or feelings available to you in the moment.

If this is true, why not focus on what it is that you want rather than what you want to avoid? If focusing on the way you want to feel or the results you want to achieve, by its very nature, will help reveal the thoughts and emotions needed to get you there, why wouldn't you?! If what we focus on expands, why wouldn't we focus on the things we want?

Just something to consider. Should you feel compelled, maybe try it out for yourself. Next time you find yourself focusing on something you deem "bad,"challenge yourself to think about what would make the situation "good"? How does that change in perspective feel? What sort of thoughts accompany it?

Day 24: Affordable Housing

Dave Chappel said he wouldn't support a change to the original development plan he invested in to now include duplexes and townhomes for affordable housing. 

But did see the proposed VISION?!

Day 23: High School Quote

I was listening to a podcast this morning where the host mentioned looking back at their high school yearbook. Specifically, their senior photo page. 

It made me think about mine, and how the quote that I chose, at the time, seemed very random (which is precisely why I chose it). It was this: 

"On the other hand, you have other fingers." 

Super random and, I think, completely made up. What I mean by that is, I'm 99% positive I found the quote in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants book.

I bring this up because I started thinking about the quote itself. As random as it seems, it is totally true - on the other hand, we have other fingers. Which, now in my current life and mindset, I definitely take to mean:  

'We always have choices'. 

 

It might not seem that the choices we have are great, but they are still choices nonetheless. Oftentimes, many of the choices we have available to us are so overlooked that we don't even realize they are there. For example, we have a whole other hand of fingers, but do we ever really think about them?

Who would have thought fingers would ever represent choices in life? Not me! But I sure am glad I made this connection. 

 

Maybe next time I find myself needing to make a decision and having a difficult time, I can remember to look at my hands. Who knows, maybe it'll spark some inspiration.

 

. . . kinda like Christmas magic . . . (if you don't get it, it's ok)

 

 

Day 22: If you think you can, you can

I was thinking about a coach training program I did last year. 

One of the exercises we did during that training was a visualization exercise. This particular activity was meant to demonstrate that we each hold knowledge deep inside of us, that we don't even know is there. 

Our instructor started off having us all close our eyes, quickly followed by a centering/grounding exercise. Then, we started visioning. 

Verbally, our trainer led us through a visualization exercise in which we were to meet our future selves. And by future selves I mean, like, as old people, to gain wisdom and guidance.  

I was skeptical if it would work. I hadn't had a ton of luck with visioning exercises in the past, but I was willing to try. It sounded cool! 

We began by envisioning what our house looks like. We were supposed to note if anyone else was there, what the surrounding environment was like. Is there green space? Is it a house? Condo? Apartment? Hut? Tent? what have you. 

So we see what the scene looks like and then we meet our way distant future self. We start to see ourselves - so for me it felt like this: 

"Oh hi Sarah - hi me . . . nice to 'meet you' sort of? Great to see you... this is weird. I'm kind of excited and also kind of nervous and confused . . ." 

And then we are supposed to go off to a private, quiet space so that we can talk to each other.

I am able to sort of see Future Old Me, not super clear - but enough, as well as pretty clearly see where we go. I live in a house and there is a lot of yard around it and a garden area, I think. We go to talk by ourselves and end up sitting in a gazebo in the backyard. That was pretty cool. 

The main thing I remember from our 'conversation' is elderly Future Sarah holding out her hand to give me something. I open my palm and on it she places a little trinket. As I take a closer look I see it is a very small charm/pendant thing, like you would put on a necklace. 

It is in the shape of a train engine. I see the train and, after a beat to process and take in the shape I'm seeing, I hear the words (though neither her nor I said them): 

"if you think you can, you can"

 

This immediately made me think of my nephews and niece. They absolutely love trains. And from there, the book, The Little Engine That Could, came to mind. 

If you know the story, the little engine, throughout the whole book, keeps telling himself "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can." 

He's trying to pull a train to the top of a hill, well, trying to get over a hill so he can pull his cargo back to the train station. He's struggling the whole time but he keeps telling himself that he can do it.
And he does!

Seeing that train engine pendant in my hand and hearing those words "if you think you can, you can" was definitely a confirmation that we can do whatever we want. We just have to want it enough.

And we have to believe in ourselves.