Day 254: Supporting Evidence

A few days ago at the start of my walk around North Pond something caught my eye in the middle of the pond.

It was swimming straight towards the water's edge, near the cafe.

It was the beaver!!

Oh my gosh the beaver's back! It made it through all of the construction of the pond restoration project!

What a happy discovery. My heart was singing - I was SO EXCITED!!

Since that day I've been scouring the pond with an eagle-eyed intensity during my walks, determined to catch sign of my rodent friend once again.

Today, during my walk, I still did not see the beaver.
Nor did I get closer to figuring out where it's [new?] den is.

But I did catch sight of some supporting evidence that the beaver is indeed, back to stay at North Pond.

Behold!

Exhibit(s) A

Exhibit B

What a great example of you see what you seek.

Yes, I wanted to actually SEE the beaver.
And while that hasn't happened YET, I still saw what I was seeking - proof that it was still around.
Proof on both sides of the pond, to be exact.

There's another saying that comes to mind for this,
What you focus on expands.

I feel like both of these sayings are helpful to keep in mind. Especially in today's world.

We are constantly inundated by information of all kinds - sometimes by choice, but often not.

We can focus on the things we don't want and thus, find proof to support whatever fear, stress, etc it brings up in us.

Or

We can focus on the things we DO want and enjoy. And through our focus on such things, we amplify the benefit and the good feelings they bring. 

Supporting evidence is all around us, we just need to decide what we are hoping to see.

Day 253: Nature Lover

Nature is genuine and authentic.
No wonder I love it so much. 

In nature, neither animals nor plants are putting on airs or acting a certain way because they think that's what they're supposed to do.
With the exception, perhaps, of the squirrels wanting people to feed them.

No, they are all just living. Full stop.
Living in the way that is natural and best for them.

Take a look at the changing leaves right now.
They are all changing at a different pace and into different colors. Various fade combinations, some to stay before they fall and others to transition through a metamorphosis of different colors before the end.

You don't see one tree thinking to itself:
'Well, all of the other trees are changing their leaf color, I'd better hurry up and do it, too!'

Instead, you see a wide progression of change with each individual tree moving on it's own timeline.

Ah, what ease. What freedom. What peace.

May we all be able to reconnect with our own authentic sense of internal nature.
May we all come to a place of acceptance and desire to live fully within our own timelines.

Day 252: The Golden Rule

The golden rule has been around probably since the beginning of time - if I had to venture a guess.

And it still seems to be somewhat elusive on a grand scale.

I have never, through my limited knowledge or experience, come across a place or time where this guide for being was completely embraced by everyone.

The thought occurred to me recently, that the reason for this might be more fundamental than I would have guessed. Requiring a bit of reverse engineering to get to the root of.

Treat others as you want to be treated. 

But are we treating ourselves as we want to be treated??

Life is a reflection of our inner world. Our thoughts and perspectives color what we see around us. And because of this, our interpretations of life will be uniquely different than everyone else's (for the most part).

If we aren't willing to treat ourselves how we would like to be treated, how can we do the same for others?

It seems similar to the thought, 'you have to love yourself before you can love someone else.' 

I don't think it's the all or nothing situation of, if you don't treat yourself well then you can't treat others well. Because I know from personal experience (a lot of it) that it is MUCH easier to be kind, encouraging, supportive, advocative, etc towards others than myself at times.

Yet, I think the transition of carrying out the golden rule to living out the golden rule occurs when one has learned to apply the rule to oneself.

This makes sense to me.

Think about a time when you felt really happy, proud, appreciative of yourself - and then interacted with others.
What was that like?

For me, if I am feeling good in and about myself, it becomes seemingly effortless and automatic to project those good vibes, feelings and actions onto others.

Thus, my call to action:

Treat yourself as you want others to treat you
- and see what shifts over time.

Day 251: Reciprocation and Dislike

For much of my life I've operated under the premise that I needed to act a certain way in order to be 'nice.'

Because to be 'nice' is to be 'liked'.
(At least to my child brain.)
And if you aren't 'liked' then there must be something wrong with you.

...hmm...

I uncovered a belief I have, that 'you have to reciprocate in order to be "nice" (aka a 'good' person).'

But that's not true.
(People please, much?)

It's not true that by not reciprocating I am being "mean."

And it's not true that not reciprocating has any moral implications on the type of person I am.

But in my brain, that is the only other alternative.

With hidden - or limiting - beliefs, everything is an 'All or nothing' situation.

And every choice has a moral say about you and your worth.

This realization made me think about the concepts of nice and mean - and how they correlate to being liked and being disliked.

I thought about in childhood when being unliked is one of the worst things ever.

How interesting it is that to be unliked in adulthood could be viewed as a completely neutral thing?

To be unliked is not the same as being disliked.

I think in childhood these two terms are actually synonyms. 

However, as we mature and enter into adulthood they begin to take on their own individual meanings.
Just as we become our own individual people - how fascinating!

You mean to say, that I can have zero regard, in any capacity, for someone or something and still be a 'good' person?

Why, yes, that's exactly what I mean to say!

 

What does it really mean to be a 'bad' person?

This will vary slightly from individual to individual, but we can probably agree it will involve something along the lines of:

Intentionally causing harm to others.

So what does this all mean?

To me - it means that being honest with myself about my wants, needs, and preferences and then using this honesty to inform my actions, might actually be the 'nicest' thing I can do.

Because when we allow ourselves to do what's right for us, we are more open to accepting the differences that are right for others.
And what's more likeable than that?

Day 250: Penguin Run

Saturday morning I went for a walk and witnessed a grin-inducing sight.

A man running . . . wearing a backpack . . . and his hands in his pockets.

I can't really explained why the sight tickled me so, but it did!
Boy, was I giggling!

It may have been because when people run with their hands in their pockets, they start to resemble penguins . . .

Day 249: Free Will

I had a conversation with someone the other day about free will.

They shared this idea of quantum entanglement. This was new for me, I had no idea what it was. The basis of it is that there is no will, there is an opposite happening at any given moment which, in turn, mandates what any outcome will always be.

This is a hard concept for me to grasp on a number of levels.

The biggest being, that I fully believe that humans have free will.

If we don't, however, that would be a pretty big mind shift to swallow.

I wanted to figure out how my view of things could still work if this were actually the case, that there is no free will.

Some argue, 'why does it matter what you do? Whatever is going to happen will happen regardless of one's actions.'

I still don't believe that.

I suppose what I hold on to most is the idea that we are still in control of our own happiness.

Perhaps we have no control or impact on the outcome of our lives or certain events that will transpire. But we do, absolutely, have the power to go through experiences in a way that feels good and energizing to us.

No matter what the circumstances.

This idea, I'm sure to some, may sound about as harebrained as the idea that there is no such thing as free will.

Isn't it strange how we can hold on and accept one type of extreme idea but not others?

Regardless, this is what I've worked out in my own mind.

Free will or not,

Destiny or choose your own adventure,

we all have the ability to create our own happiness.

In every moment and every situation.

We have the ability to choose our perspective. We have the ability to choose how we interact with the world.

Maybe this doesn't change the course of events we experience throughout our lives.

But it does impact how we experience ourselves throughout our lives.

And to me, that might be the most important thing.

Day 248: Thought-Tracks

What a strange thing - to be aware of your own thoughts.
It can be really cool and illuminating to have a thought that reveals why you think other things.
It can also be terrifying.

For me - and I would imagine, also, many others - it may be near imperceptible what my thoughts are. My inner thought-track just plays as usual and I'm so used to it that I can't hear it at all.

Until I can.
In small sporadic fragments.

Coaching has helped me to increase this awareness and adjust the tuner a bit more to pick up a clearer signal. But it's a constant work in progress.

Last night I became aware that my internal thought-track is about myself.

It sounds kind of weird that this wasn't obvious before - it's in MY head.
Who else would it be about?!

Others.
Other people.
The unnamed, unknown, audience of my brain that my track narrates to.
The thoughts are never addressed to me, I, or Sarah.

They typically personify and separate parts of me for further commentary.

Such as my fingers.
I often hit the wrong letters when texting and get frustrated.

Last night it happened again, and I was quick to reprimand my unfocused digits.

"Fucking idiot."

[wide-eyed freeze]

Whoa.
Harsh!

For some reason this insult, which isn't particularly isolated, really caught my attention.

Because for the first time it dawned on me that the fingers I was verbally putting down - my fingers - are a part of me.

I was saying that to myself!

Immediately a "protective" thought swooped in.
'but you weren't calling Yourself a 'fucking idiot', you were saying it about the typos...'

Yeah, but I'm the only person here. The fingers belong to me.

I had no idea I was this unkind to myself.

Over the past year, I've come to realize the insecurities and personal hang-ups that I've been working through are rooted in unkindness towards myself. I've encountered the slightly dismissive enabling thoughts of
'yeah, but you're not that mean to yourself. It's not like you think to yourself, "I'm a worthless piece of shit", like some people do.'

Turns out, I wasn't dialed into the right frequency to pick up what was really happening.

Indeed, I was doing that -albeit with a different word choice.

But I had no idea.
I couldn't perceive it because the message, though audible in my head, was projected externally - targeting a person/body part/thing seemingly separate from me.

I didn't know I was projecting.
It just seemed like an off-handed commentary.
Like a funny or random passing observation.

Last night, however, my passing observation was reflected back and I saw it for what it was.

Negative self-talk.
But I wasn't just being unkind to myself, I was being cruel.

As someone who associates and wears the labels of 'good' and 'nice' with pride, this was a shocking and disheartening revelation.

But also an encouraging one.

I finally cracked the code.

I got a glimpse into what's really going on behind layers and layers and layers of closed mind doors.

It's not pretty, but the fact that I saw - and recognized - it once, means that I'll be able to do it again.
And again and again and again.

Building up awareness with each occurrence so that in time I'll not only be able to catch it faster, but I'll be able to replace the messaging with something more kind, loving, and helpful.