Day 237: They're Already There

Ooh, cryptic title - spooky.

I did a guided YouTube meditation this morning and the following message came to my mind:

"I don't need to come up with details - I just need to pick them out.
 They're already there."

If you're like me, you put a lot of undue pressure on yourself. 

Pressure to figure things out.
Pressure to do things perfectly.
Pressure to know the outcome before things have even started.

A classic psych-out move of mine is to think 'if I don't know all of the details about something, I won't know how to move forward with it.'

On occasion this may be true, but generally it's just a stalling tactic.

And I'm coming to find, it happens most often when I don't trust myself . . . which has been happening a lot lately . . .

The past few days of reflection have allowed me to make the connection (actually, in this very moment of writing) that my missing self-trust is directly tied to the amount of force I've been exerting.

If you read my post from Day 235, you'd remember that there are always periods in life where things slow down - and might stop entirely. As humans living in the modern world, this often feels counter-productive. Especially when trying to start something new.

So what do we do when things aren't moving on their own?
We try to force them.
We try to push through - until we get where we think we 'should be.'

The thing is - there is no place we 'should be,' there's just 'where we are.'

Every one of us has a unique path with unique twists and turns. Some benchmarks may resembles those outlined by society and others definitely will not. Some of the recognizable pit stops will happen at the 'right time' - the time western culture says they should, and some will not.

What I'm getting at is - everything that you experience, and the speed you experience it at, is right for YOU.

We look at those around us and see the movement they are making and yet we are often blind to our own progress.

It is in these moments when trusting ourselves is most important.

It is in these moments that we can use a reminder that we don't have to "come up" with anything - details, solutions, or whatever your word of choice is.

The things we need - the things we seek - are already there.

And if we allow them come to us . . . we get to just pick them out.

Day 236: Ownership

Part of growth is ownership.

Of our past experiences, present situations, thoughts, actions, and mindsets.

I think deep, conscious learning is not possible without taking ownership.
Acknowledging and understanding one's role in all things.

Taking ownership allows us to recognize the control we have [had] in all situations. As well as acknowledge the existence of choice - no matter how slim.

Easier said than done, but that's why it is a practice.
Ownership is a practice in self-awareness.
If we don't have self-awareness, we cannot take ownership of ourselves or actions.

Yet, ownership is only part of the equation when it comes to growing as a person.
With ownership also comes the need for responsibility.

I've seen this presented as the idea of response-ability. One's ability to respond differently going forward.

I resonate more with the idea of responsibility as the ability to take a new perspective to view things.
With a different perspective different responses are possible - and so is a greater sense of openness.

Openness to thoughts, opinions, and actions different than one's own.

With such openness we can hold space for differing views and feelings than our own, recognizing every person will experience the same situation in a different way.

With openness we can validate and learn from the experiences of others, without any pressure or compulsion to defend or convince of our own viewpoints.

With openness everyone has a right to be - just as they are.

And it all starts with the practice of taking ownership where it matters most - with ourselves.

Day 235: Falling Leaves Rest

Sometimes we've gotta fall so that we can recharge.

Just as leaves fall from the trees when winter comes, bringing with it rest,
So must we take periods of pause.

Growth comes in phases. And part of growth is rest.

 

Heart-shaped leaves. 

A reminder of love. 

We have to experience a fall at times

In order to grow later.

Day 234: Chasing a good life

'Chasing a good life' is the name of this fun filter thing.   

It's fun and enjoyable, but after a few minutes it starts to seem loud, obnoxious, and a bit repetitive. (Or maybe that's just me 👵)  

None of which represent a 'good life' - at least by my definition.  

So perhaps, rather than chasing a good life, we should strive to cultivate a good life, instead.   

One that gives us energy, excitement, motivation, peace and calm.  

Cultivation - or growth - takes time.
It also takes, nurturing, awareness, and intention.  

Want to live a 'good life' that lasts longer than a phase?   

Let's talk!!!  

Your inner daredevil will thank you - and so will your future self.

Day 233: Travel Companions

On the third day of Spooktober . . .

Forget small dogs in purses -
this season is all about connecting with the 'otherside'. 

- GET THE LOOK -

Make your own spooktacular fashion accessory (and companion).
All you need is:
- 1 or 2 small skeletons
- a plastic grocery bag
Just put skeletons in the bag and tie-up or zhuzh to your liking!

With this look, you're guaranteed to be the most fashionable rider on the bus.

Day 232: The Female Toupee

 

Is it or isn't it?

I don't know!

I think the uncertainty of the matter makes this sighting especially Spooky.
-------

But you want to know what's more spooky than a toupee - no matter who is wearing it?

Feeling like you need to look a certain way or change yourself in order to fit in or be accepted.

The invisible pressure - from some unidentifiable place - telling us that in some way, shape, or form we are not enough.

We all feel this at different times in life - All of us.
Every.
Single.
Human.

But, we don't have to carry the weight of this pressure. 

Instead, we can use it as a magnifying glass
- to more deeply explore the hidden beliefs and veiled thoughts we have about it
- to uncover and bring to light what we are making this pressure mean about us, individually

Cue horrific music - because this is where things get really scary . . . [When unearthing beliefs you didn't know you had]
'Oh, my gosh, did I really believe that having perfectly coiffed hair is the way to receive validation and self-worth - AND it only counts if it comes from others and not myself?! ?! I don't agree with that at all!!

But as the music and horrifying shock fades, and we are left with our own silence, we can then start to assess, dream, and create.

- How do these beliefs and thoughts limit me?
- What do I want my experience and life to be like in regards to this [particular pressure]?
- What is one small shift I can make (whether in thought or action) that would feel better to me?

The answers that come up, when we are brave enough to be honest with ourselves, will hold the keys to navigating a life with less pressure and less spooky.

Because when you are living a life that feels good to you, no one will ever question if it's a toupee.

Day 231: Ooh, Spooky

Halloween is in the air! 

That's right, people - it's October, and that means pumpkins, Pumpkins, PUMPKINS!
Well, I guess that's just fall

That means it's ghosts, cobwebs and SPOOKY!

Here are some first glimpses . . .

Maison Parisienne

Halsted Flowers, LLC

Nipple Eyes!!!

I don't know who this guy is, but he looks . . . very surprised!