Day 181: We are all rats

I saw a rat run across the sidewalk in front of me and hide underneath a parked car. 

I would be seeking refuge, too, if I were a rat. 

Rats are given a bad reputation. The collective thought being, "oh gross, a rat!" when seeing one.

Their reputation is 'being disgusting,' after all.

Have you ever had an experience where you were labeled something that had nothing to do with who you are or your characteristics? 

We are all rats. 

There's nothing inherently wrong with us. 

We are not gross. 

But we are often given labels by others. 

Just like rats.

And maybe we do eat garbage. 

And we may also spread disease. 

But this isn't our fault. 

The garbage and the disease comes from the environment in which we live.

I don't know the last time you took a look at the western social climate we live in, but it's not great.

We all ARE human. We are all living beings.

And we all have a place and a purpose.

We don't have to accept the labels put upon us.

We don't have to accept the same fate as rats.

Day 180: Delight

Yesterday afternoon my attention was caught by the sound of child giggles drifting through my open window.

Naturally, I went to investigate. 

I saw a little girl playing fetch with a neighbor dog in the back alley while her mom talked with the dog's owner.

Every time she threw the ball peals of laughter would erupt. Her delight in watching the outcome of her effortful throw followed by the dog taking flight was palpable. 

Whoa, when did I start grinning so widely? 

I felt like I could stand there for days, just watching this child play. 

Then I found myself thinking, "I bet this is one of the first times she's done this. I wonder if playing fetch with a dog is a new experience for her?"

The little girl eventually started chasing the ball herself, overcome with excitement in everything that was happening.

As a got my fill of observational-back-alley-window-creeping, I thought about how I personally recognize delight and experience it in my own life. This brief deconstruction revealed a number of details and [true to me] truths I hadn't before realized, such as:

I love the feeling of delight so much because it feels like you're experiencing something for the first time.

It doesn't matter if it's brand new or old hat - when you are delighted by something, there is such a sense of surprised joy. It's a single moment (or experience) that fills you with joy so instantly and unexpectedly, it surprises you.

And it's a wonderful surprise - probably the best feeling you could ever imagine - in a quick flash.

Much like a verbal exclamation of 'ouch!' (or other expletive) is the instant pain reaction to touching a hot pan, giggles are the joy reaction to delight.

Delight comes from the lack of expectations; being open to whatever the experience brings.
And it's when the unexpected occurs, that the magic happens.

Day 179: Glamour Shots

Tell your friends

Day 178: A new take on 'Life Crisis'

You've likely heard about someone having a quarter-life crisis or a mid-life crisis. Possibly even an end of life crisis.

Perhaps you, like me, have seen media portray this with men buying brand new sports cars and women dying their hair and completely changing their looks.

The vibe I've always gotten from this was more of a negative, judgemental one. A 'oh poor so-and-so, they can't handle their life so they are going to go out and do something "crazy,"' kind of feel.

But what if these crises aren't crazy at all? 

What if the people experiencing them are the most sane out of all of us?

Think about it, they are using a challenging time in their lives to acknowledge things they have always wanted or had an interest in and then going for it and making it happen.

Would we tell a child who has ambitions of being a world renowned mountain climber they're crazy? Or judge them for saving up to buy those really expensive hiking sticks they've been wanting only to use them for summer walks with Grandpa in the field? 

Probably not.

So why do we hate on ourselves and each other once we become adults? 

When did it become a bad or negative or crazy thing to acknowledge an interest and take action towards it?

I'm gonna put my money on jealousy. We see someone doing what they really want and are quick to throw labels on it. 

 

Why? Because deep down, we dont feel that we can do the same. We don't feel that we can have our wants or dreams, that we can't go after them.

Because we're adults and we have responsibilities, damnit!

But oftentimes, these 'responsibilities' are actually fears in disguise.

That's not to say that responsibility doesn't exist. Of course it does. But to the rigid and limiting degree that there is zero possible way life could allow you to explore a long-held interest or dream? 

I'm not buying it.

And neither should you.

Day 177: Mystery Fruits

Sometimes we don't know what the fruits of our efforts or deepest desires will be. 

Most of the time we can't see them until very far down the road.

But sometimes they start to grow and mature right in front of us, in plain sight.

And even if we can see them . . . what they will finish as may remain a mystery for a while.

Kind of like this picture. 

 

I don't know what this tree is or what is growing on it, but I imagine it will become more obvious in time.

 

And until that happens, I'll just enjoy the mystery and watching it unfold.

Day 176: Who Are You Pleasing?

I've been on my own personal growth journey for a little while now. But today I had a big realization of how I have been living my life.

By and large for the past 30 years, I have been living my life in a way that prioritizes pleasing and accommodating others. 

And let me tell you, that really gets in the way of one's ability to acknowledge - much less ask for - what one wants.

Because when you are functioning under the blueprint that your decisions need to always please other people, anything that strays from this feels wrong. To choose yourself first feels wrong. Like you will hurt others by your decision to choose yourself. 

But the reality is there's only one person actually living your life, taking care of your body, thinking your thoughts. 

And that's you - or in my case, me.

By that fact alone, choosing yourself first -prioritizing your wants, preferences and pleasures - is imperative for a happy and thriving life. Not just for you, but everyone around you.

When I was younger I often uttered the phrase "I aim to please!" in a joking way when saying or doing something that unintentionally made another person smile or laugh. Little did I know that what I said was absolutely true. 

 

I DID aim to please others - and I always had.

And it makes sense. Just think of the culture we live in in the US, with "the customer is always right" and "focus on the bottom line" mentality that is fed to us. We're constantly inundated with this idea that we need to do things to please or accommodate others. 

We're rarely shown an example of what it looks like to prioritize pleasing or accommodating oneself. And sadly, when we are, those involved are often [initially] labeled as trouble, rabble-rousers, revolutionaries, or anarchists. 

Not sure what I'm talking about? 

Think of the civil rights movement or the women's suffrage movement. These were both brought about by the desire and conviction for people to be able to live lives where they can be people - fully. Lives where they can make choices based on what is right and true for themselves rather than repressing their own wants and desires in order to further or soothe those of others.

It may seem like a bit of a drastic stretch but it paints the same picture. 

Choosing yourself first is important.

Your wants and preferences are important.   

Aim to please - starting with yourself.

Day 175: When Words Aren't Enough

When words aren't enough to get the message across . . .

. . . try adding a picture.

But in all seriousness, sometimes words aren't the right medium to fully deliver a message or meaning. Sometimes a different presentation or approach is necessary for something to really 'click.'

Think about a time when you were given the same information by multiple people. Did you ever notice that it wasn't until you heard it from a certain person - or had a specific experience - that the meaning of what everyone told you finally connected as intended?

It's the same concept as an idea my friend recently pointed out to me. "Graphic novels are really great for talking about difficult topics. They get the message across in a way words can't." 

I think the same can be said for life lessons and shifting outlooks. 

We can experience the same situation over and over and over again, but until we can interpret it in a new way we will never get the full meaning or message.