Day 131: Hair Wars

Crew: "The temperature's dropping fast, Captain!"

Captain: "Lower the windows!!"

 

- when cold air blows, the arm hair strikes back -

Day 130: Values Byproduct

hint... it's more values!

As I mentioned yesterday, over time our values can change. The timeline of such a change depends on the person, their situation, and their perspective.

 

Over the past few years, I've been going through a LOT of changes (perspective, mindset, confidence, self-worth, etc, etc). So I've checked in on several different occasions to see where my values were sitting.

 

A few days ago was my latest check-in. I was trying to remember the order of my last ranking but couldn't bring to mind which value rounded out the top 5. 

 

Remembering that I had made some values cards a while back, I pulled them out and looked over the 10 different values represented.

Instantly, I began arranging my top five.

 

Interesting - value #5 has changed!

 

What I realized after was that the remaining five values (peace/calm, achievement, passion, purpose, learning) can only be achieved when one or more of my top 5 are being carried out. 

 

For example, in order for me to feel fully at peace I need to feel a strong sense of connection and joy. Or, for me to experience passion I need creativity and humor leading the mix.

 

All other values in my life are the byproducts of living under the direction of my top values.

Wow!

Day 129: Values Compass

Two years ago, on my very first day of coach training with iPEC, we did an exercise I absolutely loved.

 

In the exercise we discussed the concept of values - the key aspects that guide what we do and how we do things.

 

We were given a list of values and told to pick our top 5.
I chose: 

- connecting to others

- creativity

- honesty

- joy

- respect

We then generated lists of the key descriptors of who we are. Again, picking out our top 5, then making sure they were in noun form. 

Mine were: 

- creative

- joy

- empathy

- optimism

- openness
(this is a sneaky way of tapping into your top values by thinking about what makes you, you)

How interesting! Some of the values I selected match with top descriptors of myself!

Next, we ranked, for a final time, our top five personal descriptors in order of importance - and added "I am" in front of each one.

My number one statement? I am Joy

 

Wow. I like that. It feels good! . . . Why can't I stop smiling?

 

I couldn't stop smiling because I had discovered a truth about myself. At my core and in my most authentic state of being, I am joyful. I am joy.

 

***************

 

As we go through life and time, some of our values will shift. But some will always stay the same. 

For me, Joy is a permanent value. 

Why does this matter? 

Because when we know what our values are we can use them as tools for making decisions, prioritizing, and even setting expectations.

 

When we know what our values are we are better able to authentically engage in and enjoy life.

Day 128: Mealworm Brownies

I had an aging zucchini in my fridge, amongst a number of other veggies in dire need of some attention.

I mentioned to my sister that I needed to use them up and she quickly suggested:

"You should make me zucchini brownies!" 

"Yeah, sure," I noncommittally replied. I don't think that either one of us really believed brownies were going to be made.

A few days later, to the surprise of us both, they WERE!

However, it wasn't without a few bumps along the way. As with most things in life.

Bump #1  .... I don't think I grated the zucchini fine enough

I used my food processor to grate the zucchini then put together the incredibly dry 'batter'. 

When I added the zucchini, something looked seriously off about what I saw.
"Oh my gosh, this looks like worms in dirt! It looks like mealworms - the yuckiest kind!"

But I kept mixing, skeptical that the geriatric zucchini would add enough moisture to turn the cocoa/flour dirt into anything other than powder.

Not only was I questioning the size of my zucchini shreds at this point, but also my choice of using coconut oil - an oil that hardens in cooler temperatures.
"But it was hot in my apartment! Surely it will work ok?!?"

Bump #2  .... I don't think I can call this brownie batter

So, the zucchini did NOT have enough moisture to wet the mixture into a sludge or even a large clump! And I had no idea what effect the coconut oil was having, if any.

It was time to call in reinforcements - several tablespoons of milk!

I used unsweetened coconut milk for the job. Seemed perfect since I had already used the coconut oil. Better stick with the same flavor profile, right?

I shake up the carton and pour in my first tablespoon (glug, glug).

I step away from the kitchen for a moment and quickly return to add tablespoon #2.
Glug, glug - ewww!! What is that white stuff?! Is that some sort of mold?!

I really don't know. What I do know is that I now had tiny white globs of something floating at the top of my tablespoon.

Does coconut milk have 'pulp'?? Is that why you're suppose to shake it? I questioned hopefully.

Clearly I wasn't too disturbed by the mysterious forms because, not only did I not care enough to look up the answer, but I felt the only action needed was to scoop off the white globs and continue with the few remaining tablespoons.

That did the trick - the batter was nice and moist!

Bump #3  .... hmm, maybe just a few more minutes

Nope! Didn't need a few more minutes. I over baked them. Not too bad, but the edges were certainly on the drier side (just begging for ice cream!).

When all was said and done - and I got a good piece from the middle - the brownies turned out Great! They were pretty moist and definitely delicious.

So why share the little details about this baking (mis)adventure? 

Because it's part of life. 

In every single experience we have, things will turn out different than we expect. It could happen at a particular step along the way. It could be an ultimate outcome.

Whatever happens, no matter what it is, is neither 'good' nor 'bad'. It is our interpretation and perspective of the situation or experience that makes it so.

When we are able to take a break from judging situations as soon as they deviate from what we want, we give ourselves the opportunity to fully experience the moment.

Take my mealworm brownie batter. It really looked disgusting to me. And I did not think it was going to turn out well at all, especially since it was so dry and powdery. 

Past Sarah might have gotten upset by the situation "[boo-hoo] I was just trying to do something nice for my sister (and my stomach) and it's not even working!"

But instead, I took in the situation objectively without judgement. And would you believe it? That allowed me to have fun in the situation I found myself!

What could have been a complaint was now a joke:

AND, it spurred an idea I otherwise never would have thought of - Coconut milk pulp.

Remaining open to whatever situations come your way is the key difference between eating mealworms and eating chocolate*.

*Or whatever it is that you like to eat.
Maybe it's the mealworms! If so, I'll give you my share.

Day 127: Real-time Bird Bath

I finally caught it in the act! 

By 'it' I mean a bird and by 'in the act' I mean bathing.

[GASP] You WATCHED someone else take a bath?!

No - I watched someone else get OUT of a bath.

Take a look for yourself! (please pardon my dirty window)

 

 

I think this Starling gives a good reminder that we always have access to exactly what we need. Though, it may look a bit different than what we envision in our mind's eye.

May we all be more like birds - finding our bathtubs in whatever place holds water (and gives a bit of privacy!)

Day 126: Life Changing vs. Life Confirming

I've always felt resistance to using the term 'life changing.'  It always sounded so cliche and didn't feel genuine to me.

When I think about it more, I suppose it's because I interpret it as an implied specific moment when life changed. As if a switch was flipped and things were suddenly different. 

Now I can certainly see how this phrasing would apply to say, childbirth, but in situations of personal view and perspective shifts, I just can't make the leap.

Because to me, there is no switch. There is no obvious 'this' or 'that.' To me, perspective shifts are gradual, albeit with some occasional attention grabbers.

It's because of this gradation and complexity of life circumstances that I more strongly connect with the idea of 'life confirming' [events].

This implies a journey. 

This implies exploration and curiosity.

This implies learning and growth.

This implies the human experience.

- At least, it does to me.

I think about my own life experiences. One of the most prominent was my time living and working in Uganda. 

Was it life changing? No.
Was it life confirming? Yes.

So, what's the difference?

It wasn't life changing because it didn't change my view of life (though it undeniably influenced aspects). It didn't make me rethink how I'm living or want to go down a completely new path.

It did, however, confirm some hunches, interests, and inner desires that I had been mildly aware of for some time. It did validate my decision [to go to Africa] and the choices I'd made up to that point in life. And it confirmed in profound ways the inner longings of my heart.

I didn't need to change with this experience. In fact, the exact opposite of change was required - I was called to become even more myself.

Even though I didn't understand it.
Even though I didn't know what the intense feelings of passion and emotion meant.
Even though I was indeed changing - it was to become closer to who I really am.

A shift towards my truest self.

With life changing you hear the alarm and receive the wake-up call.

With life confirming you see how it connects to who you already are.

Day 125: Autopilot Mishaps

 

Yuck! 

This was my Saturday night. I went to my friend Sam's house for a chill dinner hangout. 

"They sprayed my apartment for cockroaches recently, so I've been seeing a lot more as they come out to die," Sam shared with me.

I didn't think much of this - seemed reasonable to me. We live in a city, afterall. 

We barely registered the daylight's slow disappearance until we went to the kitchen for water.

That's where it happened.

Where I saw something on the ground, immediately assumed it was food, reached down and picked it up.

It was not food.

I didn't know that until after my friend told me - which was also after I felt the wet squishy-ness between my fingers.

I had been running on autopilot.

This gross experience is a PERFECT illustration of what living on autopilot is like - and results in.

Imagine going through life in the dark - you know, like a kitchen with no west facing window, at dusk.

You can make things out around you, but it's not super clear, and there are a lot of assumptions flying about. 

In autopilot, it often feels you're at the mercy of whatever situation or circumstance you find yourself in. It can seem like you don't have much choice or control over what comes your way in life.

But there's one way to change all of this.

Turn on the light.

To turn on the light is to drop assumptions, try on different perspectives, and check your self-awareness.

It may sound like a lot, but really it's not. Turning on the light can start with something as simple as a question. Such as . . .

But how do I know it's a piece of food?

Don't be like me.

Avoid picking up cockroaches. Take the short pause needed to make sure you can really see.