Day 12: Gyoza Knows Best

While quickly preparing some frozen gyoza and thinking about the resistance I have towards using social media for my coaching business, I had an important realization. 

I feel resistance and negative judgement towards it because . . . I don't really understand how to use it!

When was I born, 1920?! 

. . . I guess it's just never been a strong interest in my life.

 
As I looked down I spotted a giant 'S' on the plate. I viewed it as if it were my superhero symbol, confirming my next steps and future success.

Ok, I can learn whatever I need! Now, time to eat!

Well. . . eventually. Those suckers got really firm in the microwave and refused to release the paper towel.

I guess gyozas just be like that. 

....but I think that's normal, there's no way I could have done anything wrong ......

Day 11: Haircut

I've been thinking about getting a haircut, lately. Like, chopping my moderately-long hair all off with a short cut.

Yeah but, why does she slick her hair back EVERY day, though?

I was so tickled by the thought of getting a short haircut and slicking it back as my styling choice (once, let alone every day), that I was compelled to capture it. 

. . . Perhaps it's something to consider . . . I think I'll have to work up to it, though. Maybe starting with a bob . . .

Day 10: Choose Yourself

I'm coming to find that one of the bravest acts we can take on a day to day basis is choosing ourselves.

Now, I'm not talking about the "I've been waiting the longest at the bus stop so I should get on first!" kind of mentality. 

There's no entitlement involved with the choice I'm referring to. But rather, consideration - of everyone - through the prioritization of ourselves.

Prioritize 'ME' to strengthen the 'WE'.

When we really pay attention to what feels best, works best, sounds best for US to function as individual beings - and honor that - everybody wins.

Because when you you feel good, you do good. And when you do good the world becomes better.

So make sure YOU feel good. Listen to yourself, your body, your intuition and honor what it tells you - even if it means saying 'no' to others at times. 

The ultimate outcome of prioritizing yourself will ALWAYS far surpass that of putting yourself and your needs last.

Day 9: The Ease-y Life

I like the saying, 'Life is an inside job.' 

I take this to mean that how your life goes is up to you. 

You get to call the shots, you get to decide if you want the 'hook-ups' of an easy life - excuse me, I meant an ease-y life.

The Merriam Webster Dictionary tells us that for something to be 'easy' it:
     : causes or involves little difficulty or discomfort
     : requires or indicates little effort, thought, or reflection

So an 'easy life' would be one where nothing was challenging or unexpected and you never had to try, think, or reflect on the past. For some that might sound like a dream. But for me, that sounds like a boring and unfulfilling life.

This is probably because my view of an easy life, uses a different definition - and spelling.  

My ease-y life is built upon the 2nd definition of 'easy,' again, from the Merrian Webster Dictionary.
      : without undue speed or excitement 
      : without worry or care

Imagine a slower life. Not in the sense of boring and physically slow, but rather in the way you think and feel about things. There is rarely a flurry of anxious thoughts during times of change or friction. Nor is there a trail of hurried decisions. Moments of indecision are met with patience and curiosity. Emotions are deliberate, never rushed, and always welcomed - positive, negative, and neutral. Pressure and stress are rare visitors and confidence and belief in oneself is the norm.

What would would it be like to live in this world??! 

 

What would change for you?

 

I think I'm beginning to find out . . . 

 

Over the past six months I've been doing a lot of work getting to know myself better. So far, these are my biggest gains:

• I'm becoming more and more aware of my thoughts everyday and how they affect my emotions and actions. 
• I'm unearthing a LOT of horrifying (to me) beliefs I didn't even know I had, and THANK GOODNESS! Because now that I'm aware of them I can change them!
• I'm MUCH less prone to falling victim to my emotions (and I've always been a very sensitive person!)
• I'm better able to catch and disassemble my people-pleasing tendencies
  
• I'm more confident in my skills, abilities, and in myself as a human
• I've experienced a notable decline in my caring of what others think [of me] 
• I'm choosing and prioritizing myself fully for the first time in my life - and LOVING my time by myself. Guess what? You know that feeling you have when you're out with friends or on a date and having a wonderful time and don't want the night to end? You can have that same feeling with YOURSELF. I know because I've experienced it firsthand, and let me tell you - it's awesome!!!
• I feel the happiest I have ever felt in my life. Which seems crazy, and kind of sad to say (because it illuminates how unhappy I really was in previous periods of life). But it's also incredibly exciting because I know life is only going to get BETTER! 

If this is just the entry way of The Ease-y Life, I cannot wait until I'm fully in it.  Sarah's World has officially leveled up. Come join me in The Ease-y Life, you won't regret it.

Wait, what's that adorable little stick figure person? How do you join me in The Ease-y Life? Well that's simple - it all starts with coaching! Start HERE.

 

Day 8: Self-Care Ssssss-anyday!

 Some days ya gotta just do the things that will make you feel good! Whether good in the moment or after the fact. That's what I did, as seen documented below.

Twas the middle of the day on a weekend not long ago. I thought to myself: 

'Boy are my feet looking ROUGH!!' (quite literally).
'Maybe I'll give 'em a nice soak and file 'em down . . . and maybe I'll even paint my toes . . . oh, and I could to a face mask, too!'

My excitement began to grow. 

At first it was fueled by the after-result I could expect, re-energized and smooth feet. But as the process began, a different type of pleasure began to take hold. Starting with putting on the face mask.

 I don't know about you, but I always find sheet masks so soul-tickling. Who wouldn't want to see what they look like with a white mustache and beard and gray eyebrows?! I couldn't help but giggle.

Next up, my tootsies. The warmth of the water felt so nice as I placed my feet in, swishing them around. I'm glad they got to hang out in their bath for a while, because I needed that time to muster up the mental strength for what was about to come next. Rubbing them down with my pumice stone.  

I didn't want to do it. It's a lot of extra effort (to me) and it's not super enjoyable. And yet - once I got started I gained a great sense of satisfaction and happiness for doing something nice and nurturing for myself.

I don't know about you, but I find I am way less gentle, compassionate, and caring towards myself than I am towards others. 

Why???

It seems odd when I really think about it. I have this ONE body to last me my entire life!* I can't trade it in for a new model like a car. I can't build on an extension like with a house. I just have this vessel - and boy is it important!

Caring for ourselves doesn't just mean taking care of the physical body (though we should all probably give our feet, in particular, a lot more love than we currently do). It also means taking care of our emotional self, mental self, and spiritual self (whatever that means to you). All of these pieces are connected and if one area is struggling it will eventually show up in all of the others.

I'm going to make a conscious effort to be more caring towards myself on a regular basis, and I hope you will join me. 

Maybe we start small and tell ourselves one thing we appreciate about ourselves as we look at our flawless bedhead in the mirror each morning.

Or perhaps we pause for a deep breath and give ourselves a quick - or long - tight hug each afternoon.

Who knows, maybe we even try out watching, listening, or reading something each day or week that makes us feel good and uplifted?!

Self-care is fluid, there's no one way to do it - or a right way to do it. The main thing is it feels good to you in your mind, body, and soul. If you're alive right now, you deserve to care for yourself. What's stopping you?

*Concept credit to the incredible Elsa Fouquette, my good friend and future old lady motivational speaker partner

Day 7: Secret Plan

 I've seen a shifty character around and I think he's up to no good . . .

His eyes have that deadened look, yet you somehow know there's more going on inside. Like he's tired of people walking all over him and at any minute he's going to snap.

I see him several times a week, if not nearly every day. The crazy thing is, we've never said a word to each other . . .

Today I spotted proof of a secret plan.

I might consider carrying a trash can lid with me as I pass by his domain . . . or just run. At least until the snow melts . . .

Day 6: The Laugh

If asked, I could recall a handful of times throughout my life where I've thought, "I love this person's laugh!" I could not bring to memory a time when I had consciously thought the opposite.

Until last night.

*****

I live in a pretty noisy apartment building. I didn't realize how loud it really was until I stayed somewhere that was quiet. The noise has to be the result of  thin and poorly insulated walls, floors, and ceilings. (The only fathomable alternative being that ALL of my neighbors intentionally yell constantly and stomp whenever they walk.)

Regardless of the reason for the noise, I hear a lot of it. For a long time I didn't really mind it too much and could easily tune it out. That was until I heard . . . IT. 

A noise I can't even begin to describe, but I'll try. It was loud, off-putting, and similar to that of someone trying to hock up a dry loogie, repeatedly.

It was . . . a laugh! 

And it created the strangest response I've ever experienced when hearing one.
I've had my fair share of laugh-hearing that's resulted in a visceral reaction of some kind (shoulders tense, stomach tightens, eyes bulge, lips curl in disgust). Yet in those moments, the physical movements clouded over any thought.

Last night, however, there was only the thought. "I hate your laugh." 

Twas strange! I would have expected some physical sensation to have partnered up, but that wasn't the case. Thoughts were going solo, tonight.

Or maybe it was something else . . . 

I've been doing a LOT of self-coaching lately. And I must say, I have Really built up my awareness to the thoughts that are actually going through my head. Like a monitoring system to check that each thought is helpful for me - and what I actually believe [vs what I've been told, taught, or shown by others/society].

Thoughts are only the first step in the 3-Part Response System (a name I just made up), a process that takes you from a stimuli of some kind (hearing, seeing, touching, etc) to a resultant action. This typically happens so rapidly that we're not aware of any processing that is happening, let alone a 3-step process made up of a Thought, Emotion, and then Action. 

For example, in the past upon hearing a displeasing laugh the process would have rapidly flown through the following steps:
  Sarah hears someone laugh -
     1) Thought: "I don't like that sound"
     2) Emotion: Disgust
     3) Action: Pinched up face and shoulders

Was it possible, that I'd finally learned how to slow down my response system so I can break the steps apart and then decide the emotion and action that followed?!

Yes.

WHat?!?! That's a thing? Deciding what I think or feel about a situation rather than responding to any and every circumstance by default?! Wow. 

This is was a challenging concept for me to originally wrap my mind around, but once I did things in my life started to change pretty prominently. It's been a slow build in this skill area, but it's SO exciting to be able to see the progress I've made. 

Interested in learning steps to directing your own 3-Part Response System? Then keep reading my stories! Or consider exploring the world of coaching, and I can be your guide!