Day 330: Proving Yourself

Proving yourself is more effort than it's worth.

Seriously, it takes an insane amount of effort.

And causes so much unnecessary stress!

Just being around someone who feels the need to prove themself can produce stress energy that is palpable; others can feel the vibe.

What if instead of feeling the push to prove ourselves we felt the pull to explore ourselves? To try new things, to get out of our comfort zone, to learn and grow?

Despite what it may seem, life isn't about achieving, accomplishing, or proving.

Life is about learning, experiencing, and living.

 

What does that even mean???

What does that even feel like???

 

Why not test it out?
Next time you're feeling pushed to prove - pull back.  

Try replacing the push to 'prove' with the pull to do something else - perhaps experience, learn or explore.

 

"I want to accomplish something"  -->  'I want to experience something'
"I have something to prove"  -->  'I have something to learn'

"Achievement will make me happy"  -->  'Exploration will make me happy'

What feels different about those statements?

To prove is to justify - to yourself or someone else.

To explore is to embrace - the known and the unknown of yourself or others.

Day 329: Friday the 13th

It's a notoriously spooky day, people! 

. . . Friday the 13th . . .

What out-of-the-ordinary thing do you think is going to happen in your day?!

But remember - what you expect (and believe deep inside) is what you will experience.

That's not true. We won't experience something just because we expect it...

Oh, no?
Probably not if you only expect it - but if you deeply believe it, that's another story.

Why do you think there are people that buy into a bunch of different conspiracy theories? Because they believe it and look for proof of it.

Why do you think people feel they will never do/have/be 'as good as others'? Because they believe it and look for proof that they won't - fueling the self-fulfilling prophecy.

Why do you think weird things happen on Friday the 13th? Because we think, thus put into motion, that they will.

Our minds are powerful.
We are powerful.

Not so much in a 'fantastical-magic-and-super-powers' sort of way (though who knows, maybe that's true, too).

But in a 'we-are-capable-of-so-much-more-than-we-can-even-imagine-and-yet-we-are-constantly-restricting-ourselves' sort of way.

Once we start letting go of these restrictions, we can then start to learn -
how to use our minds
how to use our thoughts
how to use our power
-for good. 

Because when we allow ourselves to seek our own good, it extends out to the world - and everything changes.

Using power "for good" does not mean being selfless, putting others before yourself, or doing what you think a "good person" would do.

Using power "for good" means getting in tune with YOURSELF. Paying attention to what feels good to you - physically, emotionally, spiritually and prioritizing that. Seeking THAT out.

Because when we feel good - genuinely good (not due to a 'quick fix,' distraction, or escape) - we spread those good vibes all around us.

So, I'll say it again, what you expect and believe deep inside is what you will experience.

The thing is, you first have to believe.

Again, I'm definitely - mostly - talking about personal beliefs and what is possible for you, by you, as you when you reach a place of actually believing it's true. When you reach a place of believing [in] yourself.

Now that's an idea that might sound even spookier than Friday the 13th!

But, that's ok - because we love novelty.
And variety novelty is the spice of life, after all.

Now go make your life spicy!

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Feeling a little afraid or skeptical of experimenting with more spice?
Let's talk and we can figure out the perfect blend together!

Day 328: Gradual Perfection

I've said before that perfection doesn't exist . . .
But check out these nails!

 

 

Here, let me give you a closer look . . .

I mean - look at those clean lines!
They're almost as good as my lipstick application . . .
but I'll save that share for another day.

As illustrated above, perfection is not found in my nail polish application (shocking, I know).

Sure, I could have gone around the edge of every nail to touch it up and get it as close to 'perfect' as possible, but I didn't need to.

The reason being, with the passing of time imperfections and minor errors fade away. They seem to disappear - as any human who has painted their nails and then washed their hair can attest to.

This isn't only true of trivial, tangible things, but learnings as well.

When we start something new or try something different there are bound to be struggles, pitfalls, unintended outcomes, or unmet expectations. These things all come with learning,
with practicing,
with growing.

Over time these undesirable growing pains gradually subside, leaving us with more know-how, more confidence, and overall 'cleaner lines.'

When have you experienced this type of improvement over time?
What was it about you that made this positive progression possible?
And how might it serve you to apply these insights to a current endeavor?

 

Here's to trusting that time is always on our side, when we are willing to learn, and striving for continuous improvement rather than chasing perfection!

Day 327: Novelty

What is one thing guaranteed to make attention stick, excitement build, and curiosity soar?

Novelty.

The new, the original, the unusual.

I came across this TEDx Talk recently and the section on novelty really stood out to me.

The speaker was discussing ways in which we can increase our happiness. The concept of novelty was encouraged to be used in areas of life that seem to be anything but novel. Such as people we know well and see every day, things we do with routine familiarity and autopilot - you know, the pillars of American life:

- family

- work

The things that are not so easy to change or refresh when we start to feel bored or blind to them.

Or are they?

Gratitude and appreciatiation are toted as being key to grounding ourselves and being present in the moment. I certainly believe this is true.

Yet, I've now learned there is another trick (or tool, depending on how you look at it) available to us.

Novelty.

Plus a bit of imagination.

The idea is that when we set ourselves (brains) up to think something along the lines of, 

"oh, wow, I get to go home and see my family- I haven't seen them in 8 whole hours!" 

rather than 

"well, work's over, time to go home to predictable people and routine," 

we prime our brains for novelty. We prime our brains to see the novel in the familiar.

Which, in turn, may actually heighten appreciation and gratitude for the very items we are focusing on.

Adding novelty to a situation is really another way of saying or thinking about changing one's perspective. It takes effort, it takes time, and it takes practice.

It takes - that's for sure. And then it gives.

More than we can imagine.

Day 326: Dream Big

 

 

  

Day 325: Small Reminders

Sometimes you receive unexpected confirmation of how great you are 😜.
Roll with it!

I'm planning on sharing this with my sisters as fun joke. I wonder what their reactions will be?!

All jokes aside, there are reminders, validations, and confirmations all around us attesting to our best traits or qualities with the intention of bringing us back - and hopefully closer - to ourselves.

We can choose to ignore them or down play them.
Or, we can try something different.
We can try accepting them with open arms (figuratively speaking. Unless you feel compelled to stretch out those arms!). We can try out acknowledging and appreciating ourselves in the moment.

If we did that regularly, what would change in our world?

If you did that regularly, what would change in your life?

If you do it today, what might change in the rest of your day and the week?

Try it out and see for yourself. What have you got to lose?

Day 324: True Love

 "When I want for you what you want for you, then I truly love you. When I want for you what I want for you, then I am loving me, through you."

Dang. I read this and had to take a long pause.
And then read it again, several more times.

What an idea.
What a total toss out the window of anything close to an "I know better" mentality.

"So, too, by the same measure, can you determine whether others love you, and whether you truly love others. For love chooses naught for itself, but only seeks to make possible the choices of the beloved other."

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Did you think about it, yet? How you love based on the above measurement criteria?

Yeah, . . . can't say all of my love's been true, that's for sure . . .
And neither has all the love I've received.

But what if it was?
What if it could be?

I think it can.
Or at the very least, I think we can increase the amount of true love we give.

And I think it starts with awareness.
Awareness of what we want ourselves.
And further awareness that the different wants of others don't negate, lessen, or override our own.

Different wants can live in harmony.

Because when you dig down far enough, they all root from the same place.
Can you guess what that place is??

Love.

Wants are an expression of love - albeit, sometimes incredibly beat-up, cryptic, and/or misleading expressions.

Still having trouble getting on this band wagon?

Consider holding up the binoculars for your awareness.
To zoom in on the deep emotional want attached to every outer, expressed want.

When the emotional want is revealed, no one can argue with it. It can't be wrong.
Because emotional wants are universal - we can all relate to them.
Yet, we can all interpret them differently.

This is why perspective, in addition to awareness, is needed to give love that is true.

In what areas could you benefit from a perspective shift, if even just to try it out?

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For anyone wondering, the topic quotes today were pulled from an early page of Conversations with God: Book 3. Intrigued by what you read? Consider checking out the book yourself - or wait for my later coming commentary on whatever else jumps out at me!