It's my default answer to any question about my preferences in music or media. But I wasn't very clear on the details of why.
Wednesday, November 30, 2022
Day 285: BHAG
It's my default answer to any question about my preferences in music or media. But I wasn't very clear on the details of why.
Tuesday, November 29, 2022
Day 284: Sadness = missing details
Sadness* is too vague for me.
As someone who requires a lot of details in
order to more fully understand something, sadness is my least favorite
emotion.
Monday, November 28, 2022
Day 283: Friend Types
Or more specifically, how you categorize what the people you know mean to you?
These are the people . . . I know.
I know who they are and they know/remember me.
Maybe I've known them for a long time, maybe it's only been a short while.
Generally, these are the people who are identified by how I know them [i.e. classmate, coworker, person on the bus] rather than who they are to me.
Friends
Sunday, November 27, 2022
Day 282: Overshare
Saturday, November 26, 2022
Day 281: Mindset: Dating vs Promotion
I've been writing about dating a lot, it feels like, over the past few months.
But that's because I've been learning so much from it!!
Like, in other areas of life . . . outside of dating.
The most prominent learning to date (no pun intended) - is in creating my own coaching business.
I had a session with my coach, Audrey, in which we used the learning I've gained from shifting my beliefs and approach to dating and applied it to my business. More specifically, promoting my coaching services and attracting my ideal client.
I have some pretty deep limiting beliefs that are getting in the way of me feeling comfortable and at ease when it comes to self-promotion. But crazily enough, the steps to work through them seem to be same as I have learned to take in dating.
It starts with the mindset.
Since mindset plays a huge role in just getting out of the gate, it can be helpful to identify one in which you already feel confident and comfortable.
Once you have that mindset in mind, describe it.
I explained to Audrey, "with the mindset I have about dating - it's not a need, it's a bonus. I have a clearer idea of how I feel and want to show up in life. And this helps me to navigate new connections - measuring if they amplify or detract from how I want to feel."
So, identifying how you want to feel and having a set of criteria you can use to measure that feeling, in order to direct your next steps.
After that we briefly explored the question, What am I seeking to gain?
Or as Audrey rephrased it, What would light the fire in you?
Or as I'm thinking about it now, What makes me come alive?
For me, it's passion.
Doing anything I'm passionate about lights my fire and makes me come alive. And the thing I'm most passionate about is coaching. But more specifically, it's:
- personal development
- exploration of self
- making the world better for oneself and others
To be completely honest, I don't light up at the name of 'coaching,' but it encapsulates the pieces that do set me ablaze, so it will do for now.
Next, I was asked who came to mind when I thought about my ideal client.
I hesitated to answer, not trusting what just popped into my head.
It was my younger self, past Sarah.
This isn't an uncommon thing. Humans, by and large, want to do something connected to their own lived experience.
Despite this, my hesitation continued. 'Is it ok for my ideal client to be myself?'
Hazey had made her entrance.
But not soon enough, as we were already to the next step of breaking down the imagined person into key characteristics.
Characteristics of past Sarah:
- people pleaser
- finding it hard to say 'no'
- not knowing what she wants
- not feeling fulfilled
- thinks others need to be put before herself
- doesn't know how to say 'yes' to herself
We were reaching the end of our session by this point and I now had,
1) a more helpful mindset
2) criteria for how I want to feel: passionate (but also inspired and energized)
3) criteria on what I'm looking for (client-wise): [above]
I was then tasked with the assignment of describing past Sarah and giving her story - which I am procrastinating on by writing this blog post.
. . . But, at least it got me thinking about it!!
It's only a [short] matter of time before -
"Hey, World! This is me and this is what I'm looking for!"
Friday, November 25, 2022
Day 280: Take Get Wish Want
Now that Thanksgiving is over and we've turned the page on gratitude, it's a great time to put a spotlight on something else.
Expectations.
I was reflecting on some things - as I do, because I love having myself a good think - and the theme of 'expectations' kept popping up.
Expectations touch every facet of life and will have the same formula no matter the topic. For me, the topic of focus during my Turkey Day Morning Think was relationships and how I approach them.
Or more specifically, how I approach dating.
For a long time, I sought out what I thought I wanted.
No, scratch that - I didn't seek anything out. I let things come to me because I didn't know what I wanted (or that I had the autonomy to choose, for that matter).
But what I could get was never what I wanted.
And despite not knowing exactly what that was, I did have a vague idea of what it wasn't. Armed with this realization, I would continue on wishing for things to be different and the situation to magically become what I actually wanted.
In my previous dating experiences, low self-esteem and social conditioning played a HUGE role in my behavior and situational tolerance.
Expectations of things we would do, expectations of how we connect, even expectations of how I'd feel about myself.