Day 144: Innocent, yet inappropriate sounding quotes

I found a list I had written in Uganda - a decade ago. 

It was hilarious quotes of mine and Katie's that would have sounded inappropriate taken out of context. So here they are, largely out of context. 

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“Cat, get out of my pants!”
[self-explanatory] But, in case it's not. At the house we rented there was a cat named Meow. If memory serves, Meow was getting cozy with a pair of Katie's leggings on the floor.

“If you come between my legs one more time, I’m going to squeeze you!!!”
[Me to the cat rubbing in between my legs]

“Come to mama”
[squeezing into the back of the car]

“Are you down for some action?” ‘I’m down for some action!’
[watching Mission Impossible]

“I need some more juice for my stick”
[usb internet modem]

“Should we take this to the bedroom?”
[cookie dough and parks & rec]

“Don’t worry, I don’t need you to take my bra off for me. I can do it with one hand.”
[Katie hurt her wrist so she can only really use one]

Meow!!! . . . Please, Make It Stop

Apparently the idea of not not living with annoying cats for the next few months was a false one (no offense Leana). The apartment above Lori's, which we are temporarily living in, also houses the cat of the former resident. I forgot this.

Meet Meow. 

(She's more terrifying in this picture than real life. And yes, that is a cat-aract in her right eye - pun intended)

And believe me, the name could not be more appropriate . . . unfortunately for us. I made the mistake of petting her one evening and now she's taken to following me around the house and meowing loudly. The other night I forgot to close my bedroom door, remembering during dinner. That's strike one. 'She'll probably be in our room when we get back,' I'd jokingly thought to myself. Strike 2 for Sarah. Later that night Katie and I walk into our room, turn on the light and barely see Meow as she runs lightning quick off of my bed and out of the room.
"She was laying on my bed!!!!" I cried (only realizing after it came out I'd totally channeled Buster from Arrested Development 'it walked on my pillow!!!').

The next day before I'd gotten out of bed, I heard Tara through the door. "The cat pooped on my dress!!! I was going to wear this today!" Apparently Meow was mad that Tara didn't let her into her room the previous night and decided to let her have it. So it seems that not only is Meow super annoying, but vindictive too.

As a safe guard for myself, I've decided to threaten never to pet her again should she do something like that to my things. We'll see how well that works out . . .

Looks relatively innocent in this picture, huh?