Day 213: Exploring Self-Kindness

Over the past year I have learned how unkind I am to myself.

And it was quite a shocking thing to learn. 

I never thought I was mean to myself.

 

I never consistently put myself down, thought I was worthless, or would never amount to anything in life. 

 

However, I didn't really believe that I could do anything. 

 

Most of the things I delighted in, for a variety of 'reasons,' could only ever be interests for me. While others could make a career out of something that I enjoyed, for me it would always remain just 'something I liked.'

No, I was meant for "bigger and better things."

Impactful things. 

Things that are clearly known for impacting and changing the lives of others. More altruistic things. Like nonprofits or social services.

What I didn't realize was that this belief & viewpoint was very limiting to myself. And it was also secretly holding me back from happiness I had never experienced before.

It's true I was rarely outright mean or cruel to myself... But, isn't restricting your own happiness not very ... nice?

Over the past eight months I learned that the ideas that floated into my head telling me "that interest I enjoy I will never turn into a career," or "I love watching stand up but I don't do that" - were actually veiled ways of putting myself down.

I was consistently struggling with indecision and second-guessing myself. 

My connection to my intuition was almost non-existent. 

I would wait to make decisions until seeking out the opinion of others. 

And I would always keep to myself the art, creations, and expression of my inner world rather than sharing them openly (which is what I desperately wanted).

 

My unkindness towards myself, though discreet, was actually breaking down the trust I had in myself. And rather than allowing myself freedom and space to do and explore what I felt pulled towards, I restricted my movement so I could fit into the boxes and criteria of others. (Or what I believed they were.)

In the restriction of ourselves, we lack kindness. 

It is a very subtle and almost imperceptible act. But when we get right down to the core of things, to be kind and loving towards oneself means:

- to acknowledge all of the strengths and goodness that resides within us

- to acknowledge and encourage any dream, interest, or desire that lives deep inside

To be truly kind to oneself is to look towards - and for - every opportunity to enhance our happiness in life.

Period.

If you've ever had the thought "I would never say something like that to one of my friends" and yet you find yourself saying something like that to yourself - chances are you could be a bit kinder.

And the reality of this is we're all oblivious to how we treat ourselves!

We live in our body every second of every day for our entire lives. We are too close to the situation to be able to get an objective view. Unless acted on by an outside force - thanks Sir Isaac (Newton).

That's where Sarah's World comes in.

That's where I come in. 

That's where you come in. 

 

Let's explore what life could be like from a different angle. 

Let's explore how life and happiness could feel different. 

Let's explore who we really are, deep down, when we are completely open, honest, and vulnerable with ourselves.

It is from these explorations that true kindness, compassion, belief, and love for oneself grow.

In living life, we are not doing anything wrong. 

In exploring ourselves, we open up new paths to live in a way that feels right.