Day 54: If it's not a 'yes' ...

 How many times have we heard the saying:

"If it's not a 'Yes' it's a 'no'"?

Or something along those lines.

I, for one, have heard it MANY times. Over the most recent years, it's been the iteration of 'if it's not Hell Yes, it's a no.' For some reason that version never connected with me. Probably because I can recall very few times when it came to making a decision where I had been met with such strong conviction.

However, the milder version I can work with. Especially when I find myself in the weeds with 'Maybe.'

Oof, Maybe is a slippery sucker. The type of slick I often struggle navigating.

I suppose that's why there's also the saying about 'maybe meaning no.'

My favorite iteration of this can be found in the Jack Johnson song, Flake. "It seems to me that 'maybe' pretty much always means 'no.'"

[Thinks for a bit] . . . Yep, that checks out -'maybe' DOES pretty much always mean 'no.'

I mean, not exclusively, but generally - yeah.

Guess that means I could use this saying as a helpful decision making tool, as well.

Or, dare I say it, I combine the two sayings?!

"If it's not a 'yes' it's a 'no'; and if it's a 'maybe' it's also a 'no' - depending on how much I care about it or if I'm trying to avoid a certain feeling by giving a specific answer."

Wow, really rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?! 

So it could use some work, but it gets at an important point.

We often - or at least I often - avoid making decisions because I either:

1 - don't (believe I) have strong feelings either way about something, or

2 - I'm trying to avoid a certain feeling because I think giving a direct answer will cause another person's [less than positive] feelings

This whole topic came to me as I was washing dishes. And I'm glad it did, because it spurred me to explore the framework through which I make my (non-committal) decisions; as well as where I can direct more attention.

Take point 1, for example. If I don't immediately know how I feel about something in the thought space, I can jump to other areas to gather info:

• How does my body feel when I think about saying yes to the decision? How does my body feel when I think about saying no?
• What's my energy like in this moment of consideration? What might it be (based on what I know about myself) at the time and day of any actions involved?
• What other priorities have I already committed to (including time for personal care [sometimes doing nothing is incredibly important and needed!])?

Ultimately, options that generate any type of physical restriction or heaviness or are likely to drain you energetically might be good choices to pass on.

Listening to your body (for everything) is huge! Especially if you find yourself struggling to make a decision.

This is one area that I am trying to practice more consistently.

Too bad there are two factors when it comes to conquering the indecision of 'maybe'. But I'll save factor 2 for another day!