Day 51: The Altruism Fallacy

Why do people carry out acts of altruism? Ask a dozen people and you'll probably get a dozen answers - all with a common thread. A little thing called 'what's in it for me.'

No, that's not true! Altruists aren't self-serving. They're completely selfless and focused on the well being of others.

Thank you, imaginary Contrarian. You've brought up just the point I was hoping for! 

I love to burst your bubble by saying, no action would ever take place by a human unless that human received some benefit or gain from it.

This is a very broad statement, which at first reading, many might not agree with. 

Wonderful!

Allow me to explain.

Every thought we have and action we take is connected to a feeling, an emotion. The way we feel about something, be it a task or activity, person or circumstance, influences our desire or resistance to it. 

To give a concrete example, Sarah enjoys helping others to believe in themselves and their abilities. For a time, she volunteered as an adult basic education tutor helping others improve their math and reading skills. She always felt so good when she left in the evening, especially when seeing her tutee achieve success or learn something new.

What does Sarah get out of this altruistic action? It's not money or compensation. But it IS a good feeling of connection, empowerment, and happiness that was created through her action. Without giving her time, she would not have generated these feelings in such a combination. Thus, Sarah received something from her giving. 

Sarah likes to feel good. As many humans do. And like many humans, she also likes to feel that she has contributed and made an impact in another person's life. 

I bring up this topic all to say, that doing something that benefits you as well as other humans is never a bad thing.

The idea of self-serving actions only become 'bad' (if we want to go with a judging word) when their execution inflicts a negative impact on others.

 

The goal of life should not be to give selflessly, but rather, to give in a way where everybody wins. 

 

As individuals we need to feel good and at our best in order to share our best with the world. So why not look for opportunities where everyone involved benefits? 

 

I know I certainly will!