Day 6: The Laugh

If asked, I could recall a handful of times throughout my life where I've thought, "I love this person's laugh!" I could not bring to memory a time when I had consciously thought the opposite.

Until last night.

*****

I live in a pretty noisy apartment building. I didn't realize how loud it really was until I stayed somewhere that was quiet. The noise has to be the result of  thin and poorly insulated walls, floors, and ceilings. (The only fathomable alternative being that ALL of my neighbors intentionally yell constantly and stomp whenever they walk.)

Regardless of the reason for the noise, I hear a lot of it. For a long time I didn't really mind it too much and could easily tune it out. That was until I heard . . . IT. 

A noise I can't even begin to describe, but I'll try. It was loud, off-putting, and similar to that of someone trying to hock up a dry loogie, repeatedly.

It was . . . a laugh! 

And it created the strangest response I've ever experienced when hearing one.
I've had my fair share of laugh-hearing that's resulted in a visceral reaction of some kind (shoulders tense, stomach tightens, eyes bulge, lips curl in disgust). Yet in those moments, the physical movements clouded over any thought.

Last night, however, there was only the thought. "I hate your laugh." 

Twas strange! I would have expected some physical sensation to have partnered up, but that wasn't the case. Thoughts were going solo, tonight.

Or maybe it was something else . . . 

I've been doing a LOT of self-coaching lately. And I must say, I have Really built up my awareness to the thoughts that are actually going through my head. Like a monitoring system to check that each thought is helpful for me - and what I actually believe [vs what I've been told, taught, or shown by others/society].

Thoughts are only the first step in the 3-Part Response System (a name I just made up), a process that takes you from a stimuli of some kind (hearing, seeing, touching, etc) to a resultant action. This typically happens so rapidly that we're not aware of any processing that is happening, let alone a 3-step process made up of a Thought, Emotion, and then Action. 

For example, in the past upon hearing a displeasing laugh the process would have rapidly flown through the following steps:
  Sarah hears someone laugh -
     1) Thought: "I don't like that sound"
     2) Emotion: Disgust
     3) Action: Pinched up face and shoulders

Was it possible, that I'd finally learned how to slow down my response system so I can break the steps apart and then decide the emotion and action that followed?!

Yes.

WHat?!?! That's a thing? Deciding what I think or feel about a situation rather than responding to any and every circumstance by default?! Wow. 

This is was a challenging concept for me to originally wrap my mind around, but once I did things in my life started to change pretty prominently. It's been a slow build in this skill area, but it's SO exciting to be able to see the progress I've made. 

Interested in learning steps to directing your own 3-Part Response System? Then keep reading my stories! Or consider exploring the world of coaching, and I can be your guide!