Day 179: Glamour Shots

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Day 178: A new take on 'Life Crisis'

You've likely heard about someone having a quarter-life crisis or a mid-life crisis. Possibly even an end of life crisis.

Perhaps you, like me, have seen media portray this with men buying brand new sports cars and women dying their hair and completely changing their looks.

The vibe I've always gotten from this was more of a negative, judgemental one. A 'oh poor so-and-so, they can't handle their life so they are going to go out and do something "crazy,"' kind of feel.

But what if these crises aren't crazy at all? 

What if the people experiencing them are the most sane out of all of us?

Think about it, they are using a challenging time in their lives to acknowledge things they have always wanted or had an interest in and then going for it and making it happen.

Would we tell a child who has ambitions of being a world renowned mountain climber they're crazy? Or judge them for saving up to buy those really expensive hiking sticks they've been wanting only to use them for summer walks with Grandpa in the field? 

Probably not.

So why do we hate on ourselves and each other once we become adults? 

When did it become a bad or negative or crazy thing to acknowledge an interest and take action towards it?

I'm gonna put my money on jealousy. We see someone doing what they really want and are quick to throw labels on it. 

 

Why? Because deep down, we dont feel that we can do the same. We don't feel that we can have our wants or dreams, that we can't go after them.

Because we're adults and we have responsibilities, damnit!

But oftentimes, these 'responsibilities' are actually fears in disguise.

That's not to say that responsibility doesn't exist. Of course it does. But to the rigid and limiting degree that there is zero possible way life could allow you to explore a long-held interest or dream? 

I'm not buying it.

And neither should you.

Day 177: Mystery Fruits

Sometimes we don't know what the fruits of our efforts or deepest desires will be. 

Most of the time we can't see them until very far down the road.

But sometimes they start to grow and mature right in front of us, in plain sight.

And even if we can see them . . . what they will finish as may remain a mystery for a while.

Kind of like this picture. 

 

I don't know what this tree is or what is growing on it, but I imagine it will become more obvious in time.

 

And until that happens, I'll just enjoy the mystery and watching it unfold.

Day 176: Who Are You Pleasing?

I've been on my own personal growth journey for a little while now. But today I had a big realization of how I have been living my life.

By and large for the past 30 years, I have been living my life in a way that prioritizes pleasing and accommodating others. 

And let me tell you, that really gets in the way of one's ability to acknowledge - much less ask for - what one wants.

Because when you are functioning under the blueprint that your decisions need to always please other people, anything that strays from this feels wrong. To choose yourself first feels wrong. Like you will hurt others by your decision to choose yourself. 

But the reality is there's only one person actually living your life, taking care of your body, thinking your thoughts. 

And that's you - or in my case, me.

By that fact alone, choosing yourself first -prioritizing your wants, preferences and pleasures - is imperative for a happy and thriving life. Not just for you, but everyone around you.

When I was younger I often uttered the phrase "I aim to please!" in a joking way when saying or doing something that unintentionally made another person smile or laugh. Little did I know that what I said was absolutely true. 

 

I DID aim to please others - and I always had.

And it makes sense. Just think of the culture we live in in the US, with "the customer is always right" and "focus on the bottom line" mentality that is fed to us. We're constantly inundated with this idea that we need to do things to please or accommodate others. 

We're rarely shown an example of what it looks like to prioritize pleasing or accommodating oneself. And sadly, when we are, those involved are often [initially] labeled as trouble, rabble-rousers, revolutionaries, or anarchists. 

Not sure what I'm talking about? 

Think of the civil rights movement or the women's suffrage movement. These were both brought about by the desire and conviction for people to be able to live lives where they can be people - fully. Lives where they can make choices based on what is right and true for themselves rather than repressing their own wants and desires in order to further or soothe those of others.

It may seem like a bit of a drastic stretch but it paints the same picture. 

Choosing yourself first is important.

Your wants and preferences are important.   

Aim to please - starting with yourself.

Day 175: When Words Aren't Enough

When words aren't enough to get the message across . . .

. . . try adding a picture.

But in all seriousness, sometimes words aren't the right medium to fully deliver a message or meaning. Sometimes a different presentation or approach is necessary for something to really 'click.'

Think about a time when you were given the same information by multiple people. Did you ever notice that it wasn't until you heard it from a certain person - or had a specific experience - that the meaning of what everyone told you finally connected as intended?

It's the same concept as an idea my friend recently pointed out to me. "Graphic novels are really great for talking about difficult topics. They get the message across in a way words can't." 

I think the same can be said for life lessons and shifting outlooks. 

We can experience the same situation over and over and over again, but until we can interpret it in a new way we will never get the full meaning or message.

Day 174: Free Birthday Scoop

My twin sister and I recently went to Jeni's Ice Cream to take advantage of a free birthday scoop before it expired.

I'd been planning which flavor I wanted to get on the walk over. I was determined to use this free scoop to the fullest!

Imagine our surprise when, after walking in and mentioning our birthday coupons, we were informed that we can get up to THREE flavors!!

What do I do now?! How do I choose two more flavors, ensuring that I'll love them?!

The only way possible - sampling. And I sampled quite a few flavors.

At last, my scoops were making their way into the waffle bowl. With a little extra helping of the last flavor!

This was going to be great.

Sonia joined me at the table with her ice cream. "Guess what? They gave me extra scoops!"

"Me too!" I replied excitedly. 

And then she sat her bowl down next to mine. 

My excitement took a nose dive.

My bowl was on the right.

"What the heck?! You got so much more than me!"

"I don't know," Sonia responded gleefully. "But you can have some of mine if you want."

Comparisons aside, I thoroughly enjoyed my ice cream. 

While my eyes were initially jealous of Sonia's ice cream serving, my stomach was pleased with what I received.

And for what may have been the first time in SoSa birthday gorging, I didn't walk home in discomfort. 

Moral of the story:
Comparisons will make you under appreciate what you have and jealousy will always end up in a stomachache.

Day 173: Impressions

Sometimes the simplest things leave the longest impressions