Day 303: You're Interesting

Have you ever met someone new and thought, 'Wow, what an interesting life they've had!' or 'What an interesting person they are!'?

It's so easy to think about others and their different experiences and be in awe.
It's much harder, or so it seems to me, to have the same experience when thinking of oneself.

We all live different lives.
Some have a lot of variety.
Some contain a lot of similarities.
All are rich with experiences.
And to those who have not had the same (or even similar) experiences, the lives of others can sometimes take on an air of elevated appeal [or harsh criticism].

We compare and contrast to our own lived experience.
We attempt to relate.
And when we can't, we can enter into a veiled lens of lack or judgement.

"I wish my life was that impressive."
"I wish I had a lot of different experiences like that."
"I wish I [insert any relevant comparative change here]."
"I'd never want to experience that!"
"Why would anyone ever want a life filled with [insert topic of criticism here]".

But we don't have to look through the Lack Lens of judgment.
In fact, some of us don't (at least not routinely).
Because we always have at LEAST one other option available to us. 

I'd venture to say we always have at least TWO other options available to us at all times.

Neutrality - seeing the differences in life experiences between yourself and others, as simply that.

And Aspiration - seeing the differences in life experiences between yourself and others and recognizing a want or desire for yourself. 

Lack and Aspiration are two sides of the same coin.
Neutrality is what binds them.

We experience lack when we allow unchecked judgement. We see/hear/learn about something that we desire, but are unable to register the aspiration because our judgement is telling us that we can never have it.

We experience aspiration when we see/hear/learn about something that we desire, and are able to register the aspiration because judgement is absent. We are purely tapped into our state of interest and whatever makes us lean in and listen up.

So what do Lack and Aspiration have to do with how interesting we find ourselves?

Everything.

If we have an experience in which we worked towards an aspiration, we are most likely going to view that as pretty cool and interesting.

If we have an experience in which we judge our situation or others for the meaning we aren't finding, then we're more inclined to look down on our experiences.

And then there's the In-Between.

Because nothing in life is 100% binary.
Things are not always black or white, yes or no, right or wrong.

The In-Between is where I have found myself caught for years. Downplaying accomplishments and normalizing successes.

Why?

Because in the In-Between we haven't completed our internal assessment of life experiences. We haven't consciously explored and acknowledged what we have really learned and gained from them.

The In-Between is the staircase between movement and stagnancy.

We can only move up the steps when we are able to acknowledge, embrace, learn from, and genuinely appreciate each experience we have.

By the very virtue of being a living, breathing human you will experience life in a way that is unique to you. This is the sole prerequisite to claiming the title of 'interesting.'

Who knew it was as easy as experiencing life just as we are?! 

The struggle comes in seeing ourselves - and experiences - objectively and without judgement.