I can't say anything right - and maybe that's the point

I heard an old woman on the sidewalk saying, "I can't say anything right."

I heard this completely out of context as I  passed by, eavesdropping, but she brought an important point to mind.

It's very hard to say anything "right" if you don't give yourself time to come to your full thought about things. And more importantly, give yourself time to figure out the words to convey your intended meaning.

I think instantly of an older person saying something (definitely not PC) that seems offensive.

I think also of the times in the recent past when I have heard a statement come out of my own mouth that does not sound good at all.

Like I didn't think before I spoke.

Like I could have really offended someone if what I said was, indeed, what I meant.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I know for sure when communicating with others my intention is never to offend, insult or diminish. And yet it still happens.

Why?

Honestly, there are a number of reasons, but the one I'm finding especially important right now is the need to take time to understand what you really mean.

 

This means allowing yourself to think out loud, to not be perfect, even to say things that might not be what you actually believe in an effort to uncover what you do.

This means embracing the experience of being human and the occasional challenges of processing new information, perspectives, and ways of being.

We don't know everything.

And we are not always right.

But maybe that's the point?

Rather than striving to be right, perhaps the real aim is striving to understand - and enjoying the inextricable growth that comes with it.

In the world we live, we will unintentionally offend others. There's just no way around it (because we have no control over other's thoughts or how they interpret the thoughts we share).

But we can greatly reduce these misunderstandings - and create greater peace in our own lives - when we take time to work out the real meaning we want to convey with our words and we give others the time to do the same.

Think Out Loud

Thinking out loud is a game changer.

We almost always think we don't know - the answer to a problem, how to navigate unfamiliar or challenging territory, etc.

We have convinced ourselves that there is always just one correct
answer
path
solution.

This thinking is both entirely wrong and entirely true. 

It is wrong that in any given circumstance there is only one correct answer, path, solution. 

Yet, it is true that, in any given moment, there will be one answer, path, solution that works best for YOU.

And the easiest way of uncovering what that best answer, path, solution is is to think out loud.

You'll be amazed at what comes out of your mouth when you practice thinking out loud.

And I really do mean practice.

I just had my first real practice - and I had to keep reminding myself "think out loud" because the temptation to edit or restrict myself was so great.

But then I thought, "ok, it's just the same as thinking.. silently..in my head - except now it's coming out of my mouth. That's the only difference."

It felt awkward ["words are hard"] and the impulse to judge some of the thoughts that came out of my mouth was hard to ward off. 

It shut down a lot of my thought paths at first; disrupting the flow and evolution of ideas which would, at some point, turn into beliefs. And - side note - it is the beliefs stage, if any, that we should be judging. The thoughts leading up to the beliefs are just a means to make sense of something and, ideally, a means to understand.

So, allow yourself to think out loud. Give yourself the unrestricted space to explore, process, make sense, and direct your next steps. If you're lucky you'll get takeaways like mine 😜!

*I used a new-to-me transcription app to capture all of the gems I hoped would reveal themselves as I practiced freely thinking out loud and was delighted when it had a summary feature! 

. . . I don't know that I would have summarized my thoughts in this exact way, buut- close enough!

Life is a reflection

Our lives are a reflection of who we are.

Scratch that -

Our lives are a reflection of who we are.

Our lives are a reflection of who we think we are.

Complete with all of the could haves, should haves, would haves, supposed tos, and that's just what you do/how things are that no one can actually trace back to the original rule maker.

Everything is connected.

Nothing exists in isolation.

And, despite what we may have been taught or told, compartmentalizing areas of life does not keep them from interacting with one another.

Our lives are a reflection of how we view life.

Scratch that -

Our lives are a reflection of how we view life.

Our lives are a reflection of how we view ourselves.

. . . let that marinate . . .

Do you like what you see? 

-----------------------

If you're like me you may like some of what you see in your life. And there may be some areas that you really struggle with.

The struggle is a sign.

A sign that what you are seeing,
who you are being,
is no longer matching who you are. 

----------------------

Don't know what to do with that . . . but want to?

Connect with me here to get synced back up with your true self and navigating life in a way that feels and works best for you.

Meat Man

. . . maybe you had to be there . . .

L.E.N.T.

Lent has officially begun and for many Catholics (and other flavors of Christian) that means a period of reflection, self-discipline, and prayer.  

More commonly this plays out as a time of giving things up, not eating meat on Fridays, and trying to 'do better'.  

For many years of my life I don't think I fully grasped the point of Lent. Or rather, I didn't fully see how the things I did or gave up for Lent (saying extra prayers, giving up coffee or sweets) deepened my personal connection with the Creator. I was mostly just counting down those 40 days until Easter.  

Over the past year or so the way I view spirituality, religion, and their associated practices has shifted considerably. 

I've found that the generalized blanket concepts, enticements and threats of these areas don't actually benefit me as much as they could. And I'm willing to bet that if I feel this way, there are plenty of others that do as well.

So, with that in mind, I'll offer a few alternative approaches and perspectives to consider as we pass through this Lenten season - or, let's be real, life in general...

Sin doesn't exist unless judgment is present
What would change for you if 'sins' were viewed as lessons to be learned?
As opportunities for us to grow in understanding of ourselves and consciously choose which actions we want to carry out going forward, rather than judge and condemn ourselves?  

In every moment we have the opportunity to decide if what we are doing is what we want to continue doing. We get to assess and reflect on how it makes us feel, impacts others, and if that is how we want to be and show up in life. If it isn't, then change direction - there is nothing to be ashamed of or judged for that. That's part of learning.

Love for God = Love for Self
What if you didn't need to be 'saved'?
What if you just needed to reconnect to yourself - and thus, God? 

Imagine how much more you could feel and 'see' God's love if you loved yourself.

"Well, that's silly, of course I love myself!" 

Then I'll ask you this, how kind are you to yourself?
How often do you notice your flaws or inadequacies?
How often do you focus on your lack?  

You see, God doesn't see lack.
Because God didn't make you lacking anything.
You were made completely whole.
Yet, as we age in our world, this wholeness often gets chiseled away by the words, actions, and even beliefs of others - of those who came before us. 

We were handed down and taught thoughts and beliefs created long ago, but we weren't [explicitly] taught how to think about them consciously. We weren't taught to connect our thoughts, intuition, and body cues to discern what is uniquely true for us.

So, what if our goal this Lenten season - and all goals in life - started with ourselves?  

What if our intentions were to learn more about ourselves and, thus, who we really are?
God is calling us to be just that - Us.

Lent may be the name of a yearly religious period but it can mean so much more.

L.E.N.T.

Because Life Experiences Necessitate Transformation
And when we Let Experiences Naturally Transform 
we are then able to fully embrace and Live Every New Transition
And when judgment is absent and acceptance is present, we are able to Love Every New Transition.

May we all L.E.N.T. - in this season and every season.

Day 340: The End

Well, we finally made it!

A full year since I started my daily challenge to write (or draw) every day for 365 days.

So, how'd I do?

Well, if the title of this post is any indication (it's really not), I did . . .

Pretty.
Darn.
AWESOME.

That's right, in a year of life - full of ups, downs, sideways and neutrals - I missed only 25 days of writing. 

That's less than a month! 

And if we want to get technical about it, we could calculate that out to writing 93% of the year. And if we were assigning grades . . .  that's a solid A . . . 

Regardless of the metrics, the challenge served its ultimate purpose:
   1) to get back into a regular writing practice
   2) to create a space to expand on and develop my understanding of different life concepts, tools and experiences.

In a year of writing, I have learned that - 

• We can change our minds; and to do so is natural.
  To change is to grow. Thus, changing one's mind about something could actually indicate growth taking or having taken place.
  As the saying goes:
  Grow or Die
  
  
• Meaning can be found in literally ANYTHING.
  It just might take changing the angle or perspective with which we view it to pull something new.
  
  
• We can inspire ourselves.
  It's been cool to re-read older posts and experience a moment of awe (or 'ahh' - depending on how you look at it!).
  Feeling sensations of heart warming, chest expanding, and thoughts shouting 'yes! THIS!' in agreement with past me.
  We don't always need to turn to others for inspiration.
  And we don't need accreditation to inspire ourselves (or others).
  We can stoke our own fire.
  But we have to be open to feeling the heat - and seeing the flame [i.e. our true selves].
  
  
• Making yourself do something isn't as helpful as it seems.
  Force doesn't always result in the most fruitful outcomes.
  More often, it's ease and flexibility that bring me the most success;
  The times when I allow my interests in the moment to direct my next actions, trusting (and knowing) that everything I want to get done, will. This is still very much a work in progress, but so is life.
  
  
• Judgement Sucks . . . the joy, learning, and opportunity out of everything.
  When I started to get a handle on reeling in and reducing my rampant judging of others, situations, and myself - boy, did life start to feel different!
  Things felt lighter - I felt lighter.
  I was able to better understand others and think about situations differently than I had before.
  Judging less means more joy.
  
  
• Perspective is EVERYTHING.
  This is no new news.
  And I've been saying it like a broken record over the past year - because it's true.
  Shift your perspective and you shift your world.
  
  
• Trust in self isn't possible without understanding of self.
  Learn what you really think and believe.
  All of those things that 'some people' or 'other people' think - if their words are coming out of your mouth, they are your thoughts.
  Build your awareness of them.
  Learn to identify them.
  Then practice deciphering them.
  It's the only way to uncover what is true to you.
  If fear is born out of uncertainty and the unfamiliar. Get to know yourself and breed the opposite.
   
• Second guessing yourself = shutting the door on an opportunity.
  An opportunity to listen to yourself.
  An opportunity to trust yourself (re: point above)
  An opportunity to grow your intuition.
  An opportunity to grow - yourself.
  
  
• The key to happiness is knowing yourself.
  I penned this as the slogan of my coaching website way before I understood how true it really was. And as I've grasped and experienced this reality, I've also learned that knowing myself will be a life-long thing - because I am constantly changing.
  We all are.
  And it's a really cool and fascinating thing to be able to not only experience, but witness it - through conscious awareness of self.
  
  
• We are what and who we need.
  When we allow ourselves (and others) to change . . .
  When we look for the meaning in everything . . .
  When we inspire ourselves . . .
  When we welcome in more ease and flexibility . . .
  When we judge less . . .
  When we shift our perspective . . .
  When we trust ourselves . . .
  When we listen to ourselves and hear our intuition . . .
  When we are consciously aware of who we are . . .
  
  We are what and who we need - in every changing moment.

At the close of this year of writing, I'm still undecided what the next challenge will be. But, I can say with full confidence that writing will still continue be a regular thing. 

Though, perhaps not a daily occurrence.

Day 339: Ready for Heaven

I passed a man on the sidewalk today wearing a jacket with a picture of a skeleton on it that read, "Ready for Heaven."

He got me thinking, why do we have to die in order to experience bliss, completion, heaven?

Maybe we don't. 

 

Now, I'm not saying that there is a way to make life perfect.
Because as we know, perfection is impossible.
But, perhaps there is a way to experience a life that we like. Dare I say it - a way to experience a life that we love?

Of course, this doesn't mean loving every second of every moment non-stop forever and ever.
That too, would be impossible.
It is possible, however, to experience life in a way that feels good to you and to experience that feeling of good as your baseline state.

What if living a "good life" - living a life you love - wasn't about always having pleasurable / enjoyable experiences? 

What if it was more about simply experiencing - period?

What if a "good life" was simply a life full of experiences?
Experiences in which you are fully present. Fully in the present to take in all aspects, nuances, emotions, thoughts, sensations, connections, etc of the moment at hand.
And then of every moment that follows it.
Fully soaking in what it means to be alive through every experience. 

And not through the eyes of despair, disempowerment, or suffering. But through the eyes of curiosity, hope, and joy.

What would experiencing life like that be like?

 

Would it feel like Heaven on Earth?
Like the undefinable peace and joy beyond our wildest imagination and comprehension?

Is that even possible?

I don't know.

But, I do know that we hold the keys to our own reality. To the life we live day to day and the way we experience it.

If we aren't ready for heaven on Earth, how can we be ready for heaven in the cosmos?

That's a serious question.

Our perspective and level of consciousness doesn't automatically elevate as soon as we die and leave our bodies.
We have to change it.
But more importantly, we have to realize that we can change it.
And once we do, changes happen instantly.

On Earth, however, things aren't instant.

But that doesn't remove our ability to create change. It just takes a little longer to see and get what we want.

Day 338: Manifesting

I always thought the term 'manifesting' was just fluffy wordage thrown around by people trying to tell you how to obtain a pipe dream.  That it was all woo-woo, non-credible or illegitimate. And that those trying to 'manifest' were trying to get out of doing the hard work; wanting something else to do the heavy lifting behind the scenes so that these good things/wants 'just happened.'

I don't think I really understood what 'manifesting' was (I'm noticing a trend here...). And I kept getting thrown off by my perception of the effort and energy required to create a new reality.

I have very much believed that I loved 'creating something out of nothing.' I believed that this could only be done with dedication, hard work, determination, and creative expression.

These things are true, but I might have also been making things more difficult for myself with that viewpoint.

A new concept I'm working on wrapping my mind around right now is the idea that there is never 'nothing.'

Something can never be created from nothing.

It's scientifically impossible. Unless, maybe, you're a black hole.

This something is called Energy.

Meaning, there is ALWAYS something - even if you can't see or perceive it - in every place, space, and moment.

We can also think of this something - this Energy - as the difference between stillness and movement.

Everything in our world is in constant motion. Even when, to the average eye, things appear still they are, indeed, experiencing movement. (Think back to middle school science class and learning about the structure of the atom - hello, electrons! you speedracers, you...)

So, to adopt the phrase and belief that I like "creating something out of nothing" I'm making things much harder for myself.

Why?

Inertia - a body at rest, will stay at rest unless acted upon by an outside force.

Generating movement from stillness requires a LOT of energy and effort. Especially compared to generating continued movement from something already experiencing motion in some way.

Ok, fine. But if energy is all around us - in everything - then why do some endeavors seem so difficult?

Because we don't believe there is movement.

We can't see movement, thus we believe things are in stillness.

Let's elevate the example a bit-

We can't see what we really want (in our reality or imagination), thus we believe we can never have it, achieve it, be worthy of it, etc. [We stop the movement]

It's all matter of perspective.

It's all a matter of trust - Self trust.

And self trust is a matter of self knowledge.

If you know yourself deeply, you understand yourself. And if you understand yourself, you start to trust yourself. And if you trust yourself, you believe in yourself.

And it is from this foundation that life starts to change on a massive scale.

 

So . . . what does this have to do with motion, energy and manifesting. . . ?

 

A lot. 

 

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines 'manifest' as:

• readily perceived by the senses and especially by the sense of sight
• easily understood or recognized by the mind
• to make evident or certain by showing or displaying
  

Since Energy is motion and makes up everything, we can view our thoughts as energy as well.

 

Thoughts that support and benefit us give us more energy to work with - thus making things seem easier. Meanwhile, thoughts that restrict, limit, or lessen us require more energy just to think. Therefore, they leave us with less energy overall - and things seem harder and require more effort or force.

When we manifest, we take the three definition points above (though in a slightly different order) and apply them to our thoughts, mindsets and behaviors.

1. Recognize and understand what you really want
   [easily understood or recognized by the mind]
   This is where the whole self-knowledge, self-trust, self-belief cycle comes into play.
   
   
2. Consciously perceive by the senses what this want does for you
   [readily perceived by the senses and especially by the sense of sight]
   If this want were already your reality, how would you be able to sense it - how could you tell?
   What would your energy levels (physical, mental, emotional) be like?
   
   
3. Get clear on what it would look like - how the want would show up or display - in your life
   [to make evident or certain by showing or displaying]
   Adopt the mindset and behaviors that would correspond to those of already having the want
   

To manifest something is not to make it magically appear or happen - it's to consciously choose the path you want to travel down by first identifying the destination (or outcome). Then, once the destination is clear, working backwards to identify the steps to get there.

You can think of it like 'fake it until you make it' except you don't have to fake anything.

 

All you have to do is believe in yourself and travel in the direction of that.

Day 337: Sugar-Coated Bat Signal

BREAKING NEWS:

Onlookers have been taking in this seemingly innocent artwork (above) as just that - artwork. But some worry if it's not a signal of something much more sinister than cavities.

Recalling the globally spread pandemonium that took place last April, some fear an uprising of the followers of Arthur Slugworth. (Get caught up with the details here.)

What started as a publicity stunt and attempt to reclaim a position of candy prominence has mutated into something much more. Since last spring, sugar-winged groups have popped up all across the country with one common goal:
obtaining power - fueled by sugar. 

Economists and social scientists alike worry that this may be the product of the ever growing wealth disparity and feared financial downfall of the country. 

If we've learned anything from the past, it's that the cries of overlooked citizens are not to be taken lightly. 

This could be a monumental turning point in our country's - and world's - history. If we are able to read the writing on the wall and act appropriately. But this will require a lot of effort - essentially reworking the entire structure of our nation and economic model. 

Many argue that changing the systems we have in place will be the surest path to societal collapse. But with the passing of time and growing awareness of both social and environmental disparities, more and more people are asking the question:

"What do we have to lose?"

Only time will tell if this is a red herring or an innocent homage to nostalgic sweets. 

This is a developing story.

Day 336: Identity Shift

Over the past year I've experienced a lot of transitions.
All have been relational.
Which makes sense, as relationships are the defining feature of being human; who we are and how we are in relation to others - and to ourselves.

Without a doubt, the majority of my growth has been internal and has greatly impacted (and enhanced) my relationship with myself -

• Shifting the ways I think and perceive things (move over judgement, you're blocking the view!).
• Shifting the beliefs I operate under and consciously choose to follow.
• Expanding my awareness - of others and myself through thoughts, emotions, body, and soul/spirit.
• Challenging how I view myself and my identity.

Identity is a weird thing because it is completely made up, completely self-imposed.

Sometimes the labels we wear are chosen by us, sometimes they are chosen by others. But regardless of who chooses them, if we associate them with who we are (love them or hate them) - we are, in essence, accepting them.

This is much easier in cases where we like or want the label.

But it's a quite different feeling when the label you find loitering around you more and more frequently is one you don't want; is one you judge strongly.

Wait a second - I thought you said identity is self-imposed?
If that's the case, then why would anyone accept a label they don't want or that they judge strongly?

Because the words used to express the meaning of something (i.e. a label) do not always match up with the individual's definition or interpretation of that word. 

For example, as I alluded to on Day 331, I am finding myself at odds with the labels of 'Religious' and 'Spiritual' that seem to keep popping up on my radar. 

You see, I have some pretty biased and judgemental views of these terms; the first images coming to mind being a Bible-quoting-hypocrite and an Out-of-touch-with-reality-'manifest-away-your-problems'-self-proclaimed-authority, respectively.

Yikes, you weren't lying. Those are are super judgy associations!

I know.

But the good news is, I don't have to continue on with these associations and judgements if I don't want to. 

I don't have to feel at odds with a word. 

When framed that way, it sounds quite silly. Identity, labels - they're just words. 

Words used to convey a bigger picture and meaning.

So, to help facilitate my impending identity shift, I can choose to work on the following:

1. Get real with myself about the meaning I am assigning these words to have - and what that meaning says about me.
   
   
2. Educate myself more about what these words mean from a neutral perspective. Just like how I learned the other half of the meaning of amateur, recently.
   
   
3. Refine my own definition for these words. Come to an understanding of them that resonates and works for me - or find/come up with new words entirely.
   

Identity is self-imposed.

We get to decide if it feels good or if it feels bad.

It's our life - let's enjoy living it.

Day 335: Long Lost Tribe

I had a very interesting conversation the other night - about strangers. 

 

More specifically, how interactions with strangers are different here, in the United States (and perhaps most western cultures), from elsewhere in the world. 

 

My friend told me that they had never struck up a conversation with a random stranger whom they'd never seen or met before. 

[jaw drop]

I thought this was weird. 

I do it all the time! 

Well, not all the time. But frequently enough to think of it as normal. 

 

My friend mentioned, in India - where they're from, that people don't smile or talk to strangers. 

They might not even make eye contact. 

I was shocked.

I make eye contact with people I don't know all the time!

[Let me also clarify that, given the difference in population density in India, one would likely be talking to a lot of people they do know on a daily basis. They aren't just straight up snubbing people. At least most people aren't . . . probably.]

This topic got me thinking about what I've been reading in the book, Conversations With God (Book 3). Specifically, that humans were created as tribal creatures. 

 

Now, this isn't a new or novel idea to me, but the understanding (that dawned on me mid-conversation) of how this translates to life now, was.

The way in which we live in the "modern world" doesn't really sustain, protect, or nurture us in the ways that tribal life would. So, in thinking about the Western interaction with strangers - or at least my interaction with strangers - something started to click for me. 

 

It makes a ton of sense that in a culture where I do not have a strong sense of community I would subconsciously seek it out from other humans around me. Albeit, humans that I sense are safe, approachable and friendly, but strangers nonetheless.

Think about it:

Dating Apps = Strangers

Meet Ups = Strangers

Going to the gym = Strangers 

[insert your example here = I bet it will connect to Strangers]

Wow! 

 

Would you look at that? Biology at work! 

Trying to meet the inherit and invisible needs that we have for survival, but also to thrive and be - whether conscious or unconscious.

So, now I'm curious:
How often do you talk, smile, or make eye contact with others?
And what are your thoughts around it?

Day 334: remember...

 

We can always use a reminder.

Consider this yours.

Day 333: Time-out Pep Talk

I'm so glad I talked myself into making these chicken salad pitas instead of nachos (hear: "I want nachos!!" in the whiniest voice ever).

They look bomb!

 

[Flash back to pre-meal prep]

 

Just imagine if this time-out pep talk was available for every moment of hesitation, conflict or self doubt.

It'd be like having our own coach with us at all times telling us the play! Helping us get our heads in the game.

What a game changer that would be.

Sport teams and individual athletes are credited much success when working with a good coach.

The same plays out in life.

But no one knows because no one is watching.

There is no giant arena for people to gather when you're making your most pressing decision of the moment.

Can you imagine if there was?

[Immediately, Hazey put in her two cents of how it would be intimidating and stressful. But once she was sent to her room and I had quiet to hear Mountain Man, I saw that it would be one of the most encouraging and supportive experiences ever. ]

A whole stadium of people gathered for you.

A whole stadium of people rooting for you.

A whole arena of people wanting you to succeed.

Wow.

Seriously, what if life was like that?!

Can you even imagine?

Whether you can picture it or not, dare to consider that it is a possibility.

(Well, the feeling that such a thing would create, that is.)

Because when we are willing to consider the possibility of something new, we leave room for it to grow into a reality.

Now's who's ready to get back on the field (/court/[insert your preferred sport setting here])??

The game is always going, the question is - do you want to play?

Day 332: Amateur

Well, I just realized that I did not fully know what the word amateur meant. 

 

I always thought an amateur was someone who was unskilled, a beginner, less knowledgeable.

But here I come to find out (while watching Fantastic Fungi on Netflix) that amateur also means:

someone who does something because they love it.

It comes from a French word meaning: 'lover of.' [Don't ask which French word, though 😜]

So, if I were to say I'm an 'amateur nature photographer' or even an 'amateur coach' that would be a good thing.

 

A preferable thing, even.

Because I want to do things that I love.

Now, let me phrase that in another way -

I want to love the things that I do.

I want to be an amateur of life.

In being an amateur my goal, aim, ambition is not to make money. That is never the focus of the amateur.

The focus is giving.

Contributing.

Making the world better by who you are and with what you have to offer.

May we all find the truth, ease and joy we desire in whatever we choose to do and whomever we choose to be.

Amateurs, live on!

Day 331: Religious Revelations

I've grown a LOT over the past few years - and especially this past year, 2022.

Over the course of the last 6 months or so a new subject matter slowly started becoming more and more prominent. 

The subject?
Religion and Spirituality

I'm learning a lot about religion - or rather, what religion is not. 

I knew this day would come. A day in which I'd learn that the traditions and routines I grew up with were really just that - Made by men and not by God. 

Or, should I say, put in place with the actionable intentions of men rather than the intentions of God. Or something like that . . .

Anywho, it's cool that as I am coming to find and understand how much of religion, the church - Catholicism, specifically - is rules created to restrict and control others, I'm still not completely turned off by the whole idea. 

I know there are some people that are very quick to dismiss the entire concept of organized religion. And I think that's okay, because, to quote the Bible: "In the beginning . . . "
. . . there was no religion. 

There was only love. 

I'm happy to find that while I feel less compelled to follow organized religion, I'm not turned off by it. 

I can see that there are fundamentally flawed rituals and ways of thinking in all religions. But there are also positive aspects and pieces of true messages from God* [*insert your name for a higher power here] that also exist, interwoven within the human-created. 

And that to me is an uplifting thought.
That, while not all ideas, practices, and organized religion will benefit followers or help them to fully become connected with God*, they do provide hope and basic teachings that people can hang on to. They do provide a sense of community. And perhaps this is a way to tap back into the sense of One Tribe.

I'm loving the absolution of gilt and fear. The encouragement and empowerment to do what I want, like, and enjoy. The removal of outside expectations (this one's just starting to take root).

The desire to really listen to and trust myself.

The desire and excitement to really experience life - and experience God* [aka pure creation].

I'm loving that the interworking between the physical and spiritual worlds are now becoming exposed and logical in my state of understanding.

I'm loving that learning all of this - and everything I've yet to learn - always comes back to me and my happiness.
Me and my wants.
Me and my passions.
Me and my love.

 

Our Love.

The only thing there really is.

I didn't actually get that phrase, before - "Love is all there is."

I don't think I understood it because I didn't really understand love.

But I'm starting to now. And boy does it look (and feel) a whole lot better than whatever else I've been doing my whole life.

Love, happiness, fulfillment, purpose all start and end with the same thing -
You.

Me.

Each of us.

All of us.

Get to know yourself.

It will be the start of your best life yet.

Day 330: Proving Yourself

Proving yourself is more effort than it's worth.

Seriously, it takes an insane amount of effort.

And causes so much unnecessary stress!

Just being around someone who feels the need to prove themself can produce stress energy that is palpable; others can feel the vibe.

What if instead of feeling the push to prove ourselves we felt the pull to explore ourselves? To try new things, to get out of our comfort zone, to learn and grow?

Despite what it may seem, life isn't about achieving, accomplishing, or proving.

Life is about learning, experiencing, and living.

 

What does that even mean???

What does that even feel like???

 

Why not test it out?
Next time you're feeling pushed to prove - pull back.  

Try replacing the push to 'prove' with the pull to do something else - perhaps experience, learn or explore.

 

"I want to accomplish something"  -->  'I want to experience something'
"I have something to prove"  -->  'I have something to learn'

"Achievement will make me happy"  -->  'Exploration will make me happy'

What feels different about those statements?

To prove is to justify - to yourself or someone else.

To explore is to embrace - the known and the unknown of yourself or others.

Day 329: Friday the 13th

It's a notoriously spooky day, people! 

. . . Friday the 13th . . .

What out-of-the-ordinary thing do you think is going to happen in your day?!

But remember - what you expect (and believe deep inside) is what you will experience.

That's not true. We won't experience something just because we expect it...

Oh, no?
Probably not if you only expect it - but if you deeply believe it, that's another story.

Why do you think there are people that buy into a bunch of different conspiracy theories? Because they believe it and look for proof of it.

Why do you think people feel they will never do/have/be 'as good as others'? Because they believe it and look for proof that they won't - fueling the self-fulfilling prophecy.

Why do you think weird things happen on Friday the 13th? Because we think, thus put into motion, that they will.

Our minds are powerful.
We are powerful.

Not so much in a 'fantastical-magic-and-super-powers' sort of way (though who knows, maybe that's true, too).

But in a 'we-are-capable-of-so-much-more-than-we-can-even-imagine-and-yet-we-are-constantly-restricting-ourselves' sort of way.

Once we start letting go of these restrictions, we can then start to learn -
how to use our minds
how to use our thoughts
how to use our power
-for good. 

Because when we allow ourselves to seek our own good, it extends out to the world - and everything changes.

Using power "for good" does not mean being selfless, putting others before yourself, or doing what you think a "good person" would do.

Using power "for good" means getting in tune with YOURSELF. Paying attention to what feels good to you - physically, emotionally, spiritually and prioritizing that. Seeking THAT out.

Because when we feel good - genuinely good (not due to a 'quick fix,' distraction, or escape) - we spread those good vibes all around us.

So, I'll say it again, what you expect and believe deep inside is what you will experience.

The thing is, you first have to believe.

Again, I'm definitely - mostly - talking about personal beliefs and what is possible for you, by you, as you when you reach a place of actually believing it's true. When you reach a place of believing [in] yourself.

Now that's an idea that might sound even spookier than Friday the 13th!

But, that's ok - because we love novelty.
And variety novelty is the spice of life, after all.

Now go make your life spicy!

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Feeling a little afraid or skeptical of experimenting with more spice?
Let's talk and we can figure out the perfect blend together!

Day 328: Gradual Perfection

I've said before that perfection doesn't exist . . .
But check out these nails!

 

 

Here, let me give you a closer look . . .

I mean - look at those clean lines!
They're almost as good as my lipstick application . . .
but I'll save that share for another day.

As illustrated above, perfection is not found in my nail polish application (shocking, I know).

Sure, I could have gone around the edge of every nail to touch it up and get it as close to 'perfect' as possible, but I didn't need to.

The reason being, with the passing of time imperfections and minor errors fade away. They seem to disappear - as any human who has painted their nails and then washed their hair can attest to.

This isn't only true of trivial, tangible things, but learnings as well.

When we start something new or try something different there are bound to be struggles, pitfalls, unintended outcomes, or unmet expectations. These things all come with learning,
with practicing,
with growing.

Over time these undesirable growing pains gradually subside, leaving us with more know-how, more confidence, and overall 'cleaner lines.'

When have you experienced this type of improvement over time?
What was it about you that made this positive progression possible?
And how might it serve you to apply these insights to a current endeavor?

 

Here's to trusting that time is always on our side, when we are willing to learn, and striving for continuous improvement rather than chasing perfection!

Day 327: Novelty

What is one thing guaranteed to make attention stick, excitement build, and curiosity soar?

Novelty.

The new, the original, the unusual.

I came across this TEDx Talk recently and the section on novelty really stood out to me.

The speaker was discussing ways in which we can increase our happiness. The concept of novelty was encouraged to be used in areas of life that seem to be anything but novel. Such as people we know well and see every day, things we do with routine familiarity and autopilot - you know, the pillars of American life:

- family

- work

The things that are not so easy to change or refresh when we start to feel bored or blind to them.

Or are they?

Gratitude and appreciatiation are toted as being key to grounding ourselves and being present in the moment. I certainly believe this is true.

Yet, I've now learned there is another trick (or tool, depending on how you look at it) available to us.

Novelty.

Plus a bit of imagination.

The idea is that when we set ourselves (brains) up to think something along the lines of, 

"oh, wow, I get to go home and see my family- I haven't seen them in 8 whole hours!" 

rather than 

"well, work's over, time to go home to predictable people and routine," 

we prime our brains for novelty. We prime our brains to see the novel in the familiar.

Which, in turn, may actually heighten appreciation and gratitude for the very items we are focusing on.

Adding novelty to a situation is really another way of saying or thinking about changing one's perspective. It takes effort, it takes time, and it takes practice.

It takes - that's for sure. And then it gives.

More than we can imagine.

Day 326: Dream Big

 

 

  

Day 325: Small Reminders

Sometimes you receive unexpected confirmation of how great you are 😜.
Roll with it!

I'm planning on sharing this with my sisters as fun joke. I wonder what their reactions will be?!

All jokes aside, there are reminders, validations, and confirmations all around us attesting to our best traits or qualities with the intention of bringing us back - and hopefully closer - to ourselves.

We can choose to ignore them or down play them.
Or, we can try something different.
We can try accepting them with open arms (figuratively speaking. Unless you feel compelled to stretch out those arms!). We can try out acknowledging and appreciating ourselves in the moment.

If we did that regularly, what would change in our world?

If you did that regularly, what would change in your life?

If you do it today, what might change in the rest of your day and the week?

Try it out and see for yourself. What have you got to lose?

Day 324: True Love

 "When I want for you what you want for you, then I truly love you. When I want for you what I want for you, then I am loving me, through you."

Dang. I read this and had to take a long pause.
And then read it again, several more times.

What an idea.
What a total toss out the window of anything close to an "I know better" mentality.

"So, too, by the same measure, can you determine whether others love you, and whether you truly love others. For love chooses naught for itself, but only seeks to make possible the choices of the beloved other."

***

***

***

Did you think about it, yet? How you love based on the above measurement criteria?

Yeah, . . . can't say all of my love's been true, that's for sure . . .
And neither has all the love I've received.

But what if it was?
What if it could be?

I think it can.
Or at the very least, I think we can increase the amount of true love we give.

And I think it starts with awareness.
Awareness of what we want ourselves.
And further awareness that the different wants of others don't negate, lessen, or override our own.

Different wants can live in harmony.

Because when you dig down far enough, they all root from the same place.
Can you guess what that place is??

Love.

Wants are an expression of love - albeit, sometimes incredibly beat-up, cryptic, and/or misleading expressions.

Still having trouble getting on this band wagon?

Consider holding up the binoculars for your awareness.
To zoom in on the deep emotional want attached to every outer, expressed want.

When the emotional want is revealed, no one can argue with it. It can't be wrong.
Because emotional wants are universal - we can all relate to them.
Yet, we can all interpret them differently.

This is why perspective, in addition to awareness, is needed to give love that is true.

In what areas could you benefit from a perspective shift, if even just to try it out?

-------------------------------------------------------

For anyone wondering, the topic quotes today were pulled from an early page of Conversations with God: Book 3. Intrigued by what you read? Consider checking out the book yourself - or wait for my later coming commentary on whatever else jumps out at me!

Day 323: Conversations with . . . myself?

I started reading a new book from the library, recently.
Well, the book is old - published in 1998 - but it's new to me.

It's called Conversations with God. 

I'd heard the title before various times in passing, recommended amongst other books (most likely by my iPEC coaching community). But it wasn't until last month that I actually requested it from the library.
[This was after much deliberation of which book to select - there appeared to be 3 volumes! 'Does it matter which I read first? Oh, book 3 is available at the library branch nearest me? Sure, I'll go with that one!']

And then once I picked it up, it sat untouched in my apartment for a few more weeks.

Finally, on January 2nd, I cracked it open. 
I was instantly drawn in.
And quickly proceeded to have my mind blown, consistently, in just the first 8 pages.

"What the heck?!"
My heart rate had picked up and I was experiencing a mixture of excitement, disbelief, joy, happiness, and just a sprinkle of fear.

"This is confirming everything I've learned through coach training! Everything I've come to realize through my own experiences with coaching!! Everything I've thought and hypothesized about regarding current social institutions and practices that don't quite sit well with me . . .!!!"

In short, my world was getting rocked.
And I was in the right place, time, mindset, and perspective to receive it.

I was experiencing the direction that I had chosen for my life, reveal truths to me that delighted my soul and filled me with joy.

It felt as if I was having the conversation with God myself, right as I was reading.

As much as I could have tried, I couldn't write these sensations off as 'just feelings from something somebody wrote.'
I knew the words were true. 
But there was something still deeper.
It was as if I was finally feeling that I was true.
That what I yearn to contribute and put out in the world is exactly what the world needs.
That - and stay with me here - I already know the so called 'secrets to life.'

What's that?! Sarah knows the secrets to life?!!!
Well, where's she been hiding them?!

'Well, I don't really know them, I haven't perfected them or my life or anything. But I know what they are . . .'

CUTTTTT!
Let's end that scene right here.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

I know the secrets to life - a happy life.
I have not mastered them, but I know what they are.
And that's all I need - to know what they are.
Because after knowing, it's all practice anyway.

This knowledge isn't a secret.
It's open and available to everyone.
And really, it's quite basic.
But sometimes the most basic things prove the most difficult.

Why is that?

Because we get in our own way.
We get in our own way with life and happiness, in general.

Because we don't trust or truly get to know ourselves.

That is it my friends. That's the secret - getting to know your full self.

For the past year, my suspicion of this has been growing stronger and stronger. But still I doubted.
"What if other people don't believe me? Don't believe it's true?"
"I don't know how to convince them."

But here I am, with the 'randomly' selected book volume that has strengthened my trust in myself and belief in what I know. 

Lucky me, I don't need to convince anyone of anything.
I just get to share the information.

Day 322: Honey Bee-Ess

I was reading a news email and came upon the article summary below:

What's creating a buzz... This new vaccine. Yesterday, the Agriculture Dept gave the green light to the world’s first vaccine for honeybees. For context: one-third of the global food supply relies on pollination, and healthy commercial hives are essential to secure high crop yields. But the colonies had no protection against diseases that regularly wiped them out. It really stung. Now, a biotech company has developed a vaccine containing bacteria that is ingested by the queen, deposited in her ovaries, and ultimately gives immunity to developing larvae as they hatch. It will only be available to commercial beekeepers. The developer is calling it a “breakthrough” in protecting honeybees" that can positively impact food production on a global scale.

If I had zero previous knowledge on the bee population I probably would have thought this sounded great.

But I do have a tiny bit of prior knowledge.

And it's enough to leave me feeling very disgusted and down hearted.

What the summary above conveniently fails to mention is that the honey bee population is experiencing it's steep decline and danger largely because of the agriculture industry. Specifically, the fertilizers and pesticides they have adopted and evolved over the past few decades and use widely today.

If the chemicals that are being used to treat the crops we ingest are KILLING bees, what does that say about our health?

How does pumping bees full of more chemicals actually solve the problem?

It doesn't.

It just masks the symptoms of the problem.

It just puts a Band-Aid over an ugly spot.

The solution to the problem of the declining bee population, amongst many other environmental concerns, lies with us.

It lies within our ability to truly love - ourselves, each other, and the world we live in.

Better doesn't come without change, without growing pains.

If we are unwilling do something different than what we've grown to know, we will never live in a world better than it is now.

I highly encourage you to get informed on the matters of the world that impact your life 'indirectly', because it is these areas that will ultimately cause the most damage.

Here's an article to get you started.

If you are looking for a legitimate organization to support and learn from, I strongly recommend the Natural Resources Defense Council (NRDC). They have a proven track record of success in legal battles advocating for the environment and show no signs of slowing down any time soon.

Each of us can make a difference - no matter how small it seems.

What will you do?

Day 321: I Love Writing

I love writing - and making art in general - because I never really know where it's going to take me.

I'll start writing with a topic/key point in mind and by the middle or near end I often find myself on a narrative path I wouldn't have expected (though not always).

Thoughts along the lines of

''Whoa, that took a turn in a different direction. Huh..."

are not uncommon during my writing process.

And that is what I love so much!

The discovery and effortless (almost imperceptible) exploration.

Of ideas.

Of thoughts.

Of mindsets.

Of perspectives.

The hallmark component of any true "Sarah Story" telling is the curvy, random path one is led down in an effort to gather ALL of the 'absolutely necessary' details required to make it to the moral/point of the story . . . which can only occur at the very end (once all hope of there even being a point - by some - has been lost).

Knowing this about my storytelling, it makes a lot of sense why I would enjoy writing for the same reason. Though, thankfully, with writing it's a bit easier to be more concise, however minor.

 

Creating delight (even if it is just for myself) from unexpected direction and perspective that springs from open exploration.

This is my story style.

This is my writing style.

This is my way of being - to a large degree.

And I love it.

Day 320: 2023 - The Year of . . .

--------------------------

|         CHANGE         |
--------------------------

After my last coaching session of 2022, Audrey sent me a few questions to answer as I reflected on the past year.

If 2022 were a chapter in my book of life, what would the title be?
INTENTION

Looking ahead, what will I call the coming chapter of 2023?
CHANGE

I'm not just embracing change this year - I'm initiating it

I'm initiating changes necessary to:

• experience life in a way that feels the very best yet
• cultivate, grow & sustain my relationships to levels that support and energize me
• leave behind insecurities and limiting beliefs that hold me back from working towards my dreams
• see the awesome person I really am on a regular basis 
• read: appreciate myself & become more and more of my own best friend

What is this your year of?

And what do you want to do about it?

Have an idea, but don't know how to get started?  No worries, I got you! 

Connect with me here and we'll get your wheels moving.

Day 319: To Be Heard

Many people in this world feel overlooked.

Many people in this world feel unheard -

That they don't have a voice;

Or that their voice doesn't matter.

This is a super disempowering feeling.

And when one feels this way, it is often just a stone's throw away from experiencing beatdown and resentment.

Feeling wronged by others.

Feeling a victim of circumstance.

Feeling powerless and without choice.

This is a very difficult headspace to be in.

This is an even harder headspace to get out of.

But you know what makes it a boatload easier to navigate and overcome?

Focusing one's attention on the areas that make the greatest impact.

To be heard requires others.

But first, it requires hearing oneself.

And to truly hear oneself requires acknowledgement, honesty, and bravery.

To be heard requires acknowledging that one is worth hearing.

That one's voice is valuable.

That one's voice matters;

That one's thoughts, feelings, and opinions matter.

To be heard requires honesty with oneself about what the message really is.

Not what one wants others to do.

Not what one is seeking.

But what one is feeling.

To hear oneself requires bravery -

to be vulnerable;

to go deep inside and uncover what one truly desires and the hidden beliefs that are keeping things out of alignment.

It is often thought that 'to be heard' is to:

be the loudest in the room

to have the most power

to exert the most force.

This approach may work for some, but it is not sustainable or long lasting. And when speaking from this place it is common to create a space of judgement and blame. Thus, being met with frequent resistance and force.

But we have another option.

We can choose to speak from a place of personal understanding and awareness, truth, and intention.

When these factors combine we create space for consideration and openness:

- the key ingredients for effective communication and progress.

We can't control others.

We can't make others listen if they don't want to.

But we can present our message in a new way.

 

A way that, rather than being brushed aside and ignored, makes people stop and take note.

*****************************************

Want to put these ideas into practice?

Consider personal coaching to transform how you experience life! Learn more by booking an introductory coaching session here.

Day 318: Vision Board Party

Party Supply List

• Poster board (x4)
  
• Dbl stick tape
• Scissors
• Glue stick
• Wine
• Nice new year's notebooks X4
• 2 Pizzas
• Lots of veggies - 1
• Meat / veg - 1

******************************************

 

I had a vision board party with my closest friends days before the close of the year.

As we chatted and reminisced, my friends shared memorable characteristics and traits about me that they think of fondly.

In addition to this being incredibly flattering and heartwarming, it revealed to me something I had not been able to clearly see before.

I am memorable and noticeable.

 

By and large, until this party, I believed that I was rarely either of these things. And I believed this view was shared by others.

In thinking such a thing, my own endeavors of reaching various goals or persuing deeply held dreams have been greatly impacted.

And not in a good way.

They've been incredibly challenging.

In fact, for pretty much the entirety of 2022, I've been working on breaking down and overcoming my fear of 'being seen' as I navigate a new path of coaching and personal development.

Little did I realize, the only person blind to me was myself. And the obstacle I was actually trying to overcome - was Me.

It took some of my favorite people reflecting back aspects of Sarah that they enjoy and receive happiness from, for it to solidly 'click' that people really do know me.

People take an interest in me.

People value me and how they feel around me.

For the majority of my life, I've unknowingly believed that if no one says anything [to you/about you - in a positive regard], then you aren't noticed; That it takes outward acknowledgment to be noticed or remembered.

That's not true.

External validation is nice and feels great, but it is not the judge that determines a person's worth, impact or value.

That's internal validation's job.

And, boy oh boy, am I glad I've learned a thing or two about getting that motor running again.

I think it's common to experience a break down in ability to self-validate, to see oneself - especially when growing up in a western culture. (But seeing as I've only known the western mindset, I'd love to hear if this is true in other cultures as well.)

But the ability does not have to stay broken.

It can be rebuilt.

Strengthened.

Empowered.

And when that happens we become better able to see ourselves as others do. Through the lens of love and appreciation.

Oh my goodness, if I always saw myself the way my friends viewed me - I'd be unstoppable! If I could see myself on the pedestal of goodness my friends did, I would seldom doubt my abilities.

It's easy to see goodness and greatness in others (at least that's my experience). It's harder to see it in ourselves.

This begins to change when we start investing time in ourselves 

- our inner selves.

The parts we can't see, but can absolutely feel.

I am memorable and noticeable.

 

There is no lack there - in that statement.

Yet, it wouldn't have come to the surface if the spotlight hadn't first been shined internally.

If the [self] awareness hadn't been built.

If the [self] judgement hadn't been greatly defused.

Perhaps in this new year we shift ourselves to the forefront of our own priorities.

Perhaps we challenge our interpretation of self lack, in all it's many forms.

Perhaps we explore how life opens up when we willing and intentionally step into that which we are - the very things we fear we lack.

I am memorable and noticeable.

You are memorable and noticeable.

We are memorable and noticeable.

And we are - ALL of us - greater than we could ever imagine.

Here's to having the courage to consider it could be true. And then, fully and finally, embracing it.

Here's to us and all we are, both realized and yet to be, in 2023!

******************************************

Interested in learning how to better uncover your greatness?
Connect with me to learn how personal coaching can benefit you!

Day 317: This dating game show isn't for you

Strive to find others that align with who you are,

rather than trying to fit into someone else's box.

Happy New Year!