Day 273: Restriction

Sometimes we outgrow where we are.

Sometimes it's a job.
Sometimes it's friends.
Sometimes it's a lifestyle.

But for every human, there will come a time when what we are doing no longer works so well for us. A time when, given the choice to stay the same or try something new, to remain 'as is' would lead to restriction and cramping.

Take this tree, for example.
It has been growing between these apartment buildings for who knows how long. And all the while, it's range of growth has been impeded by literal walls that are surrounding it.

Obviously, trees can't just walk to a different location that would be more conducive to growth. 

But we can.

And that's a scary reality.
Because, for a lot of us, that means moving into a reality that we are no longer familiar with.
That means doing things we haven't done before.
That means building new muscles and skills along the way, causing us to become very aware of pains and struggles that weren't previously on the radar.

That means choosing to live (and learn), rather than just exist.

I debated writing, "sometimes we outgrow who we are."
But, I don't think I actually believe that. 

I think we all have core traits and characteristics that are foundational to us.
These are the things that stick with us no matter what our age or experience.
I don't think we outgrow these, ever - they are what make us, 'us.'

However, I  do think that, depending on one's situation, experience, company, and/or mindset, 'who we [really] are' can become overgrown, hidden, and tangled up.  

And when this happens, it can become very challenging to extract the 'us' from the 'what' and 'where' we are surrounded by. 

We all have the ability to choose how we experience life.
We all have the ability to choose - even if we don't like any of our choices.
We also all have the ability to say 'no' and decline the things that come our way.

It took me a long time to come to understand this. And I'm still working on it.
For me, experiencing life in a way that is beneficial (rather than forceful or restrictive) started with allowing myself to consider this:

What would feel good to me [in this situation]?

Regardless of the actions that come next, just considering this question makes a difference.

It signals to the mind that there is an alternative path forward from what we are used to and all of the 'shoulds' and 'supposed tos' that flood our thoughts.

It signals that there is a path away from restriction.