Day 207: Delayed Morals

When I was in middle school I wrote a story, The Grape Brothers, for my friend's little brother.

It was a story about  - wait for it - brothers, who are grapes! And their desire for a different life than the one their family said was destined for them. 

It doesn't have a happy ending, though there is a silver lining.
Quench your curiosity and read the full story here.

At the time 12 or 13 year old me was writing the story, I had no plan for where it was going or the overall message or moral I was trying to deliver. Like many of my creative pursuits I was flying by the seat of my pants and open to wherever things landed.

Now, twenty years later (holy cow!!!), I see that past me may have actually been writing for present me.

You know the story synopsis, up top - telling of the Grape Brothers' desire for a different life than what their family has in mind for them?
I had no idea that was a theme of the story until writing this post today.

It took twenty years -
20 years of learning
20 years of experiencing
20 years of living
- to fully grasp the message Tween Sarah had unknowingly penned so long ago.

We all, individually, get to decide what we want for ourselves and our lives.

As the saying goes, the only certainty in life is death. But we have a whole heck of a lot more say in what happens before that than we are led to believe.

Vince and Carlos didn't want to be turned into wine or a tasty treat - so they literally charted their own path until they reached their end.

Maybe this is something we would do well to be reminded of more often?

Day 206: I love Purple [cars]

On many walks through my neighborhood I have passed by this car.

I think it's quite unique in color. You might agree. 

It's so unique in color that you'd think it would have captured my eye and compelled me to share upon the very first viewing. But for some reason, this was not the case.

It's almost as if I've somehow been desensitized to purple colored cars . . . like this isn't the first one I've seen . . . 

Oh my gosh! This ISN'T the first Easter egg purple car I've seen!!

It only took me dozens and dozens and dozens of walks past to realize. 

Could this be the same one I saw five years, two months, and two days ago?!?

At the time, I couldn't be sure. 

The only thing I was completely certain of was my burning hope the owner had hair to match.

Day 205: Creepy Request

 

Had this request come from anyone other than my sister, I would have been totally creeped out. But since it did come from her, I was only moderately creeped out.

 And then after an awkward moment, it was hilarious...

Day 204: Harry Caray

In Chicago, a city of two major league baseball teams, the name Harry Caray is well known. 

As one who is not a fan of the sport, my introduction to the man was seeing the name on a restaurant. 

For some reason, the sketch logo really stuck with me . . .

I had no idea how much so until I attended an event put on by the Harris Theater in partnership with the National Museum of Mexican Art.

It was a showcase of various Mexican performers - covering the broad sounds of the culture, both traditional and modern.

What does this have to do with the baseball radio legend?

THIS: Harry Caray in female form, ready to go in her baseball pinstripes

Spitting image. 100% identical.

Or in the words of my former co-workers:
Coworker 1: "They are 100% the same."
Coworker 2: "No, they are 80% the same."

Regardless of the exact percentage, even from behind the likeness is uncanny.

Second to the joy gained from making the visual connection, was witnessing her failed attempts at getting the perfect seat. One that was free from voluminous hair blocking her line of vision, that is.

Apparently, legendary glasses do not guarantee legendary sight.

Day 203: Just another day in the office

Hello? 

You want me to do what?? Work the night shift for my remote job where I have to answer phone calls that can't be routed to my cell phone? How am I supposed to answer the calls, then?

Oh, you're going to MAIL me a phone to use? 

And the port is only found in some buildings, not all?

This doesn't sound like a very efficient or sustainable way to do business, but yeah, I guess I can make it work . . .

Day 202: Intermediate Levels

Though I have no idea where this will go - I had to jump at today's post number to talk about the Intermediate Levels - the 200s.

I feel like a class I took in college must have been a 202.
On first thought, I would have said it was the online Diversity and Stratification class (which happened to be my favorite course in college).

But, no, I was wrong. The 202 class I took was actually  . . . a theater class?!

THE 202 Costume Design I  - as was required for my major: Clothing, Textiles & Design. Never would I have remembered if I hadn't looked it up (you're welcome).

And what a great example of what the Intermediate Levels are like -
realizing that Costume Design 1 was not just a textiles & design class, but a theater class as well!

In the 200s you think you know what's what and how to do things, but you are continuously met with new and unexpected information.

In some moments this can be interesting, exciting, and fun. While in others it can be a bit intimidating, frustrating, or even scary.

"Maybe you don't really know as much as you thought you did," you may start to think.

"Maybe you're not cut out for this," you may start to despair.

Well, let me give you some reassurance.

You do know as much as you thought you did - you just don't know EVERYTHING.

You are cut out for this. The only 'maybe' about it is the question of if you want to continue or not.

The Intermediate Levels are where we start applying the new learnings, insights, and awareness we have gained back in the 101s. 

The Intermediate Levels are where we try for ourselves.

And the Intermediate Levels are where we make a choice - to stay where we're at or to rise to the unknown.

Day 201: Hard Dreams

"If you can dream it, you can do it" - Walt Disney

So you've got to let yourself dream it.

Ironically enough, it's the dreaming, not the doing, that's the hardest part.

I should know, I'm experiencing it right now.

The first revelation I had in this direction was realizing that I wanted to be a[n] performer entertainer. I want to be on a stage and share my stories, humor, and experiences with others.

But for the longest time I didn't know that was an actual dream of mine (read - I just uncovered it this year).

Every time an idea in that ballpark floated through my head it was quickly squashed by the voice of my saboteur.

The older you get, the harder it becomes to really dream - and dream big. [Generally speaking]

As we age, we become more bogged down by what others tell us, comparisons, outcomes, and the illusion of absolute certainties. And to dream even slightly outside the box becomes challenging.

The crazy thing I've noticed is when we get to this point we unconsciously think we need to be given permission to dream big.
To go outside of our 'lane' or 'persona'.
To be unrealistic.
To ignore all impossibilities and potential obstacles.

Because of my own experience with this, let me say:

I give you permission to dream BIG.

Bigger than you've dreamed before.

Forget about logistics or how it will happen - just let your innermost desires out. Let them breathe and rise to the highest heights.

Dream so big is scares you.
(but in the excited way)

And know that there is No 'wrong' in dreaming.
There is No 'dumb' in dreaming.
There is No 'selfish,' 'foolish,' or 'childish' in dreaming.

I challenge you to dream up the craziest thing you can imagine!
And then do it again and again!
Believe it or not, dreaming takes practice.

No matter how seasoned of a dreamer you are - I believe in you and you deserve to dream and imagine your heart's desires. 

Go ahead - give it a try. You can do it!

*********

And if you DID give it a try and you were met with incoming thoughts even remotely close to:

But I can't to that...
But I wouldn't be able to do that...
But I don't do that...

Let's talk and we can work together to let your dreams take the reins.

Day 200: Grandma's on Eagle's Wings

Walking home from the dentist today I saw a giant eagle in the sky.

It stayed with me for much longer than any cloud shape I've seen before ever has. 

Or at least it seemed like it. 

You know how it is - when clouds move and the image you initially saw starts to warp into something new.

My mind was instantly filled with the thought of my Grandma.

Why? 

Because at her funeral years ago, we [classically] sang the hymn "On Eagle's Wings" . . . and were joined in the cemetery by two Bald Eagles flying above us. 

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous 

Don't I believe it!

So, I don't think this was a coincidence either . . .

What anonymous un-coincidences have you experienced?

Day 199: Playing with Shadows

Not a lot to say here other than sometimes shadows can show us some very interesting things.

Dual images, albeit a bit unclear.

Light where you wouldn't expect it.

And more depth than you'd imagine - at least is often the case for me.

Whether literal or figurative, shadows are meant to be explored. 

Because when we explore the shadows we gain information and understanding. And eventually, a much more interesting picture than we started with.

Day 198: Puddle Rinse

Two people are sitting on a bench eating ice cream. (Ok, it's me and a friend)

Each scoop is so big it looks as if it's about to topple off the cone at any moment. It's also mid-August in Chicago, so humidity is actively at play.

The ice cream cones are dripping like crazy. By the time they've been consumed there are ice cream tracks all over our hands.

 

Napkins can only do so much.

 

"I'm going to grab some hand sanitizer from my car," my friend says.

I walk with them, hoping the hand sanitizer would be able to make my hands feel just a little bit more clean. 

 

But then I spot a puddle. 

 

And I pause.

'I don't know if hand sanitizer is going to do the trick - I need water!' I think to myself. 

 

Without a second's thought more, I'm rinsing my hands as best I can in the curbside puddle. At this point I'm basically a bird, bathing in whatever vessel of water I could find. 

 

Forget the fact that this Chicago street puddle was absolutely not clean at all and hand sanitizer would, indeed, have been the better option. I was running on the allure of illusion.

 

water = clean

Let me tell you, that's not always true.

Which is why I didn't actually rinse my hands in the puddle - regardless of how tempted I was. In reality, all I did was make a joke about it.

I think its a good reminder that it's never a bad idea to give yourself an extra beat to think things through. Both about what you really want and what you think is available to you.

Day 197: Naptime Reflections

I just woke up from a nap. There were a lot of things happening in it that I didn't really understand. The main point I could get was that I would be traveling soon. To where or for how long, I couldnt tell you.

What I do recall, is having a strong desire to go see my goat, Ruby, before I left. 'I should go spend some time with her,' I'd thought, imagining myself giving her love as she rubbed her face on my leg in her particular - and signature - way. Such a sweet and gentle girl. With a beautiful red-brown color.

Despite being in a dream my conscienceness reminded me, 'but you can't, she's dead.'

The dream continued.

I was in what seemed like a meeting room/living room, with others slowing filing in. Two people, facilitators of the casual meeting, entered with boxes. They started pulling rubber banded stacks of some kind of cards out of the boxes, calling the name of the recipient with each new bunch. But they weren't given out at random. The cards were made specifically for each recipient. And I can only infer, the purpose was to give them out to others.

The alarm I'd set for my short nap then sounded. I never learned what the cards were actually for or where I was to travel with them.

Ain't that a lot like life. 

 

We have loved ones and lost ones (pets and people alike). We have tools and resources presented to us, even if we don't know what they are for or how to use them. And we are always traveling, be it through time, distance, or life.

Nothing in life is certain.

And a lot of things won't make sense until they're over.

But the reflection of our experiences - finding meaning and gratitude in all of them - is what allows us to make sense of things.

It's what allows us to learn.

And it's what keeps us moving toward the future.

Day 196: Bad Intentions

I have the belief that people don't have bad intentions.

Generally speaking, that is (sociopaths, obviously, are excluded from this statement). Naive as it may sound, it's with this belief that I've operated for the majority of my life. 

It's served me well in many situations. And it has equally gotten me into situations that could easily have ended very badly (and thankfully didn't).

This belief came fully into view when reflecting on my relationship with my last boyfriend. It lasted two years and quickly turned into one of the most volatile and unhealthy experiences of my life, thus far.
Just thinking about it, I felt embarrassed and ashamed at the numerous behaviors and situations I tolerated. Why would I allow so many things I knew weren't ok with me to happen, repeatedly?

Well - many reasons, but the biggest one is because I believed he didn't have bad intentions. That he was a good person, despite the bad behavior.

I don't think this is a flawed belief so much as it is an incomplete one. One that fails to account for the messages my intuition and instincts often tried so hard to tell me.

People don't have bad intentions, but they need to be called out when their actions hurt others.

Because how would they know otherwise?

At the time I didn't understand this part. I thought it should be obvious that if a person's actions hurt another, that it wasn't ok to do. But the reality is, not everyone knows this.

They aren't thinking of others when they make their decisions. They are thinking about themselves.

Just like the rest of us.

Every decision we make is made with the intent to help us, to fill a need in some way.

Often these needs are the unseen internal, emotional needs that allow us to feel safe, secure or accepted.

And even more often, we are completely unaware of them and how they are dictating our actions. As was the case in my experience.

Understanding the motives behind the behavior of others is helpful in order to offer compassion and humanity.

Being aware of our own beliefs is important in order to offer compassion and understanding to ourselves.

And, as I've recently come to learn, scrutinizing and adapting our beliefs when our reality takes on an air of unease is vital.

Because when your beliefs fully align with what feels good to you, the situations and people in your life are good to you, too.

Day 195: Why I Donate

 

Interviewer: We are asking real life donors what inspires them to donate.

 

Interviewer: Why don't you just buy snacks?

Day 194: Dating Definitions

What's your definition of dating?

I didn't realize until this week how important this question is. Not only to answer for yourself, but to learn about your potential suitors and matches.

On a recent first date 'intent' was discussed. "What are you looking for?"
'Something long-term' was the answer on both sides.
Then I made a comment about 'hook-up culture' and was immediately met with disagreement at the very idea existing.
My date's strong sentiments were that hook-up culture isn't a thing and if people want to have sex when they first meet that shouldn't matter.

Fair. Your body, your choice [in ALL of the ways]. The aspect missing from his argument, however, was intent. 

This is where one's definition of dating is very important.

Prior to the pandemic, I hadn't given my own definition much conscious thought. Then, I happened upon an article that worded it perfectly:

Dating is just that. You're gathering data to see if the person you're connecting with is someone worth your time, energy and eventual devotion.

For me, the intent of dating is getting to know a person so that I may carry out the above definition.

This is in stark contrast to my definition of 'hook-up culture,' in which the intent is not to get to know another person or make strong connections. But rather, to gain self-worth from an outside source within a short timeline.

There's no shame in either game, but I think it's important to get clear on which you're playing.

Taking time to identify your own definition of dating is important.
In the words of Dr. Sarah Katula:

That’s why we date. It’s an opportunity for us to grow as individuals, and if we’re lucky, find a partner.

Day 193: Coincidence or Meant To Be?

In two weeks I'll be starting a stand-up class at Second City. 

I received an email about it the other day, updating on class logistics.

It seems my chosen class time was so popular they had to create two simultaneous groups and I would be hearing about my placement shortly.

I decided to painted my nails.

Not 20 minutes later I received another email, notifying me of which class group I was assigned.

I was placed in the Teal group.

 

 

The exact same color as the nail polish I had just applied.

Is it a coincidence or a sign it's meant to be?
I don't know.
But I'm guaranteed to find out in a few weeks.
For now though, I'll just delight in the unexpected synchronicity that occurred.

Day 192: Meeting David

I sat on a bench in the park of Logan Square as I waited for my brunch companion to arrive.

Down the path from me was a saxophone player, piping out the melodies of various songs accompanied by recorded background tracks.

He was good.

'This will be a pleasant way to spend my time as I wait,' I thought.

As long as the few stray raindrops I felt didn't recruit more consistent friends...

I was about to start a search of alternative brunch spots in the area, not sold on the hour wait time for the original restaurant pick. But a nearby commotion quickly captured my attention.

I looked up to observe a group of young adults passing blindly by a homeless man, who was quick to call attention to their choice of deeming him invisible.

The group exited the park and the homeless man continued expressing his distaste for their behavior.

We made eye contact.

He then directed his comments towards me.

"Some people won't even give you a common courtesy of acknowledging you exist." (Or something along those lines.)

I expressed my agreement with him, that everyone should and deserves to be acknowledged. We are all people, after all.

He walked over towards me, stopping by the empty end of the bench.

"May I?" he asked.

"Of course," I consent and he sits down.

"What's your name?" I asked him.

"David," he answers.

David is in his mid to late forties, with grown-out curls, and a short graying beard. There are crumbs stuck in the hair around his mouth and his clothes are rather worn and torn. His two bandaged arms quickly catch my attention, but not nearly as much as his eyes. David has pale, blue eyes that surprised me.

Rather than the glazed view I've come to associate with the challenges of homelessness, David's eyes told a different story. They were bright and clear and unexpectedly pulled at me with the depth of soul they revealed.

I was taken aback.

"Hi, David. I'm Sarah," I responded.

"You have a Bible name, too," he commented.

We began a conversation.

David likes to read and enjoys perusing the Free Little Libraries in the neighborhood. There's an air of enlightenment about him and he is clearly on the path of evolving his level of consciousness. Something I would have missed entirely had we met before I went through coach training.

He shared his gift of song lyric knowledge and remembering all of the words to pretty much every song he's heard. 'A blessing and a curse,' he called it. The lyrics move him deeply, which makes sense as he, himself, is a poet.

Art has always been a part of his life. His dad owned a fine art gallery of 17th and 18th century American paintings when he was growing up. He recalled when he was around the age of 10, there had been an art show featuring a Georgia O'Keeffe work; a prominent memory for him.

I asked him what happened to his arms.

"I was attacked with a crowbar. My left elbow was broken and my right arm has deep lacerations."

As much as I tried not to, my eyes began to prickle with sole piercing tears. Horrified to hear the recounting of the cruelty he endured.

"I was over [assaulted]." Or maybe he said over beaten, I can't remember the exact phrasing. Whatever it was, it gave the impression he was justifying a small amount of harm towards him, but not enough to send him to the hospital. My heart pained at this. No person deserves to be beaten. I'm sure there was more to the story, but I chose not to go down that path. Instead, I blinked back tears and listened as he continued.

"There have been a lot of times where I could have died. But I'm still here."

'And very clearly for a reason,' I thought to myself.

He then shared his desire to do good in the world, through his art of poetry and the other skills and talents he has. The dedication to this mission was almost tangible, which is probably why I felt so compelled to learn more about him.

But our conversation got cut short when he saw someone nosing a little too closely around his stuff. (Which was scattered all over the park. I had wanted to inquire about that, too, but forwent the question in lieu of hearing more of his story.)

"Hey, that's mine - don't touch it!" he yelled from his seat on our bench.

"Leave that alone!" He warned again, then left me behind to guard his possessions.

It was a very strange encounter.

I've noticed I have deeply moving meetings (specifically with homeless people - interestingly enough) every few years.

Meeting David is definitely in a category of its own, though. For reasons I don't fully understand.

Perhaps it's because rather than having pity or sympathy and a desire to help, I instead had objectivity, openness and an intense desire to learn.

I think another factor coming into play is a somewhat spiritual one.

In what way?

I'm still unclear. But I would be lying if I said, upon looking him in the eyes, that I didn't have the passing thought, 

'I might be talking to Jesus right now.'

Day 191: Live Life Inside-out

Live life inside-out.

So often we live life outside-in.
With constant inundation of information and opinions, shoulds, coulds and need tos.

Criteria for how to live, act, look, Be.

And it's all coming from other people.

And yet, we see it and digest it as if it were our own idea.

That's outside-in living.

That's inauthentic living.

That's restrictive living.

To live inside-out is to let your own thoughts, opinions, likes and preferences, values and dreams direct your day to day and curate your future.

To live inside-out is to feel how you want to and put that out into the world. Not taking whatever the world gives you and hoping for the best.

To live inside-out is to choose oneself.

To live inside-out is to trust oneself.

To live inside-out is to free oneself.
[from self-criticism, judgement, comparisons, . . . ]

Day 190: How to be a life long learner

It has nothing to do with the formal education system. But it will likely involve schooling yourself - about yourself.

I'm talking self-learning.
Learning about oneself, for life.

Learning about life is important.

But learning about oneself is vital.

Knowing everything about life, but nothing of oneself is like having a nice car but no gas. You can't really go anywhere with it.

It looks good on the outside, but on the inside something is missing.

Learn about yourself continuously.

How?

Start at the beginning.
How all living creatures (mostly) learn new skills.

Observation.

Observe everything.

• Your Thoughts
• Your Emotions
• Your Actions (& reactions)
• Your Physical sensations
• Your Intuition
• Your Struggles
• Your Successes
• Your Best
• Your Worst

And then, without judgement, question everything.

Questioning why things are as they seem will always reveal a deeper level of reasoning and understanding. 

Do this and you'll see the world - and yourself - change in unexpected ways.

Day 189: Nature's Monet

 Beauty is in the eye of the beholder . . .

 

and so is interpretation.

*****

This beautiful work of art was created 100% by the natural world. 

Meaning, this isn't a painting.

Did I fool you?!

It's actually a stunning reflection of plants and a heron off the surface of North Pond!

Allow me to show you the full picture . . .

Here, let me flip it for you so it's even easier to see what initially met the eye.

It's pretty cool how looking at something in a different way can completely change the perception and interpretation you have of it.

Where might you benefit from taking a different angled view in your own life or daily observations?

Day 188: Duck Slapped

I witnessed the most unexpected altercation.

And it all started with a giant turtle.

I had seen him once before where he appeared a bit timid. But this time he was straight up chilling.

Nothing seemed to phase him - not the other turtles, the fish, me with my camera - nothing.

Also, note the human-like face!

Or so I thought.

Off in the distance I saw a duck headed our way. And she was moving in fast!

By the time she was maybe 5 feet out, all of the turtles began to disperse.

Who was moving the fastest?

The giant turtle.

As the duck closed in on her now empty target, she veered off to the right and out of sight.

Turtle chill mode was once again back on.

The giant turtle, by this time, had slowly begun his descent towards the center of the pond, becoming harder and harder to see.

Then, suddenly, the duck was back! Seemingly out of nowhere. And she was making a bee line straight for the giant turtle!

Through squinting eyes I managed to make out the uptick of speed as the giant turtle tried to escape his apparent nemesis.

But it was to no avail. 

 

 

The next thing I see is the duck overtaking the giant turtle and then a large splash. Water flew up into the sky as if from a cannonball dive.

"Oh my gosh!!!" I exclaimed as my jaw literally dropped.

I looked around to see if anyone else enjoying the pond had witnessed it. Apparently not.

The turtle was nowhere to be seen.

And the duck swam off as if nothing happened.

Day 187: Likes

It's a weird thought that for many years, I went through life not really knowing what I liked.

As an adult.

(Well, obviously as an adult - kids know what they like.)

I only recently woke up from a period of putting other people's likes in the forefront. I was always trying to "accomodate others," or so I thought that's what I was doing.

Partly because I felt like that's what I was "supposed to do."

And partly because I was met with such indecision when the task of choosing what to do fell on me.

I would immediately start second guessing myself.

• What if the other ppl didn't like what I chose?
• I have an idea, but I should do what other ppl like

What?!

No!

Just pick what you like!

If other people don't like it they can say so or suggest an alternative option.

It is not your responsibility to predict how others will act or to cater to the wants and preferences you assume they have.

I wish I could have grabbed past me by the shoulders, given and little shake, and let these sentiments fly!

Better late than never, I guess...

Having finally gotten the message, I'm really enjoying rediscovering and recognizing things I like. 

 

Whether planned activity or passing moment, recognizing the physical, mental, and soul satisfaction I experience as I go through my days is exciting!

Realizing - I don't like this because 'this is something So-and-so likes' (which used to be how I thought, thus limiting my own enjoyment).

I like it because I like it.

Because it brings ME enjoyment.

And I don't need anyone else around to enjoy it or to justify it.

I don't need to justify enjoying life!

And neither do you.

Ever.

Feel your joy and feel it fully.

Because when you feel joy, you spread joy.

And joy starts with things you like.

Day 186: Plant Scales

 These make me think of turtles. Guess which part?

Day 185: Getting out of my way

"I wish I could tell so-and-so about 'X' but they won't understand."

 

"I can't be honest with my coworker because I will hurt their feelings."

 

"I just want to be able to share freely and have others engaged in my life."

Anytime I have a thought about something I can't do because of other people (or how they will interpret/handle the situation), it is an instant sign that I am getting in my own way.

I am preventing myself from doing whatever it is I say I want.

It is my interpretation and assumption about the topic that makes up my perception. And, in situations as illustrated above, this perception is that I can't do / be / have whatever it is.

If I interpreted the topic differently and had different assumptions - or got rid of assumptions altogether - that would greatly change how I view the control I have over the situation.

I'll give two examples.

Example 1

I had the desire to have a closer connection / relationship with my parents. For me, sharing is the way to strengthen a relationship. But I wasn't sharing. Instead, I was severely restricting the topics and content I would discuss. As a result, the relationship didn't get stronger, it got weaker.

     

Why was I doing the polar opposite of what I wanted?

Because I had the belief that "I can't talk to them about XYZ topics."

The topics I wanted to share about the most.

The topics I judged myself for the most.

My interpretation of my own life experiences was one of harsh ridicule and judgment. I was grading myself on a scale of perfection, and with life experiences brand new to me, I could never measure up.

I judged myself so unkindly that I began to assume that others would do the same. And the fear of having the people who have known me my whole life thinking poorly of me was a fear I wasn't willing to face.

So I did it for them. Removing all possibility from my mind that there could be any other outcome.

I chose to restrict myself and my natural state of openness because my interpretation of the situation was "I had things to feel bad about or disappointed in myself for, and because of that I couldn't share my experiences with others."

Example 2

(This one's a bit lighter)

A new acquaintance was telling me about his struggle to promote his music.

He shared how his album featured several prominent singers of the genre and that they would most likely be willing to give him a shout out on social media. Thus, exposing him to their fan bases.

"So, what's the problem?" I challenged.

His response immediately focused on others. "They're willing to help, but I think they just want to promote as a larger campaign to see their reach amplified."

I still didn't see the problem.

From the logistical standpoint, that is.

But from the mental standpoint, it was like a giant neon sign:

UNHELPFUL INTERPRETATIONS,  ASSUMPTIONS, AND LIMITING BELIEFS AT WORK

 

These two examples illustrate how what we think, the assumptions we make, and how we interpret things all work together to create a certain picture.

If the picture being created is not what we want, we might do well to challenge it and investigate why.

Afterall, there are no rules in life that make something 100% impossible.

Anything is possible.

Really.

It's only when we let our current perspectives prevent us from moving forward that we become defeated or denied what we want.

Day 184: Generosity

Generosity to others expands in direct proportion with the generosity we give outselves.

When we restict and set limitations to our wants, pleasures and joys, the generosity towards others, too, becomes restricted.

When we allow ourselves simple joys, indulgences, and delights, the desire to give, share, and be generous with others amplifies.

Experiment for yourself.

Think about a period of time you restricted giving to yourself. What did your generosity towards other look like and feel like at that time?

Conversely, think about a period of time where you were generous and giving towards yourself. What did your generosity towards other look like and feel like at that time?

It's possible this phenomenon is unique to me. But I don't think that is the case. No matter how true it may seem, no one person is so original, unique, or different that they are the sole experiencer of any particular occurance.

We are never alone - at least in our experiences. And when we are generous with ourselves we become even more connected with others.

Day 183: Something you need to know

 

 

"If you received this card from me, that means
I see something that you need to know."

 

I found this on the ground near the back entrance of my apartment building. 
. . . does that mean it's from the Universe?

 

I don't know what it means, but I'm sure there's some significance to it. 

 

We can all use a reminder from time to time to break out of our usual ways of thinking in order to take in something new. 

I wonder what I'm missing right now . . . ?

Day 182: Phases of priority

I wonder if we have a hard time remembering what we really enjoyed as children (i.e. the basis of what we are most passionate about), once we reach adulthood because we've gone so long with it not being a priority.

When we are young, we are all about the things we like. Then as we grow up, other things come onto our radar and the initial interests are given less and less attention. 

They are no longer priorities in this phase of life.

It makes sense. 

As a child you are enjoying life. 

As a teen and young adult (while still enjoying) the focus shifts to experiencing and trying to understand life. 

Then once you settle into relatively established adult life -and you've more or less got the hang of things - you have more time again to direct towards the things you love. You know, fulfillment and purpose sort of stuff.

But there's a problem -

You aren't really certain of what you love anymore. 

It's been so long since you've experienced that child-like joy - and the activities that brought it - that they are kind of hard to identify.

So you do what you're "supposed to do as an adult."

Whatever the heck that means...

Boring things? 

Things that don't seem entirely engaging or appealing to you?

And no matter what you do, you still can't seem to find that thing you're looking for. 

In all of that searching and forcing you overlook the option of just being.

Just Being. 

 

Being you. 

 

Tapping back into the feeling of childhood, when the things you did were because they interested you. Because they made you feel good.

With no set agenda or expected outcome, the goal really can be simply to enjoy.

Let's start there. Let's start with things we enjoy, even for a brief moment.

You might be surprised what you find.

Day 181: We are all rats

I saw a rat run across the sidewalk in front of me and hide underneath a parked car. 

I would be seeking refuge, too, if I were a rat. 

Rats are given a bad reputation. The collective thought being, "oh gross, a rat!" when seeing one.

Their reputation is 'being disgusting,' after all.

Have you ever had an experience where you were labeled something that had nothing to do with who you are or your characteristics? 

We are all rats. 

There's nothing inherently wrong with us. 

We are not gross. 

But we are often given labels by others. 

Just like rats.

And maybe we do eat garbage. 

And we may also spread disease. 

But this isn't our fault. 

The garbage and the disease comes from the environment in which we live.

I don't know the last time you took a look at the western social climate we live in, but it's not great.

We all ARE human. We are all living beings.

And we all have a place and a purpose.

We don't have to accept the labels put upon us.

We don't have to accept the same fate as rats.

Day 180: Delight

Yesterday afternoon my attention was caught by the sound of child giggles drifting through my open window.

Naturally, I went to investigate. 

I saw a little girl playing fetch with a neighbor dog in the back alley while her mom talked with the dog's owner.

Every time she threw the ball peals of laughter would erupt. Her delight in watching the outcome of her effortful throw followed by the dog taking flight was palpable. 

Whoa, when did I start grinning so widely? 

I felt like I could stand there for days, just watching this child play. 

Then I found myself thinking, "I bet this is one of the first times she's done this. I wonder if playing fetch with a dog is a new experience for her?"

The little girl eventually started chasing the ball herself, overcome with excitement in everything that was happening.

As a got my fill of observational-back-alley-window-creeping, I thought about how I personally recognize delight and experience it in my own life. This brief deconstruction revealed a number of details and [true to me] truths I hadn't before realized, such as:

I love the feeling of delight so much because it feels like you're experiencing something for the first time.

It doesn't matter if it's brand new or old hat - when you are delighted by something, there is such a sense of surprised joy. It's a single moment (or experience) that fills you with joy so instantly and unexpectedly, it surprises you.

And it's a wonderful surprise - probably the best feeling you could ever imagine - in a quick flash.

Much like a verbal exclamation of 'ouch!' (or other expletive) is the instant pain reaction to touching a hot pan, giggles are the joy reaction to delight.

Delight comes from the lack of expectations; being open to whatever the experience brings.
And it's when the unexpected occurs, that the magic happens.