Day 48: One step at a time

I had a coaching session recently in which we touched on the notion of taking one step at a time.

It's so easy to find yourself in a situation of uncertainty, not knowing what step to take first. When this happens it can feel like the only way to move forward is to figure out every step needed to overcome the obstacle, before you can take any action at all. 

 

Interestingly enough, this approach may actually do more harm than good.

When we worry about steps past the first one, it can often impact our ability to see the opportunities that are actually available to us.

For the client that I discussed this topic with, common byproducts of trying to figure out every step upfront were fear, stress, and anxiety.

 

How many of us can relate? 

How many times have we gotten overwhelmed by trying to do everything at once? (No, just me?)

When we don't know what comes next it is so easy to fall into the vicious cycle of 'what if?'. 

What if this happens? 

Then, what if that happens? 

But then this could also happen, too. 

 

All of these hypothetical worries aren't helpful. And it's something that we all fall victim to at times.

We're all human.

We want to know what's going to happen in our own lives.

 

Sometimes, however, there's beauty and an advantage of not knowing what's to come.

 

All that really matters in each moment is the single, next step you will take.

That's it.

Nothing more.

 

Why?

 

Because we can't control any outcome (that occurs outside of ourselves). And if we can't control the outcome, how would we know what the outcome will be?

 

We don't. It's all speculation.

 

So why not take a more childlike approach?

What if we approach the unknown with curiosity?

What if we allowed the unknown to be a surprise?! (Remember childhood, when surprises were cause for excitement rather than anxiety? Maybe that's just me, too.)

 

Easier said than done in a lot of situations, I know. However, the intent remains the same no matter what the circumstance.

The intent is Openness.

 

When we take one step at a time it allows us to be open to wherever we end up. Each step takes us to a different place than we were before. Each outcome presents different opportunities than we previously had access to.

 

In many situations there is no certainty what the outcome will be. 

In many situations the outcome will not be exactly what we anticipated. 

This is a key thing to realize because if we are planning on a certain outcome with future steps based on that imagined outcome, we're going to miss a LOT of other, arguably better, options right in front of us.