Sunday, July 10, 2011

$60 and a kiss

A few days ago I took my sewing machine into a repair shop to take care of some inconvenient technical issues. It was a small locally owned business run by an oldish Assyrian man and his brother.

Upon meeting the man I had spoken with on the phone, Benny, I was quite surprised to find such a nice, funny, old man. We talked quite a while when I dropped off my piece of machinery, discussing everything from what bobbins look like from machines from the 1800s to how the Singer brand got it's name. We even explored how Benny has so many ideas for different inventions ("i'm an inventor, you are too"). I, apparently, had the privilege of hearing two of these said inventions and somehow ended up consenting to being Benny's business partner -"we'll go in 50/50."
'Yeah, ok'
- was my response, not really thinking he was serious. After a brief Assyrian vocab lesson and randomly talking to his brother on his cell phone when he called I said goodbye and planned to return in two days time to pick up my repaired sewing machine.

The following day I received a call from Benny telling me the repairs were finished and I could come pick my machine up any time. Luckily for me I had the use of a car the next morning, eliminating my need to haul what felt like a box of bricks around on the bus for a second time.

I got to the shop around 11 and what did I find? A locked door. ...uh....hmm...now what? So I gave Benny a call -"I came to pick up my machine but there's no one here." I was assured he would be there in the next hour so I went about my day and looped back a bit later.

Now this is where things get kind of weird - as if him asking if I wanted to talk to his brother on his cell phone when I first met him wasn't weird enough. I go back into the shop and test out my machine to make sure it's working properly and inquire about payment. Cash only? That sucks, so I ran across the street to Spinny's Market to use the ATM. Once I got back I handed Benny the $60 he charged me and I hear "Oh, actually it's sixty dollars and a half." So I think he means $65 and start digging in my purse for my wallet.
"Did you hear what I said?" he asks me.
'Yeah, $60 and a half'
"No, I said $60 and a hug."
OOOHHHHHH, now I get it. Me, being the incredibly smart person I am reply
'Oh! Ok sure.' - no big deal right?

I prepared to leave and thanked him a few times for the repairs. As i was turning to leave Benny says "Wait, what about my hug?"
'Oh right' - and I walk around the desk to give him a hug. It isn't until mid embrace that I realize what a bad idea that really was. It became blatantly clear when I tried pulling away and he didn't give any indication of letting go any time soon. Then i feel scratchy whiskers on my skin - he kissed my neck!! Twice!!!! I pulled away as fast as humanly possible, weirded out but not wanting to be rude. "I like you, you're a very nice girl," he tells me "you'll remember that kiss on the neck won't you?"
'(insert uncomfortable laugh here) yeah, I will.'
"Before you leave I have a gift for you" - uh oh, what in the world is that supposed to mean? To my relief he pulls out a pair of thread snippers and I am finally able to get out of the shop and the whole awkward situation.

I've realized from this that at times I am entirely too nice. But hey, it makes for a pretty good story and I did get free thread snips . . .

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Poodles + dreadlocks = AMAZING

I saw my first Rastafarian Poodle the other day on my walk to the lakefront to watch the fireworks. Picture, if you will, a black poodle with the classic hair cut associated with the breed. However, instead of a poof of curls sitting atop the pooch's head there was a patch of dreads. Long, thin, doggie dreads that blew in the wind like Fabio's luscious locks during a photo shoot. Talk about majestic!

Earlier in the day I went to the "beach" with my roomies with the goal of evening out an unsightly chest tan line. While venturing thigh high into the undoubtedly germ infested dirty water I, from out of nowhere, feel something hit me in the back. I immediately run my hand over the assaulted surface only to collect a handful of wet sand. Someone had thrown a glob of wet sand at me!! I quickly spin around and instantly zero in on the culprits, a group of 5 elementary school aged children. "Ooohhhhhhhhhhh" I let out in a menacing tone. 10 little eyes grew larger. I was very tempted to reach down and fling my own sand blob straight back at them, but I didn't know who to aim for. That and I didn't want to have to deal with any angry parents later on.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

This humidity will be the death of me . . . until of course the temperature drops. Did i mention convenient store workers love us?!?

ON a hot, hot day in July . . .
Sa smells her knee, then her armpit . . .
So- Smell anything?
Sa- . . . I don't smell anything
[So smells her armpits]
So- . . . maybe a little . . .
Sa- me too
Both- HAHAHAHAHAHA

Today we received the "Beautiful Twin Girl Discount," consisting of free Smarties candies and a reduced price on a quart of milk. SCORE!!! First-discounted milk, next-winning lottery tickets!!! Oh yeah . . .

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Wednesday

I've come to the conclusion that tourist little kids bug me, a lot.

I also will openly admit that when listening to my ipod and it dies on me I just leave my head phones in so people think i'm still listening to my music. I do this for a couple of reasons.
1) I am, apparently, too lazy to take the lil' suckers out
2) It gives me an excellent cover for extreme eavesdropping (not like i've ever needed a cover, but still . . . )
3) It improves my chances of the creeps staying away. I've noticed the weirdos you meet on the train typically only bother the people who are just sitting there - without any form of distraction.

Today I woke up and looked out the window. It was pouring. I thought to myself 'I really hope it stops before I have to walk to the train station.' Today must have been my lucky day, it only poured after I had safely made it inside. Shocking!

I really need to go grocery shopping soon . . . I really really don't want to.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Runny peanut butter . . . Yum???

This morning as I was preparing to make my lunch I decided on the old fall-back of PB&J. Not really because I love it all that much (though I do usually find it quite delicious) but because on early mornings it is pretty much the only thing I have time to slap together - that and I just the night before picked up some more peanut butter and jelly. Not thinking much about my choice of organic peanut butter at the store yesterday left me with quite a shock this morning. Imagine my surprise when i peeled off the foil safety barrier to find a a pool of liquid sitting on top. -No big deal- I will just mix it up like I am (I'm assuming) supposed to and my peanut butter will be good to go.

. . . Hmm . . . maybe 'good to go' depends on your definition of what 'good' really is. As much as I'd like it to be, mine is not eating PB that has the consistency of whole milk yogurt . . . without any salt . . . at all. A quick look at the time told me I didn't have time to be picky and make something else (not that I would have anyway as i'm such a penny-pinching-tightwad) so I finished making my lunch and was on my way to the train station.

Along the way I passed a jacket in the middle of the road as well as a pair of shoes abandoned on the sidewalk a few yards beyond. I really wanted them to belong to the same person and hoped I would eventually find the rest of the stranger's outfit before I got to the train. But some dreams are meant to remain as such I guess . . .

Once on the train however I found a real winner. There she was just a walkin' down the street singin' do-wah-diddy-diddy-dum-diddy-do! Just kidding she wasn't walking or singing, but leaning, leaning against the window and her . . . wait for it . . . fold up scooter! Mind you this girl is probably early - mid 20s. But in retrospect that scooter was really working for her with her dangly leaf earring - hanging down from the top cartilage of her ear. If you ask me that's a bold statement right there, kind of like wearing a dangly eyebrow ring - which I've never seen in real life but i can definitely picture it in my head. This girl's whole aura was really enhanced by the way her lips couldn't seem to meet each other, ever (at least through out the duration of my exposure). This, paired with the continuous blank stare she sent permeating through the lenses of her gold framed aviators made for a very entertaining, though brief, chunk of time on the train. Welcome to Sarah's world, where people are observed with a scrutinizing eye on a constant basis. . . . but don't worry I'm not here to judge. I'm just looking for entertainment . . .

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Melting away and it's only Tuesday

Today was so hot! Not as hot as yesterday, but still hot nonetheless. The biggest problem I think was the humidity. I wasn't outside for longer than 20 minutes and I started to get sticky, gross! And that was in the morning!

Later today I was on the train and all of a sudden I heard a baby start crying and music begin to play simultaneously. It took a few seconds for me to figure out it was just someone's ring tone.